9.08.2009

A very zen approach to having a panic attack.

I'm Fucked: A Series of Haiku Poems
by Meghan McBlogger


Labor Day was brief,
Conference calls and dog-walking;
Can't turn off my phone.

Early to rise and
Scramble to put out big fires
Not of my making.

Mr. Foxx once said,
Blame it on the alcohol!
My boss prefers me.

Communication
Is the key to good business;
Got no Blackberry.

I emailed you twice!
Saturday nights reserved for
Red Stripe, not email.

I shoulder the blame
So my boss looks less inept,
Hark! It's Saint Meggles!

Scene from Rock of Love:
Don't throw me under the bus!
My boss is Lacey.

An office full of
Executives not so pleased,
Thank God for Xanax.

Feeling depressed I
Struggle to courtesy laugh;
You aint no Saget.

Oh, VP of Sales!
I've met you one-thousand times,
You should know my name.

I anxiously wait
For Boss number two to come.
Enter, Diablo!

What would Diane say
If I get fired today?
Goodbye apartment.

Twirling and whirling
Sliding down the pole with ease,
A limber new job.

A silver lining!
No dress code and finally
Some health insurance.

42 comments:

Unknown said...

i thought i was the only one who officially considered stripping and/or selling ass "plan b"...oh meg, this blog warms my heart everyday!

Razorblade Brain said...

love it!

Tony B. said...

I love the haikus
But I do love my life more
While watching "Point Break."

poelondon said...

Geeze, only 80% chance of being fired (via Twitter)? You are an underachiever. Wake me up when the odds hit 98.7%.

Off topic: Did you see Monsters Inside Me on Discovery channel this weekend? Holy f-ing parasites, my little stripper lass, it was SKURRY.

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Gah! No I didn't. I was house sitting for someone who has HBO On-Damand, so all TV time was spent catching up with True Blood.

A+ for Tony B's haiku.

Unknown said...

mondays hurt the heart
piece of FER stuck in my eye
eight months left...will die

ok i know its not technically supposed to rhyme, and tony b beat me to a haiku [ps point break?!? i think SO! remember when i made you watch it meg?! i wish we could go back to that simpler time...] but this is all ive got right now, and ever.

if i make it through this day, see you at 630...

AE Co. Buns said...

I'm not even gonna lie, I thought this ENTIRE POST was about me (my name is Avery, and thus I read "a very"- typical blonde move). . .and I had like 9 panic attacks this weekend.

Way to disappoint me Meg.

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Remember I almost shot myself in the face because Point Break infuriated me so much? Yep...wish I were on your couch cuddled up with you, a bottle of rhine, Jill, Talia, a pot of spaghetti and old Keanu right now.

See you at 6:30. The tears that are going to be shed...

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Sorry doll, I'll write about your panic attacks next time.

Anonymous said...

love the haikus. this reminds me of a blog i've recently become a fan of.

http://robot-poetry.blogspot.com/

robot haikus. what could be better?

Anonymous said...

It's finally happened.

http://thesnuggiesutra.com/about/

Unknown said...

Getting fired sucks
But maybe in Meg's boredom
More blog posts, hurray!

hiphophippie.com said...

I think getting fired is a stupendous option. I tried for 3 years at my last job and finally just had to quit. Come be unemployed with me...we'll eat cupcakes and watch terrible TV all day. I'm just sure someone will pay us to do that.

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

UM, THAT SOUNDS AMAZING. Don't even tempt me!

James I think you might be my favorite commenter. How do you feel about that?

Unknown said...

Um, I feel like we should get some sake-bombs, put on The Chronic, and totally be friends. Deal?

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Wow I just saw that last comment. And YES.

Anonymous said...

http://www.achildsplace.org/banners/tramadolonline/#2675 order tramadol online - buy tramadol online without a prescription

Unknown said...

1000 pound loans over 12 months bad credit is the source of quick cash for people with bad credit history and low credit rating.

payday loans open sunday
12 month loans direct lenders only
no credit check loans 12 month
1 year loan bad credit

John said...

gucci borse
mont blanc pens
ghd
insanity workout
fitflop uk
toms shoes
ray bans
nike air force 1
replica watches
oakley sunglases cheap
canada goose outlet
ghd hair straighteners
coach factory outlet
gucci shoes
kate spade outlet
cheap uggs boots
instyler max
adidas shoes uk
ugg boots clearance
nike trainers
air max 90
ugg boots
coach outlet online
timberland boots
air jordans
burberry outlet
cheap oakleys
tory burch outlet
air force 1
sac longchamp
pandora
2015912yuanyuan

Unknown said...

cheap nfl jerseys, http://www.cheapnfljerseys.org/
rolex watches uk, http://www.rolexwatches-uk.co.uk/
nike free uk, http://www.nikefreerunning.org.uk/
ralph lauren, http://www.poloralphlaurenoutlet.it/
oakley outlet, http://www.oakleyoutlet.in.net/
karen millen dresses, http://www.karenmillendressesoutlets.co.uk/
beats by dr dre, http://www.beatsbydrdre-headphones.us.com/
canada goose outlet, http://www.canadagoose.us.org/
nike free, http://www.nikefreerunning.org/
prada shoes, http://www.pradashoes.us/
michael kors factory outlet, http://www.michaelkorsfactoryoutlet.us.org/
timberland boots, http://www.timberlandboots.name/
replica watches, http://www.replicawatchesforsale.us.com/
ray ban sunglasses, http://www.raybansunglassesonline.us.com/
nike mercurial, http://www.nikemercurial.org/
coach handbags, http://www.coachhandbagsoutletonline.us.com/
louis vuitton, http://www.borselouisvuittonoutlet.it/
coach outlet store, http://www.coach-outlet-store.us.com/
basketball shoes, http://www.basketballshoes.us.com/
cheap nike shoes, http://www.cheap-nikeshoes.cc/
michael kors outlet, http://www.michaelkorsoutlet.org.uk/
2015918caihuali

John said...

coach outlet online
abercrombie & fitch
louis vuitton handbags
hollister clothing
sunglasses oakley
canada goose outlet store
ralph lauren outlet
louis vuitton handbags
oakley outlet
toms shoes
uggs for sale
the north face outlet
cheap jerseys
michael kors outlet
oakley outlet
louis vuitton purses
louis vuitton outlet
ralph lauren shirts
ray-ban sunglasses
beats solo
ugg sale
coach factory outlet
cheap ugg boots
louis vuitton outlet stores
kobe 8
hollister clothing
nfl jerseys
oakley sunglasses sale
mont blanc
michael kors handbags
ugg australia outlet
canada goose
uggs on sale
kevin durant shoes 2015
2016113yuanyuana

aboshady said...

شركة تنظيف شقق ببريدة
شركة تنظيف بعنيزة
شركة تنظيف بيوت بعنيزة
شركة تنظيف منازل بعنيزة
شركة تنظيف فلل بعنيزة

Unknown said...

louis vuitton
michael kors outlet online
fitflops sale
uggs outlet
mulberry handbags
true religion outlet
lacoste pas cher
fitflops shoes
calvin klein underwear
air jordan 4
chanyuan10.18

Unknown said...

adidas yeezy
polo ralph lauren
boston celtics jerseys
jordans for sale
kate spade
ugg boots
red bottom shoes
gucci outlet
michael kors handbags
seattle seahawks jerseys
201610.21wengdongdong

Karen said...



Our Tennessee Titan Flag is constructed of polyester, measures 3x5 feet, and has two plastic D-rings for attaching to our 6' aluminum flagpole or tailgate pole. The perimeter of our Tennessee Titan Flag is double stitched and the Tennessee Titan team logos are dye sublimated into the flag so they won't peel. Due to its large size, these flags are also perfect to hang on any wall in your game room, sports room, or office.

nfl flags wholesale
nfl house divided flags
dallas cowboys american flag
cowboys stars and stripes flags, House Divided Flags,Sports Flags 3x5, Sports flags and banners,nfl House Divided Flags

Unknown said...

Il negozio per Maglia Bayern Monaco 2016-17 mercato più completo e affidabile, una serie di sconti speciali. (Clicca sul link per visualizzare le camicie, o più tardi)
Importo 201-299 Euro: 5% di sconto,
Importo 301-399 Euro: 7% di sconto,
Importo 401-499 Euro: 9% di sconto,
Importo 501-1000 Euro: 12% di sconto.
Acquisto importo superiore a 99 euro, spedizione gratuita!
Pagamento opzionale: carta di credito, MoneyGram, trasferimento bancario.magliette calcio
maglie calcio 2017,
maglie calcio poco prezzo, Maglia Deportivo prezzo a poco prezzo

Unknown said...

cheap nhl jerseys
michael kors outlet
christian louboutin outlet
tiffany and co
cheap oakley sunglasses
ralph lauren polo
swarovski outlet
ferragamo shoes
uggs outlet
coach outlet online coach factory outlet
20170111lck

FauziUzi said...

Obat Mengatasi Gudik (Scabies)

Ramuan Herbal Cenang, Borok atau Budug

Obat Herbal Jelly Gamat Walatra

Pemesanan Walatra G-Sea (Jelly Gamat Rasa Jeruk)

Cara Resmi Pemesanan QnC Jelly Gamat

Cara Mengobati Batu Empedu

Red Devils said...

Cara Alami Menghilangkan Kapalan Pada Kaki Dan Tangan
Mengobati Sariawan Dengan Cepat Dan Ampuh Secara Alami

FauziUzi said...

Thank you very much for sharing this very useful information, I am very happy to have found this information that I have been looking for this long
Cara Ampuh Mengobati Osteoporosis

Obat Penyakit Parkinson Alami

Cara Untuk Mengobati Granuloma Annulare

Cara Alami Mengobati Kifosis

Cara Untuk Mengatasi Hemangioma

Cara Untuk Mengobati Asma Dengan Ampuh

Kim said...

Thank you very much for sharing this very useful information, I am very happy to have found this information that I have been looking for this long
Pengobatan Untuk Mengatasi Nyeri Dada

Obat Alami Untuk Menyembuhkan Penyakit Kulit

Cara Menghilangkan Benjolan Di Tangan

Obat Untuk Mengatasi Kutu Air

Cara Menyembuhkan Nyeri Ulu Hati

Obat Alami Untuk Menyembuhkan Sakit Perut Sebelah Kiri Paling Ampuh

Sean Garnier said...

Thank you very much for sharing this very useful information, I am very happy to have found this information that I have been looking for
Obat Sakit Punggung

Obat Luka Koreng

Obat Sakit Perut Sebelah Kiri

Obat Luka Jahitan Yang Terbuka

Walatra Sehat Mata Softgel – NANO Technology

Cara Menghilangkan Rorombeheun

obat abtu ginjal alami said...


I can only express a word of thanks, nothing else. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge Thank you very much has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health.
herbal penghancur batu empedu
cara menghancurkan batu empedu
obat budug paling ampuh
cara Memesan QnC Jelly Gamat

Toko Herbal QnC said...


I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health.
cara mengobati fibroadenoma
obat kaki bengkak karena asam urat
Cara Mengobati Penyakit Splenomegali
thank you for the visit, thank you also have provided the information we really need, do not forget to share information and visit our page thank you. Do not forget to visit our website to share information about health. greetings success

Obat Kliyengan Alami said...


I can only express a word of thanks. Because with the content on this blog I can add knowledge I, thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health.
obat kliyengan alami
cara mengatasi penyakit pes
thank has been sharing this information. Do not forget to visit our website to share information and knowledge about health.
distributor gamat emas kapsul
cara mengobati sakit kepala

Obat Penyakit Sembelit said...


Continue to Perbiki his blog to get a good blog !!

Pengobatan Penyakit Sinusitis
Pengobatan Varises dengan Bahan Alami
Obat Radang Dinding Rahim
Obat Penyakit Miom dan Kista
Cara Mengobati Mata Merah Berlendir
Cara Mengobati Penyakit Kencing Nanah

Riko JR said...

Hopefully, sustenance will be easy and simplified in all matters :-)
OBAT BATU GINJAL ALAMI
khasiat vitamin anak
agen QnC Jelly Gamat banjarmasin
cara mengatasi radang panggul
obat infeksi saluran kemih

Sembuh Dengan Pengobatan Alami said...

Thank you very much for sharing this very useful information, I am very happy to have found the information I was looking for. Once again, thank you so much.
cara mengatasi bintik berair yang terasa gatal
cara mengobati abses gigi secara alami
obat tradisional penyakit graves
cara menghilangkan sakit kepala cluster
cara tradisional menyembuhkan gondongan
cara mengobati impetigo pada anak
obat penghilang rasa sakit pada tulang
cara menghilangkan benjolan seperti bisul di ketiak
cara mengobati pitted keratolysis
obat luka koreng bernanah

Obat Alami Untuk Kuku Cantengan said...


This article is interesting and useful. And let me share an article about health which insha Allah will be very useful if we use it again for others.

Cara Menghilangkan Rasa Mual
Obat Kanker Laring Paling Ampuh
Cara Mengobati Penyakit Lipoma
Cara Mengobati Campak Dengan Daun Jarak
6 Tips Obat Untuk Cara Mengobati Bronkitis
Cara Untuk Mengangkat Kanker Hati Tanpa Operasi

Pengobatan Alami Terbaik said...

Thank you very much for sharing this very useful information, I am very happy to have found the information I was looking for. Once again, thank you so much.
obat penghilang bopeng yang terbukti ampuh
obat sakit payudara dan bengkak
obat gerd herbal
cara mengatasi anemia pada remaja
obat tradisional abses payudara
obat penghilang rasa sakit pada tulang
obat alami pengapuran otak
cara mengobati glaukoma dengan obat alami terbaik
obat luka koreng bernanah
cara menyembuhkan luka jahitan yang terbuka

cek daftar harga said...

agen resmi gasa oil indramayu
obat keputihan pada anak-anak dan remaja
read more
obat oles tahan lama
read more
klik disini
agen oris breast cream

radekocheltree said...

Besides, many Internet casinos present an exciting Live Dealer class. Charities argued at a public hearing last month that permitting tribes to host internet gambling and sports activities betting within the state — a monopoly price millions — could effectively end charitable gambling in North Dakota. Gambling is now not an exercise routinely condemned by government officers who wish to impose moral standards on their communities. In some parts of the nation, gambling has been embraced and promoted as a reliable technique of financial 토토사이트 improvement. In principle, lotteries, racetracks, casinos, and electronic games can fill government coffers with funds to assist worthy government applications.

 
Clicky Web Analytics