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BAHAHAHAHA that is borderline amazing....Christine,<br /><br />BAHAHAHAHA that is borderline amazing. Was this cop also, by any chance, a dentist at some point? Because only dentists can decipher what you are saying with a tool in your mouth. Hioooooo!!Chrisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051536669397543978.post-41921962211401901282009-05-13T14:19:00.000-04:002009-05-13T14:19:00.000-04:00One of my best friends and I have the same birthda...One of my best friends and I have the same birthday. For our sophomore year bday, she gave me an economy pack of condoms. I reciprocated with a stipper, whom I paid in 40's of Colt 45 and had strip out of a Pedro Martinez costume to Ginuwine's Pony. They later borrowed one of my economy pack condoms to bang it out.<br /><br />Who knew a song from the 90's would still be facilitating sexy times almost two decades later?<br /><br /><br />Also, noiseless sex is the most awkward shit ever. But not as awkward as the cop I'm currently banging, who likes to play 20 questions with me while my mouth is otherwise occupied. This past weekend, while giving him my signature move (rooftop blow-jay), he asked me all about my trip to the Kentucky Derby and my grad school classes. Dude, really?Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15787456848134204386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051536669397543978.post-32950779616681078562009-05-13T11:57:00.000-04:002009-05-13T11:57:00.000-04:00Dear Anonymous,
No, that doesn't make you a bad p...Dear Anonymous,<br /><br />No, that doesn't make you a bad person. But if I have sex with you, I hope you won't be offended if I put on some music. Ginuwine - Pony perhaps?Chrisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051536669397543978.post-4523461942773185622009-05-13T11:13:00.000-04:002009-05-13T11:13:00.000-04:00I don't make a lot of noise during sex. Does that...I don't make a lot of noise during sex. Does that make me a bad person?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051536669397543978.post-32670174940064759492009-05-13T10:56:00.000-04:002009-05-13T10:56:00.000-04:00I belive the polite colloquial phrase is "dick hol...I belive the polite colloquial phrase is "dick hole."<br /><br />You're welcome.2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15563301274880396923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051536669397543978.post-46000355044626803972009-05-13T10:51:00.000-04:002009-05-13T10:51:00.000-04:00I'm like a bad sex magnet. When I had my first bl...I'm like a bad sex magnet. When I had my first blow-jay, the blower apparently thought it was uber sexy to essentially shove their tongue down my ... penis opening (it suddenly dawned on me that there is no polite colloquial way to reference the opening of the penis). This literally ended with some yoga-esque move where I managed to get my foot on their shoulder and kick them off after repeated squeals of "owwww, owww, wwww!!" didn't seem to get the point across.<br /><br />Then when I had actual sex-sex for the first them, it was so angry and aggressive I had a massive purple ass-shaped bruise on my stomach from the violent up-down up-down of being ridden too hard. I almost retired my penis then and there.Warrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10556957862143630567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051536669397543978.post-78627740319938565202009-05-13T10:47:00.000-04:002009-05-13T10:47:00.000-04:00I have those same thoughts about how weird the act...I have those same thoughts about how weird the actual act of sex is and try not to analyze it during the act (this is why buzzed sex helps, not drunk sex, just enough to shut the brain down). <br /><br />Also, silent sex sucks. Say that five times fast...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com