Will the real Steven Carrington please stand up?

FIRST THINGS FIRST! T.G.I. Hagman, bitchezzz!!!!1 T.G.I. Hagman.


As of 12:55pm on January 29, 2010, Larry Hagman is...alive! SCORE ONE FOR PLANET EARTH!

Moving on.

I think we can safely file the subject of today's post in the "Only Funny To Me" category, but it's gonna happen anyway. So just go with it. (Which seems to be the theme of this week's blog. First my...unpleasantness, then I introduce you to Aspie's Clip and Weekend Hair. God bless all of your tolerant hearts.)

So, Alex gchatted me this morning in a bit of a tizzy:

Alex: MEG

MEG

MEG

me: alex

Alex: I need you to hold me

me: OK!!!!

what's going on?

Alex: Meg

the actor who played Steven Carrington on Dynasty
me: don't

don't

don't you dare say it

Alex: plays Noah Bennet on Heroes

me: OH.

Alex: no he's not dead
I'm completely blown away

me: the original steven carrington? or post-oil-accident steven carrington?

Alex: original
how did I not know this?

I just

can't

ugh

how did this get by me?

So I did some research.



Considering my job is essentially to sit here alone (god willing) for eight hours, watching reruns of Dynasty while I fantasize about my Jack Daniel's pajama pants, I pointed out that that's actually post-oil-accident-baby-stealing Steven Carrington, played by Jack Coleman and not pre-oil-accident-flagrant-homosexual Steven Carrington, played by the great Al Corley.



(NOT)




This sent Alex further into an emotional tailspin, but it also got me doing some heavy Al Corley research. And let me just say: time well spent. Here's what I found:

1.) Al Corley isn't gay; he's married with three kids. That's shocking.
2.) His wife's name is Jessika Cardinahl, which is the most unnecessarily complicated spelling of Jessica Cardinal on the planet.
3.) Father Time was not good to Al Corley:

4.) Al Corley released a 1984 electro-pop single called "Square Rooms," which hit #1 in France, #6 in Switzerland, #12 in Italy, #13 in Germany and #15 in Italy (so you know it's good.)
5.) This was the cover:

...I would like to go back in time and instead of doing my favorite designer paper for Graphic Design History on Fred Woodward, do it on whoever the fuck designed that. Because oh my guh. It's such a simple image, and yet I can't pick which part is my favorite. I think it's a tie between the queer little pennant with AL CORLEY on it (ps: my only weekend plans are the following: go to Michael's; purchase felt; purchase rod; purchase puffy paint; make an AL CORLEY pennant; go to a sporting event; and wave that pennant with pride) or the god awful expression on Mr. Corley's face. Seriously? Of all the shots taken at the photo shoot, that's the one they went with? It looks like a still from a slightly homoerotic eye exam.
6.) THERE'S A MUSIC VIDEO. AND THAT MUSIC VIDEO IS ONLINE AND AVAILABLE FOR FOR YOU TO VIEW. And it is good. I've seriously been watching it on repeat for the past two hours and I honestly think I'm a better person for it. I'm praying to the sweet gods above that Square Rooms is available on iTunes because it would make a mean strut to work jam.

Fully aware that this is probably only funny to me (and Alex) (maybe. His interest seems to be dwindling,) I present to you the return of Drinking Game Friday: Al Corley Square Rooms Music Video Edition!

Al Corley - Square Rooms (80's)
Uploaded by bebepanda. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Rules:
Drink When:
- There's a shot of the eiffel tower
- Someone slides a modest taupe shoe on
- A shot is recycled to save money
- Paris is gay
- Al Corley sings while disinterestedly squinting into the sun
- Al Corley wears lip gloss (DRUNK.)
- Al Corley violently beats two drums while forcefully swaying his genitals back and forth
- DANCE SEQUENCE! DANCE SEQUENCE! DANCE SEQUENCE!
- Al old woman gets a patted on the bottom to the beat of said violent drum beating
- Al Corley robotically kisses a woman on the mouth because he knows in his heart of hearts Meg's right and he's gay
- You don't understand what the three disappearing bushes are supposed to symbolize
- Somebody looks like they're having a baby and/or an abortion while sitting in a chair. A chabortiony, if you will.
- A square room doesn't listen or care, if a man is in despair

Ok. Well that was fun. For me. As per usual, thanks for reading, following us on Twitter, joining our facebook page and such and such. Have yourself a great weekend and remember—for every friend that you recommend this blog to, Al Corley shoots up one more spot on the Italian pop charts. Buh-bye.

(PS: I leave you with a bonus video! Al Corley's follow up hit—Cold Dresses! And you're welcome.)

Al Corley - Cold Dresses
Uploaded by val6210. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Weekend at Drinking Game Friday's

TGIDGF you guys...TGIDGF in a big, big way. This week has been torturous. I thought every day this week was Thursday. But it wasn't. It was other days of the week that are not nearly as close in proximity to the weekend. Sigh...BUT! I have good news: the 2b1b promotional stickers that I owe a fair portion of you finally arrived in my fair District yesterday! Sorry for the delay in sending them out. I'm what they call, "not wealthy" (but you're Jewish! I know, I know...) and thus could only afford the cheapest production time and delivery options available. Specifically, I chose the "print these whenevs you have time" turnaround rate and the "old man on Jazzy Scooter" delivery option. But! They're real. They're here. Expect 'em next week sometime!

And In case you haven't heard, we're having a blog promotion*! If you go here and here, vote for us, send a screenshot and your address to meg@2birds1blog.com, I'll send you stickers and a handwritten note as a token of my gratitude!

*Promotion = shameless bribe.

Now, onto what you all really came here for; this week's drinking game! I'm not going to lie; I am RULL excited about this one. I've been in the mood to watch Weekend at Bernie's ever since I suggested you all "Lomax" your dead relatives to give me more votes last week. Plus, W@B's is just such a classic summer movie. It makes me want to get a perm and a speedboat, go to the beach and see what hilarious hijinx I'll get myself into. Growing up, W@B's was one of my and Becca's favorite movies to watch. I think we've seen it about 500 times and can quote not only complete scenes, but can also the vintage '80's previews before the movie (specifically for Quantum Leap, the Jim Belushi movie and a PSA about drugs where a chick dives into an empty swimming pool.) Some little kids have Bambi, Becca and I had Weekend at Bernie's. (Which may explain both of us slightly more.)

Thus, it's a privilege and an honor to give you The Weekend at Bernie's Drinking Game!

(FYI: The entire movie is on youtube in 9 chapters, located here. You're welcome.)

Rules:
Drink When:
- Someone says the name of a New York City beach (i.e. "We could always go to Coney Island and watch the fish disintegrate")
- Someone complains about the heat
- Someone hits on Gwen
- Anyone says "Lomax"
- Andrew McCarthy smokes a cigarette
- It's obvious that someone just did coke
- Richard stutters
- HOUSE PARTY!
- A bottle of champagne is popped (or you hear the sound of a bottle of champagne being popped)
- For ever fabulous '80's string bikini worn (i.e. Tawny's)
- Richard and Larry drag Bernie somewhere
- Bernie falls off the deck (or is pushed off)
- Someone has sex with a dead person
- Someone says they should call the cops or are going to call the cops
- Someone posthumously plays a board game
- Paulie kills Bernie
- Paulie kills Bernie again
- And again
- Richard lies to Gwen
- "He buried all of Bernie!"
- Bernie's head smashes into something (i.e. deck planks, bowie markers buoy markers etc.)
- There's a chase scene with golf carts
- And finally, just chug during the speed boat scene. Why? Because HIJINX, HIJINX, HIJINX!

Thank you so much for reading, forwarding to your friends, voting and voting and facebooking and Twittering and JEEZ you guys are good to us. And thanks for that! Have a great weekend and we'll see you bright and early Monday morning!