Rules
Drink when:
- You walk into work, heart pounding, palms sweating, like you're about to break up with someone
- Tasks you would never normally do seem inexplicably important to complete before you talk to your boss about quitting
- You consult with a friend about how you should quit
- You text a friend "I'M NERVOUS"
- You remind yourself of all the things that piss you off about your job to give you the adrenaline needed to confront your boss
- You inevitably fumble your well-planned quitting speech
- Every time you say "um"
- Every time you say "I'm so sorry"
- Your boss tells you that he just doesn't know how he's going to fill these shifts
- Every time you compromise your schedule and agree to work on days you clearly can't work because you feel guilty
- You justify working more shifts (even though you promised yourself you wouldn't) because this means you'll be making more money
- You realize that you'll be working during Inauguration weekend/day/week and it will be hell on earth not worth all the tea in China
- You suddenly adopt a "fuck this noise" attitude, walk out mid-shift and go to Cosi's to get a slammin' bowl of soup and spend the rest of the day catnapping
...See you all Monday morning when hopefully I'll be an ex-bartender and full-time young professional again...
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