“Yeah we in luck down in the muck”

This week's drinking game is DISNEYS THE LITTLE MERMAID. Combining drinking and childhood memories is always quality.

The Little Mermaid came out during "that time" of my childhood. I was aware of what was going on but young enough everything was still magical. When I saw the redhead (who in my 5 year old way wanted to bone) screw legs I wanted to swim all day.

I was a bit of a ham as a child and for that Christmas (oh CHRISTMAS of 1989 you were the best ever; I got this pimp microphone with flashing lights and a baby sister!)

I ran around the house with my awesome microphone—which was not an easy because it had a large stand where said flashing lights were located-- singing Little Mermaid Songs as loud as I could. Only I would wear my bathing while I performed around the house even in cold Western New York because DUH I was a mermaid! And unlike all these little girls now a green bathing suit was a quality replacement for fins.

Uncreative little ho, she does not know what it is like to wear a bathing suit in winter for the sake of performance.

In honor of The Little Mermaid's famous jugs olden and I made and enjoyed some awesome nipple cupcakes.

On to the movie!

Take a sip…

Before every song to lubricate the vocal cords. SING ALONG!

When a parent/chaperone reprimands a child. (Stupid mermaid parents on land yell at their kids too)

Clothes mysteriously appear / disappear with transformations from human to merperson.

When Scuttle uses the awesome power of BSing with confidence

Anyone gives a convenient recap of information.

When something your 1989 self would not find sexual all of a sudden is sexual. (or racist)

Take two sips…

Every time the "Ariel's theme" is sung either by Ariel or the imposter

When someone dies/has a near death experience

Finish your drink

There is a happy ending

This game will bring out the kid in you. Get ready for some GREAT childhood stories from friends.

I wish I could quit you,
Eddie

Stuff that Turkey

Today’s drinking game is brought to you by a special little underage lady, my friend Golden. (No I do not spend my time trolling for underage girls in parks offering rides for candy. Golden has graduated college and has a legit job, she just on the young side.)

One night I was one of those ‘bad’ friends and left her in a hotel while I went out to the bars. Golden joined forces with a co-worker and stayed in the hotel drinking. In a tipsy state Golden created The Food Network Drinking game. [Golden’s Edits: due solely to said co-worker's love of cooking, because Golden actually loathes the Food Network with the fiery passion of a thousand suns and wishes Rachel Ray would die a horrible, slow death. Get the fuck off my box of Triscuits, you crazy bitch!]

I can not attest to the quality of this game, for I was out wasting time and money. But when I returned to my hotel golden was giddy and obviously under the influence. With turkey day fast approaching, and as Americans turn their minds to food this is the perfect time to play. Feel free to play while your family members yell at each other. Or, if you come from one of those families gather everyone around the TV and play together.

Take a sip (of your expensive California wine…or in golden’s case Smirnoff Ice)
*When anyone with an accent speaks
* When a catch phrase is used
* Every time the title of the show is sung, spoken, or shown
* When measurements are given in immeasurable methods (such as a dash, a pinch, to taste)
* When the shows theme centers on an upcoming holiday
*Any time an onomatopoeia is used- IE the infamous "BAM!"

Finish your drinking
*Every time you see Rachel Ray (this rule can be amended for shows staring her…)
Golden’s Optional Rule: Hit your drinking mate with a pillow anytime a show staring Rachel starts. Yes, I know the rage that her annoying, shiny face induces. Just don't spill any booze in the process of releasing your anger. Wasted alcohol is not acceptable.
* When a shows theme is centered on a past holiday
* Whenever Neil Patrick Harris' full name is used

[Golden's Note- this game was born of a very specific show called Dinner Impossible, in which Neil Patrick Harris randomly guest starred as a sous chef, and I found that hilarious. How could you not laugh at Doogie in a kitchen, trying to make mango paste look like cheese? If you're really compelled to see this, the episode was called the Magician's Meal... or something.]

Wash your hands and double dare everyone in the room to take a shot
*When Mark Summers is on TV

Drink up Bitches

I wish I could quit you,
Eddie