My career is on a toboggan run of failure at the moment...

A you all know the 2 birds do not enjoy their jobs. Yesterday they decided to compile a list of things they would rather be doing than working for THE MAN (or in their cases, bitchy old ladies who can't get laid)

Eat, Drink, Be Marry

Dancing to the song currently on Pandora

Going to a lame wedding that has no open bar

Going to a Paper wedding

Making a mimosa

Doing shots of cheap vodka

Attending a poison concert

Attending a Dave Mathews Band concert

Country line dancing
(Specifically cotton-eyed-jo-ing or boot scootin’ boogies)

Attending a baby or wedding shower

I want your sex

Fucking a hot girl/guy*

Cuddling with a hot girl/guy*

Cooking for a hot girl/guy*

Looking at a picture of a hot girl/guy*

Shaving our own person

Shaving another person

Watching Amish porn

Em-barr- assed

Buying condoms for a friend

Buying yeast infection cream

Going to the OBGYN

Bathing suit shopping

Coming out to family members

Personal and Home Grooming

Cleaning up my apartment for the HOPE of a hot person coming over

Getting corn-rows

Folding laundry

Plucking your eyebrows

Windexing bookshelves

Alphabetizing DVD's


Talking to junkies

Sitting in on history 101 at a community college

Re-living middle school

Wikipedia the entire cast of Saved by the Bell

Going to intensive French camp

Running AA meetings (big book)

Let’s Get Physical

Playing badminton

Coaching Tee Ball

Going to a high school gym class

Going to field hockey practice

Playing floor hockey (with goggles and mouth guards)


Standard Activities

Privately pooping



Standing in line at the post office

Sitting in an airport with a latte, Vanity Fair, and cell phone.

Watching infomercials

Going to church

Look mom!

Modge podging something to something else.

Making a Sand Sculpture

Joining a Sorority

Tie-dying t-shirts

Teaching elementary school art

* A mediocre male/female will do.

Fess up 90% of you hate your jobs, so what would you rather be doing right now?

La Croix sweetie, La Croix,

The 2birds

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