One of the several highlights of the trip (if you ask me) was a wedding we attended. Chris’ cousin had her union, in front of god and the state, in
I was quite convincing as a hetro girlfriend and earned my place in history as one of the best beards ever!
Scene: Eddie is 2 bottles of champagne and 2 glasses of wine in, they are at the dinner of a small wedding reception. Only two children are present at this wedding, Chris and Eddie are seated at their table. The young flower girl comes up to Eddie.
Flower Girl: Did you know Chris is a Lesbian.
(Chris looks at me, gets up out of his chair and walks away, I think he said something like “this is a can of worms I am leaving” or that’s what I read in his eyes.)
Eddie: Chris is not a lesbian because he is a boy.
Flower Girl: Yes he is a lesbian! A lesbian is someone who likes girls!
Eddie: No, A lesbian is a girl who falls in love with girls. A boy who likes girls is called a heterosexual…Chris is a heterosexual.
Flower Girl: I’m confused (small child walks away)
That’s right, I told family members Chris was heterosexual. To top it off when I was tipsy I would tenderly grab Chris arm and coon “sweetie, darling, hun please get mama another glass of wine.” I also leaned in close several times to make a gay joke, to everyone else in the room it looked like I was whispering sweet nothings in his ear. If there really was an award for best beard the show I put on would AT LEAST be nominated.
I wish I could quit you,