Wow...2birds 1blog...this place takes me back (cue music: "this used to be my playground...") Posting here again I have the same feeling you get when you run into an ex: you're heart is racing; you're reminded of the good times; you can't remember the bad and suddenly you can't understand why you left in the first place!
BLOG, TAKE ME BACK! I know I ignored you and got a job at another blog, BUT I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU THE WHOLE TIME! Blog, I want to make amends with my cheatin' ways and come back. I'll be a better blogger and give you the time and dedication you deserve! Let me explain why I skipped town and never sent child-support:
- I quit my job and moved out of my apartment in Brooklyn with Serena and Blair. I now live in the suburbs of Washington, DC in my parents house. Come on blog! Think about how many hilarious stories will result from that odd-couple living situation!
- I got mono (but didn't lose any weight, wtfuck?) and spent the past month in my parent's basement curled up in the fetal position wondering why God cursed me with a virus that severely limits your alcohol intake for months at a time (it's the Meek's voodoo...I just know it...) But blog, don't you see?! This means that I have month's worth of partying, shenanigans and misadventures built up in my system that I am now going to unleash upon our nation's capitol! (Hm. That sounds messy and horrifying.) Blog, I want you to be the first person I tell about those misadventures. The first person I tell when I have sex with a guy who's allergic to the fish tranquilizer on his condom. The first person who knows that I have the spare time to analyze the Twenty Male Faces of Facebook. You will always come first, baby! I promise, that from now on I will update you on every day. Monday through Friday starting September 1. Yea, I just made that commitment and sticking by it.
- Now the hard part. Eddie is blogging no more. She's...she's gone to a better place. A place where she can finally be at peace. She's gone to grad school. Her presence will be sorely missed.
Oh blog! You are mine and mine only now, and we're gonna make it! Maybe one day, we'll have our own URL with a white picket fence! Maybe that's already in the works...
Until then, look forward to more rants and shenanigans here at 2birds 1blog. Natty Light drinking bros who won't smile for facebook pictures beware, DC area Meeks take cover, bartenders...stock up. Patsy is back.