4.03.2020

Dude, fuck yesterday

Corona-Log Day #20:

I woke up yesterday at 3:30pm (DON'T JUDGE ME, I HAD TO DO WORK THE NIGHT BEFORE) from a dream where I was back in high school trying to get to my classes, but I couldn't see anything because everything was blurry. This was because, I soon realized, I had somehow managed to fall asleep with both eyeballs directly on top my clenched knuckles, and then proceeded to take a very blurry, very discombobulated speed-shower. I usually perform an elaborate puppet show for my nieces from 4-8ish everyday to earn me keep, and now I was running late. I was also starving, but I figured I'd wake Niece #2 up from her nap before fixing myself a little something-something.

The micro-second I started going upstairs, a giant tree fell across the street, completely knocking down the power lines. No electricity. No internet. Nowhere to go. But more importantly, that meant I couldn't open the fridge to nosh on leftover guac. I did, however, see this as a golden opportunity to take a discreet little puffity-wuffity from the old HeY nOw!1! while the neighborhood watched Dominion Electricity do their thing. And let me tell you; that situation was taken care of with a speed and efficiency I have never seen before in my life. 45-minutes later and we had electricity again. BAM.

I then proceeded to chug a beer on an empty stomach and pass out in the back of my nieces' 5 o'clock Zoom play-date, quite literally ass-up. When it was over, I made my way to bed (not entirely sure where the kids went, looking back) and FaceTimed with Janna, which turned into going down a HeY, HoW bAd Do yA tHiNk thIsS iS gOnNA gEt??? rabbit hole that ended with me hiding under the covers and being kind of weird and not talking to anyone for the rest of the night.

We had take-out tacos for dinner. The kids went to bed, and the adults went to the screened-in porch to chill and watch another episode of McMillions, but the internet was still down, so we just fell asleep right there.

Fin.

I mean............I hear it. I hear the privilege. I realize that none of this sounds that dramatic or impressively bad, but in the moment, losing electricity and the internet felt like the end of the world. I have no time for mundane inconveniences right now. None. I got my period early last week, and was like, "OH, SO NOW I HAVE TO MENSTRUATE ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE!??!?" Menstruating basically just involves standing there. But still.

This is to say I'm in a corona-funk. I'm really anxious and on-edge. I've decided my next post is just going to be a giant list of things that are irrationally annoying me right now, so get ready for that!

Love,

A very frustrated and tired and pissed off and hungry and fat and scared and horny and beautiful and fat and tired Meg
@meg4lyfe

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