Vomitting in the Galley

OK, so the original point of this blog post was to tell you that our galley edits for It Seemed Like a Good Idea... are due tomorrow and I haven't started mine yet (HA HA, me), but first I'd like to address a blog comment and tell you about the intense mini stroke I just had.

First up:
I've gotten a few emails asking me essentially the same thing, so I'm going to answer you all at once out of sheer laziness: yes, I obviously think it's worth it. Which level you sign up for is between you and your God, I think it's more than worth it to be able to listen to their entire backlog. As far as my favorite episode, that's like picking a favorite child. Which I absolutely believe I could do, so my favorite episode is 483: Guns & Roonies. I'm listening to it right now to confirm that it's the episode I'm thinking of, and it still makes me hysterically laugh out loud. Oddly enough, this episode aired on my birthday in 2008, which was also the day of the April 16th Virginia Tech shootings. (I was about to say, "that was a really hard day for me," but then I realized that I didn't get shot in the face on the way to Gender Studies, so...never mind.) I listened to this episode on the subway on my way home from work and spent the majority of the ride trying not to burst into laughter. Like, I had to physically hold my lips together to keep that shit under wraps. I eventually lost it and started unabashedly laughing, thereby making myself look like a completely crazy person. And again, I know that sounds weird because it's the VA Tech shooting episode, but Keith, Chemda, and their guest/friend, Matt Bray, spend the last 45-minutes of the show doing a table read of two of the VA Tech shooter's original plays and it just gets me every single time. Other than that, any episode with Patrice is hilarious. I mean, everything hilarious. Just dive in; you can't go wrong.

OK, so now onto my mini stroke. Tonight was completely lovely. My sister came over and I made us dinner, as cooking is a major part of my plan to start functioning like a normal human being. And, oh, I'm sorry, but I knocked that shit out of the fucking park. Chicken piccata with parmesan-roasted broccolini:

God dammit that's sexy. Plus, I only set off the smoke detector once, which is a personal best!

After my sister left, I felt great. I was proud of the dinner I'd made, I was proud of all the positive changes I've been making recently (true story: when Becca walked in, she actually said, "Hey, one of your blinds is open—making progress!", which makes me sound either like I'm a self-loathing vampire or just incredibly Autistic), and I just felt extremely positive about life in general. Plus I had just smoked a giant bowl and achieved the perfect level of being high, so that didn't hurt anything. Riding said high, I made myself a cup of tea, cut up some apple slices, sat down at my computer and was just like—this is awesome. I'm going to sit here being perfectly high, drinking this delicious tea, eating these delicious apple slices, and copy edit. This is the best night of my life. And it was, until I got this text from my sister:

And I LOST. MY. SHIT. My stomach dropped into my asshole and I actually said, out loud, "FEDERAL AGENTS MAD 'CUZ I'M FLAGRANT!" as I dumped the illegal contents on my coffee table into a Trader Joe's bag and paced back and forth for a good 10-minutes, obsessively re-arranging my ponytail and nervously touching my own breasts while I waited for DEA agents to bust in the door. When that didn't happen, I decided to clarify the situation:

I mean, for the sick love of God. Because now guess who gets to buy me a new pair of yoga pants? You, Rebecca Rowland. Because this soiled pair certainly isn't doing me any favors, thank you. So, that's where I am right now, emotionally. My perfect high is ruined, I'm paranoid, I have a long night of editing ahead of me, and my scalp hurts from tightening my pony tail too many times. That being said, my entire apartment smells like capers and it is delightful.

Alright, work time. Take us out, Keith and the Girl!

A Few Goat Men from Erik Skov on Vimeo.


Reading Wolf said...

Hahahaha. I am sorry you had to go through that heart stopping moment, but the image of you running back and forth is playing in my head...on repeat..and It. Is. Hilarious. Dinner looks nice though.

BrianAlt said...

Congrats on the episode. Nice job.

Jenny said...

Hey Meg, I was just wondering, how involved are you in the cover art for your books? Just because, you know, that's how I judge a book. By its cover.

NotablyNeurotic said...

I occasionally leave comments on your blog, but it's never insightful and it never adds anything to the conversation. But I just have to, in some way, express how funny I find your posts to be. I wish so badly that there was a way to type out the sound of a slow-clap and I wish I could figure out how to spell out the way I end up laughing out loud at my desk because "h"s and "a"s no longer do it justice.

Jamie said...

Let me start by saying that I adore 2b. I read it religious while I am at working doing mundane things and the amount that it improves my mood is sometimes a little bit scary. However, I have to say that the way you mentioned the Virginia Tech shootings in today's post was in very poor taste, even for an intentionally offensive comedy blog. First off, it didn't even happen in 2008, it happened in 2007. I know, semantics, right? Well, not for the people who were there. Second, making a joke out of someone getting shot in the face on their way to a class is incredibly insensitive. I know you never claimed to be sensitive, in fact, many of your jokes are based on your insensitivity and lack of general caring, which are two personality factors that I share with you, but I think you may have gone a little too far with that one. Keep in mind that, as someone who is based in DC, a lot of your readers are probably mid-20s Virginia Tech graduates. That puts us all in the age range of being on campus when the shootings occurred. The shooter's original plays were about killing people and awful things, all of which we had to relive over and over again on the news, the whole time thinking of our classmates who were getting "shot in the face on their way to Gender Studies." Maybe even Meg McBlogger can occasionally go a little too far.

Anonymous said...

shit now I feel real guilty for laughing

chris said...

I don't. VA tech affected a whole country, just like Columbine, and they both were a long time ago. She wasn't making jokes about the dead, just how she was dealing with the tragedy. Everyone deals differently. Laughter is a pretty widely recognized and effective way of dealing with things.

Anonymous said...

Hey Meg! Just wanted to drop in and say that I'm reading Brainwashing and it's REALLY FUNNY! Not going to lie, you were so self-deprecating about it that I was wary to read it, but I love it! I'll write a review when I'm done, even!

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broccolini!?! you betta do it girlfrand! in other news please listen to the new young jeezy song called all we do (is smoke and fuck) its amazing... kthxbye!

me said...

My comment's directed at the VA Tech commenter above me. What happened that day was horrible--it sucks that you ever had to go through that and remember how horrible it was to this day. That being said, you're just not that special. Comedians, including Meg, make jokes about traumatic events all the time--9/11, rape, cancer, etc. Do some jokes hit a little too close to home? Sure. That doesn't mean she went too far. People have their own way of expressing grief and working through shit, and you can't expect them to censor themselves just because it might make some readers uncomfortable. If she did that she might have nothing to talk about. Just accept that this wasn't your favorite post and wait for the next one.

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I don't think Meg was trying to make VA Tech into a hilarious non-tragedy. I don't think she feels that way and I don't think comedians ever aim to make an actual tragedy seem funny. They try to make people laugh about upsetting stuff we can't control as a way to heel. Not everyone deals with stuff this way or understands this and this post clearly hit close to home for Jamie. But if Meg avoided any topic that could be upsetting for 20 somethings in the DC area then it would be pretty hard to write. Is making fun of domestic violence ok then? Is that a light-hearted issue that doesn't require sensitivity? What about suicide or substance abuse or cancer? Are those not upsetting things people suffer from? The trouble is that when we try to dictate what is "sensitive" we usually only pick what is sensitive to us and leave everyone else out in the cold...

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Anonymous said...

RE: VTech shooting...Meg, the post was pretty funny. I think she knows that getting shot in the face isn't. Its why she said she realized that day wasn't all that bad for her, after all. Bad shit happens to all of us, and it always sucks. It may never make good fodder for comedy to us, personally - but that doesn't mean its off limits. Like previous posters said...domestic violence, etc aren't actually funny. Comedian's bits about them sometimes are - and they get us talking, and help some of us heal. In a way, I'd say that's a way better use of someone's comedic genius than talking about farts and boobs all day.

King said...

Fuck yeah Suck yeah, loved the show guys

Anonymous said...

I went to VA Tech, was there, and am not offended. But I will say it happened in 2007, not 2008.

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