A Complete List of Things That Make Me Nauseous, by Meghan Rowland

- Riding in cars backwards

- Riding on trains backwards

- Not riding on the metro backwards (it can’t be explained it)

- My dad’s “city driving”

- My “I’m late driving”

- Driving on winding roads

- Driving on hilly roads

- Boats, slow-moving

- Boats, speed, driving over another boat’s wake

- Standing on a dock for 20-minutes+

- Bicycling over cobblestones

- Watching moves in the first 10 rows of a movie theater

- Watching movies in 3D

- Watching movies in RealD

- 99.9% of all amusement park rides and attractions

- Airplane turbulence

- Cars with plastic interior

- Cars with velvet interior

- Gym, arc trainer, 60-minutes+

- Gym, ERG machines, 0-minutes+

- Gym, elliptical machine, if not looking at the horizon

- Gym, elliptical machine, watching mounted TV screen

- Gym, reading

- Gym, writing

- Heights

- First dates

- Lobster rolls

- Crab Rangoon

- Burritos

- DiGiorno pizza

- Jelly beans

- Maple syrup

- Flavored lattes

- Raspberry Zinger tea

- Bubble Tea

- MiO Liquid Water Enhancer

- Splenda

- Percocet

- Blood

- Images or video footage of surgery

- Highlighters in any color other than yellow

- Waterbeds

- Swings, sets

- Swings, tire

- Swings, seesaw

- Slides, twisting

- Slides, 45-degree angle+

- Slides, water

- Men with long fingernails

- Alcohol, vodka

- Alcohol, gin

- Alcohol, whiskey

- Alcohol, Jagermeister (it was inevitable)

- Alcohol, mimosas (my new campaign: Mimosas—there should be a bottom)

- Alcohol, Disaronno (I discovered one night in college that it tastes like a liquid almond croissant and there was an incident)

- Beer, Blue Moon

- Beer, Chimay

- Reading while moving. Period.

- Loud patterns

- The scrolling feature on Netflix’s homepage

- Watching The Deadliest Catch on a TV screen larger than 20”

- Vanilla-scented perfumes

- The major motion picture The Killing Fields

- Snorkeling

- Trampolines

- Magic Eye posters (1994 was a long year)

- Ski lifts

- Dairy

- When the metro stops and you look out the window and think you’ve started moving again, but it’s just the train adjacent to you moving and you realize you’re still stopped

- Heat

- Confrontation

- The smell of Bumble & Bumble thickening shampoo and conditioner

- Pogo sticks

- Moon shoes (Seriously, eff 1994)

- Certain anti-inflammatory medication

- Planetariums

- The Guggenheim

- Dance, Dance Revolution

- Taylor Gourmet’s website

- Ferris wheels

- Corn mazes

- Doing a swimmer’s turn

- Peanuts

- Making this list