4.25.2012

A Complete List of Things That Make Me Nauseous, by Meghan Rowland

- Riding in cars backwards
- Riding on trains backwards
- Not riding on the metro backwards (it can’t be explained it)
- My dad’s “city driving”
- My “I’m late driving”
- Driving on winding roads
- Driving on hilly roads
- Boats, slow-moving
- Boats, speed, driving over another boat’s wake
- Standing on a dock for 20-minutes+
- Bicycling over cobblestones
- Watching moves in the first 10 rows of a movie theater
- Watching movies in 3D
- Watching movies in RealD
- 99.9% of all amusement park rides and attractions
- Airplane turbulence
- Cars with plastic interior
- Cars with velvet interior
- Gym, arc trainer, 60-minutes+
- Gym, ERG machines, 0-minutes+
- Gym, elliptical machine, if not looking at the horizon
- Gym, elliptical machine, watching mounted TV screen
- Gym, reading
- Gym, writing
- Heights
- First dates
- Lobster rolls
- Crab Rangoon
- Burritos
- DiGiorno pizza
- Jelly beans
- Maple syrup
- Flavored lattes
- Raspberry Zinger tea
- Bubble Tea
- MiO Liquid Water Enhancer
- Splenda
- Percocet
- Blood
- Images or video footage of surgery
- Highlighters in any color other than yellow
- Waterbeds
- Swings, sets
- Swings, tire
- Swings, seesaw
- Slides, twisting
- Slides, 45-degree angle+
- Slides, water
- Men with long fingernails
- Alcohol, vodka
- Alcohol, gin
- Alcohol, whiskey
- Alcohol, Jagermeister (it was inevitable)
- Alcohol, mimosas (my new campaign: Mimosas—there should be a bottom)
- Alcohol, Disaronno (I discovered one night in college that it tastes like a liquid almond croissant and there was an incident)
- Beer, Blue Moon
- Beer, Chimay
- Reading while moving. Period.
- Loud patterns
- The scrolling feature on Netflix’s homepage
- Watching The Deadliest Catch on a TV screen larger than 20”
- Vanilla-scented perfumes
- The major motion picture The Killing Fields
- Snorkeling
- Trampolines
- Magic Eye posters (1994 was a long year)
- Ski lifts
- Dairy
- When the metro stops and you look out the window and think you’ve started moving again, but it’s just the train adjacent to you moving and you realize you’re still stopped
- Heat
- Confrontation
- The smell of Bumble & Bumble thickening shampoo and conditioner
- Pogo sticks
- Moon shoes (Seriously, eff 1994)
- Certain anti-inflammatory medication
- Planetariums
- The Guggenheim
- Dance, Dance Revolution
- Taylor Gourmet’s website
- Ferris wheels
- Corn mazes
- Doing a swimmer’s turn
- Peanuts
- Making this list

17 comments:

Daniel said...

How about watching me vomit (a regular happening)?

emmypoo said...

Dude. I thought I was the only one with the highlighter thing. I'm so glad you're back.

Laura said...

What about popcorn? I don't think you realize how often I think about offering you popcorn and have to remind myself you don't like it. It actually happens a lot. I need to research other snack foods...

Anonymous said...

Haha I agree with so much of this!

The Genius Savant said...

I also use only yellow highlighters and get highly irritated by any other highlighter colors.

Lauren said...

Out of all of these, I would agree most with "men with long fingernails" as my number 1 vomit-inducing thing. Seriously, cut your fucking nails. Guys should not have long nails. The only thing more disgusting is guys with long toenails.

Francesca said...

That list was way longer than i thought it was going to be! are you okay RIGHT NOW?

Noodel said...

How about adding the Kardashians?

Anonymous said...

Preach.

Maggie said...

Glad to know I'm not the only weirdo. Purple crayons make me nauseous, which NO ONE UNDERSTANDS.

kerry a. said...

I'm guessing you weren't into Skip-it.

kerry a. said...

I'm guessing you weren't into Skip-it.

Rachel said...

I would like to at Rumors to that list. As well as Trishelle the Trashcan. AND finagling 6 other people to switch rooms two days before Winter break. That whole process and our cleverness still makes me sick.

Katie said...

#1. as a swimmer, i think it's cute you called it a "swimmer's turn" and not a flip turn.
#2. vanilla scented perfume! UGH! this lady at work makes the WHOLE BUILDING smell of it. i was convinced it was a candle that's how bad it was. WASH YO SELF woman!

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Daniel said...
How about watching me vomit (a regular happening)?
It's amazing. I never tire of it. Hell, I might miss it!


Laura said...
What about popcorn? I don't think you realize how often I think about offering you popcorn and have to remind myself you don't like it. It actually happens a lot. I need to research other snack foods...

FUCK. YES. POPCORN!

Noodel said...
How about adding the Kardashians?

I see where you're coming from, but I love Khloe & Lamar too much. Lam Lam, if you will. And I assume you won't.

Katie said...
#1. as a swimmer, i think it's cute you called it a "swimmer's turn" and not a flip turn.

But I'm a swimmer! We called them swimmer's turns. Maybe it's a regional thing?

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