Ya Shosla S Uma

I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the faux lesbian pop group t.A.T.u.

I first heard about their awesome Russian popness in 2002. The bad and goodness of their pounding techno beats were astounding. The pop duo became a big joke between my high school friends. It was a simple time when you could download music without paying I filled my family computer t.A.T.u. Russian gayness.

Longing for words I actually knew I pre-ordered English album on Amazon. The brown unassuming package arrived at my door on the day the album was released in the U.S. It was a rough day; I was home ill from school but decided to go to school anyway in a delirious fever state to show off the album. My AP Government teacher saw the album on my desk and lifted it up “What is this?” he asked inspecting the homoerotic packaging.

I responded the best way I could, “Fake lesbian Russian dance pop.” My friend sitting next to me was trying to hold in a chuckle.

He shook his head and said “Only you Eddie, only you.”

All of us thought we were the only ones in the USA who knew about t.A.T.u. Our world changed when a good friend first heard “All the things She Said” on the radio. So excited/baffled/at a loss she almost ran her car into a ditch. She ran into the house with the car still turned on and running. This was before cell phones (gasp) and she had to get into the house to call us. It was a joyous and sad moment that we never really recovered from. Our innocence was shattered and our dreams were corrupted. Nothing would be the same, the world was in on the t.A.T.u joke. At first we thought this new found fame would help us, but when the DJ at prom refused to play “All the Things She Said” (and had no clue what we were talking about) my friend and I acted out the music video on the dance floor.

I still own that album every time I hear it play-more then I would like to admit- I am taken back to that magical time in 2002-2003 when fake Russian lesbians ruled our little Western New York high school world.

Yesterday my innocent t.A.T.u world crashed once again, I found out there is a MOVIE ABOUT t.A.T.u PREMIERING AT CANNES. The movie is based on a book that has no English translation I can find (yet) but I am going to track it down if it takes me a lifetime. The movie has Miscah Barton (in her third lesbian positive role), a meat factory, t.A.T.u, drugs, murder, lesbian love, and what will soon be my new favorite line “Fuck everything, except t.A.T.u.”

So, who will be with me opening day? I decided I am going to dress up like it is 2002 and sing every song.
I wish I could quit you,

Eddie