La-la-la-la I don’t hear you

Dear drunk guy on the street who called me a hooker at 4pm on a Tuesday,

You have problems that were clear. Anyone working on his second 40 oz in the middle of the day, standing outside in the winter with a friend under a bridge commenting on every passerby has a few issues. If you ask me you should get your eyes checked.

I know sex workers in this city do not look like the “typical” ladies of the night. I just don’t understand how my pony tail, a winter hat, arm warmers, black pea coat, winter boots, and black dress pants looked like I feel into the sex worker category. You even went one step further and asked me how much I would cost…instead of wittily replying I ignored you. For me not to respond took personal restraint, I was proud of myself.

The issue is deeper than you drunk sir, it is a growing problem in this overly friendly and small “city”. See no one taught you people that normal individuals do not talk to strangers. Starting a conversation with someone on the street has no point and can only lead to danger. Yet you appear to think starting a conversation with a young woman walking alone at night is a wise choice. You people have also decided someone wearing headphones is a minor to conversation deterrence, and that they must secretly want to chat. Day after day someone tries to strike up a conversation with me while I am wearing my ipod. STOP!

In conclusion I am not a sex worker, and if you don’t know me, don’t talk to me. If you try to start a conversation with me I will ignore you. Yes, I am being rude but it is my way of forcing you people to grow up.

From your neighbor who was raised not only on the East Coast but also in the era of fear and “stranger danger,”


Anonymous said...

Here in Berkeley, I try never to leave the house without conspicuous headphones, and yet people will persist in trying to talk to me. I mostly just shake my head and mumble all-purpose demurrals, often before my interlocutor actually says anything. The problem is that about 5% of the time this really pisses someone off, and he starts shouting at me, which makes me really uncomfortable.

I think the problem is that I'm a total milquetoast and look it.

Anonymous said...

There's a post back in the KE archive somewhere about my solution to this same problem, which is to wear very large headphones. Earmuff-size headphones. With noise isolation. That way nobody can possibly miss the fact that you're wearing them, and if they try to talk to you anyway, you don't hear them. Also, wear sunglasses, so nobody can ever tell if you make eye contact with them. A lot of people take eye contact as some sort of invitation to bother you.

The other part of my strategy is to wear an expression that says, "I may just bite you in the face if you bother me."

Anonymous said...

I would like to point out that this is the second time you've been solicited for sex by someone thinking you were a prostitue. Really Eddie, that "I'M A SEX WORKER!" tattoo on your forhead was a bad call. Spring Break can be fun, but also a prime time for irrisponsibility.

xoxo P

Anonymous said...

is it more common for people on the west coast to just start up conversations with strangers? here, i think i've only been asked for spare change by some bums. kerry, however is often asked by strangers if he can hook them up with weed and/or prostitutes.

miss you. sorry to hear you won't be visiting your grandparents this holiday season.

-la jaconde

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Chris- At least some friendliness is understandable in an academic community. You and I will change the west coast one person at a time!

Michael- But big headphones are so clunky… I try to look as bitchy as possible and to even sneer at people if eye contact occurs, but these Pacific Northwest peoples are persistent and conversation. Perhaps I should embroider the phrase I WILL EAT YOUR FAMILY IF YOU TALK TO ME onto my jacket.

La jaconde- Kerry and I need to go into business; from the sound of things if we started in an illegal trade our looks alone could make the big bucks!


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