Fifth Annual Birthday Ode to Anna M. Hugo:
I can’t believe it’s been a year since my last birthday rhyme,
But to not reflect on the past 12 months would be a sick, shmeless crime:
In May we graduated and threw our caps in the air,
And off to Europe we went, where we didn’t have a care.
Ice trains, hostels, Stifler and in Switzerland we were hung,
Luigi, Negronis, weed shoes, oh I’m enshuldigung!
But in June we sadly returned to the land of stars and stripes,
Where we spent the next 2 months job-hunting…fuck me, cripes.
We went a little bit crazy while we lived at home and looked for work,
Need I mention we spent an entire day looking for ghosts who lurk?
But late July brought good news—we both got hired!
(Who knew six months in we’d pray to get fired?)
In August we parted as I headed off to the city that never sleeps,
September was spent missing you heaps and heaps!
October brought a reunion for Jill’s 22nd, that surprise in the shower was a bit flubbed,
Things only got more unique, considering we went to Fur Nightclub.
November was yummy with reunions; no food went to waste
December you and Jill came to visit and we all got punched in the face.
January you moved into your sick apartment, that Bethesda dreamboat is phat!
February we were officially dying at our jobs; sustaining life on gchat.
March things got a little rocky, but for me you were always there,
In April you threw me a surprise party and I literally puked at how much you care! (slash I drank a lot)
So that brings us back to >May>, you’ve aged a year more,
I can’t wait to see what the next 12 months has in store!
I hope your day is as great as you are…I guess you’re kinda rad,
But it wouldn’t be your birthday, if I didn’t remind you I fucked your dad.
I hope you enjoyed this ode, just for you it was writ
Best Friends Forever—ever heard of it?