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3 (Self-Serving) Things:

1.) Guess what?! It's that time of the year again when I harass you to vote for us for best blog/blogger for Washington City Paper's Best of DC awards! Although, I'm going to be real honest: I'm not going to push for it this year. I'm aware that we didn't post nearly enough in 2011 to warrant my typical obnoxiousness, so I'm just going to say that if you'd like to vote for us for best blog/blogger, you may do so here (People & Places), and I thank you. 

2.) I am, however, going to obnoxiously push for Best DC Twitter. (@2birds1blog) Why? Because:

DAMMIT. Why hasn't the Internet made a gif of the woman saying "I want that", re: the free mini sailboat with the 24-piece set from Napoleon Dynamite yet?? Fuck. Youtube videos never work as well, but, because:


Well, that didn't work. And it's the wrong size. I want it, OK? That's why. I'm aware that DC is a town of movers and shakers (and candlestick makers) (Meg, please), and typically, the people who win Best Twitter are city councilmen, activists, and people generally "in the know" who actually tweet informative things about the District, and respect knuckles all around, but come on! I tweeted a picture of myself in an exam gown at the gynecologist's office because I was surprised how good I looked in salmon!
Would Vincent Gray do that? I think not. (And Lord knows that man could pull off a coral, blush, or peach if he wanted to and, frankly, I dare him to try.) But I argue that tweet is informative and DC-based! a.) Salmon: who knew? Now you do. You're welcome, and b.) Dr. Stephen J. Horowitz is located at 2141 K street, God bless his heart! Does Eleanor Holmes Norton tweet a disturbing number of photos of her parents' aggressive show cat? Not to my knowledge. But guess who does? This guy.
So, that's pretty much my entire argument for why I think you should vote for me for Best DC Twitter account. Because I'm a narcissistic cat lady with paradoxically low self-esteem and awards make me feel better about myself/my horrible life choices. VOTE FOR ME! Like last year, if I win, I'd be proud to take one of you fine readers as my hot date to the WCP Best Of party. I don't really know how we'll pick this year. Email me, or pick/nominate amongst yourselves. I don't really know how that would work, but you guys seem to always be infinitely more on the ball than I am, so go with God! Polls close March 1st.

3.) Speaking of calendar dates and not being on the ball, next Tuesday is Valentine's Day! What better way to say "thank you for being a friend" you "motherfucker", than with a 2birds1blog Dr. Dre/Eminem "What's the Difference?" Valentine's Day card???? Devotees will remember that I made these cards last year to send to my friends, immediately felt awkward because not everyone knows obscure Chronic 2001 lyrics off the top of their heads, oh waityes they do, and they were a total hit. Now you can buy a pack of six A7 (5" x 7") flat cards with six red A7 envelopes for the completely reasonable price of $12, plus a flat $2 shipping fee. Each shipment comes with a free 2birds1blog sticker and a little love note from yours truly. HOLLER! Considering I just got my Internet turned back on yesterday, I didn't have a ton of money to front for supplies and I might get sued by Interscope/Aftermath Records, so these are extremely limited edition. Act fast. But like, REAL fast.

OK, well I have a night of printing ahead of me because I want to make sure these are DTF for tomorrow morning (or right now, if you will), so I'm going to cut this obnoxiously short. Vote, vote, vote! Tweet, tweet, tweet!

49 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you win, you have to take Mike with you. Please. I'd nominate myself but I live in the UK so.
And yes, you look HOT in salmon.

Anonymous said...

If you win I nominate Mike to go with you. Not asshole commenter Mike, Mike who said he'd sham marry you for insurance.

Em said...

A. That line from Napoleon Dynamite is one of my all-time favorites. I use it all the time.
B. I totes went to the Up In Smoke concert, circa 2000.

We might be kindred spirits...

kerri said...

just ordered these cards, how could I not.

can't wait to give one to my mom.

Anonymous said...

Meg. I'm freaking out right now. I am reading your blog on the bus coming from...my first appointment with Dr. Horowitz!! What are the ODDS?! I ALSO loved the coral gowns. I don't know what to say, I feel like this comment us going to a creepy place, but just wanted to share!

Anonymous said...

so many times i have thought of e-mailing you and asking if i could pay you to make me a set of those cards. thank you for making my dreams come true.

Anonymous said...

2141 K st has THE BEST OB/GYNs east of the Mississippi AND MAYBE WEST OF IT TOO wait that doesn't make sense.... anyway, I've had both Dr. Bjaj and Dr. Bohan and both are the best goddamn lady doctors I've ever had. I do NOT look good in salmon, though and those gowns gape at the front where my AAA chest is supposed to go.

Lexi said...

I commend anyone mature enough to go to a gyno named Dr. Bjaj.

Anonymous said...

ZOMG i go to Dr. Safran in the same office! he is the best. yayyy lady parts doctors :)

Nikki said...

Best fucking cards ever. I can't wait to hand them out. (:

Anonymous said...

Meg, are you familiar with this wonderful establishment? It seems to dovetail nicely with your cards... http://www.bon-rappetite.com/

Mike K said...

I completely endorse taking me to the awards banquet with you! After hearing your interview with KATG I think I'm in love...

Unknown said...

http://www.vulture.com/2012/04/bone-pugz.html

That is for you, Meg. I didn't know how else to send it along, but I thought you would enjoy it given your affection for pugs.

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