You Don't Own Me

Sorry, for my absence (not like you noticed…) I was in Portland for a conference. I spent my time going to meetings, skipping said meetings and going to the ocean, calling Patsy while at the ocean saying “I AM LOOKING AT THE OTHER OCEAN RIGHT NOW.” My nights (all two of them) were filled with walking around Portland admiring the cute vegan places, vintage clothing boutiques, a giant book store, and hitting up the bars.

I hope everyone had a lovely Halloween dressed as a Slutty _____________ (soccer hooligan, garbage collector, fry cook, postal worker.) As Brooklyn Vegan pointed out I had the year’s most unoriginal costume. I was Amy Winehouse post bloody knife fight with her husband.

Before becoming a drunken whiskey sour filled mess in another city I planed ahead. When I found out I was on deck for this weeks drinking game Netflix came to my rescue. One of these three ladies attended our alma mater so it is a bit of a GO COLLEGE shout out. That has nothing to do with why I picked this movie but it sounds classier than “I put it in my queue when I was feeling all lonely and upset and at the time I though it would give me a good laugh.”

I brought the DVD to my friend’s apartment along with a pocket full of enthusiasm, another friend, and a six pack of André- my favorite $3.99 sparkling wine. We started to play the game with only three of us and it went very well. When others joined I realized we were on our way to breaking the cardinal rule of movie drinking games. Thou shall not play a movie drinking game with more than 5 people. If played with more than five people the game will fizzle and everyone will start their own conversations. This fizzling is not always a bad thing. Some people were probably delighted at the games early ending. But for others (me) who actually wanted to play the slow death of the game was painful.

If we had played the game to the end our livers would harden and our hearts softened with a warming pro-woman agenda. Instead I was left barely feeling a buzz. Without further delay I bring you the classic 1990’s chick flick The First Wives Club.

Take a sip of your drink (out of the bottle)…
When a character takes a sip of their drink (alcoholic)

When the word lesbian is used or lesbianism is referenced

When someone says something to the effect of “this is the 90’s”

For every character on screen who is wearing pearls.

Shout l'chaim and drink when Bar Mitzvahs or studying Hebrew is discussed/occurs (this was turned into when Judaism is mentioned…which turned into when a person who is Jewish is on the screen) In conclusion drink when you see Bette Midler.


Anonymous said...

"Sorry, for my absence (not like you noticed…)"

that was delightfully emo <3

i want to see pictures of this amy winehouse costume (she got in a knife fight with her husband??) i'll send you pictures of me as "little red riding hood-rat"

excellent drinking game. i'll put it on my netflix queue!

<3 patsy

the sir said...

I propose that the "drink when you see Bette Midler" rule is always in effect. Any time you see Bette Midler, drink.

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Patsy- 1)You best put it in your netflix queue...and I was emo BEFORE IT WAS COOL.
2) Pictures are on my facebook. And she did get in a knife fight, it helped chris at fafa.

Chris- Agreed...so who wants to make a drinking game to beaches?


Anonymous said...


personally, i would like to say that there should be a rule about drinking whenever the song "You Don't Own Me" plays...

but maybe that's cuz i asked my mom if i could make a tape of that song (yes a tape, cuz it was the nineties), and i think that's when she knew i was gay....

Anonymous said...



the sir said...

I can't watch "Beaches." I'm a boy. It will... I don't know what it will do. From "Beaches" it's a short step to having emotions, Mai Tais, and visits from Aunt Flo.

Anonymous said...

The pearls rule came THIS close to annihilating me and my liver. I shit you not.

As the friend who hosted this wonderful game, I'd like to add- getting blitzed after you play is a good way to dull the pain from the slow death of your drinking game due to cardinal rule breakage.

prom dress said...

i want to see pictures of this amy winehouse costume (she got in a knife fight with her husband??)

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هل تبحث عن شركة مجربة في نقل الأثاث وذات اسعار متميزة؟ طلبك عندنا نحن شركة نقل عفش بالقطيف التي دخلت هذا المجال مع أوائل الشركات العاملة به فأصبحت رمز وعلامة مميزة داخل مدينة القطيف لكل من العملاء والشركات حديثة العهد بهذا المجال.
وأكثر ما يجعل شركتنا متميزة الشق الخاص بالخبرة، إذ أن سنوات العمل الطويلة التي قضتها الشركة في خدمة مواطنين القطيف في تخصص نقل الأثاث جعلتها تحظى بجانب كبير جدًا من الخبرة التي تفتقر إليها العديد من الشركات الأخرى.
وتميز الشركة يتفرع ليشتمل على جوانب عدة منها طريقة التعامل مع العملاء وسرعة الاستجابة لطلب العميل الخاص بنقل الأثاث، كما توفر الشركة كافة الإمكانات والتقنيات الحديثة التي تكفل للعملاء نقل سريع ويتسم بالأمان للاثاث.
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هناك عوامل عدة يجب أن تكون متوفرة في الشركة القائمة بأعمال تخزين الأثاث حتى يمكن القول عنها إنها شركة متكاملة ولديها أعمال متميزة للغاية مثل شركة تخزين اثاث بالقطيف، ومن هذه العوامل التي نشير إليها ما يأتي:
• الدقة الظاهرة في سلامة المواعيد وتنفيذ أعمال التخزين بشكل دقيق وتركيز عالي مما يجنب الأخطاء الحادثة عن السهو.
• الفصل بين قطع الأثاث والترتيب بحيث يتم وضع القطع كبيرة الحجم إلى جانب بعض وكذلك الصغيرة مع مراعاة ترك مسافة مناسبة بين كل قطعة والأخرى.
• بإمكان الشركة استخدام نوع من الملمعات الخاصة بالأخشاب لدهان الأثاث بالكامل في حال موافقة العميل على ذلك، ويفيد هذا الملمع من منع وصول الرطوبة إلى الأثاث وكذلك حماية الأثاث من التعرض للتشققات وتقشر الطلاء.
• الاهتمام الشديد بتنظيف كل قطع الأثاث قبل تغليفها والشروع في تخزينها لضمان نظافتها الدائمة والقضاء على البكتيريا ومنعها من التكاثر داخل خشب الأثاث.
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