The Deep End of the Ocean

I got a really aggressive email last week from a reader telling me to go eff myself because I never wrote a follow-up post about The Great Towel Exchange with Alex. While it's genuinely exciting to know that there's a human being out there who appreciates Towel and his journey and isn't me, come on guyget a Twitter account. I can't drop everything and write a blog post every time I'm reunited with a towel. Except I totally can!

As far as epic reunions go, this one was up there. It was a lot like that scene in The Color Purple when Whoopi Goldberg is reunited with her sister and long-lost children. Except with white people. And towels. And in a Target and not rural Georgia. And we were only separated for about a week. So, exactly like that scene in The Color Purple.

Take my hand, reader. Let's go on an emotional journey.

Here we are in the towel section in Target.

Meg: Alex, do you feel like a kid in a candy store?!

Alex: No. I feel like an adult in a towel store. [walks away]

HA HA, ohhh someone was feeling cranky that day! It was also at this point that I ran into a friend-of-a-friend who I hadn't seen in over two years. She was there because she's obviously doing wonderfully at her job and just bought a condo in Glover Park and was setting up house. She asked what I was up to these days and I was all, "Oh. Nothing. Buyin' towels. Settling scores. The usual." Our books did come up, but then she asked if they were paying the bills and I had to be like, "No. Not really. Or at all. I need a job. I probably shouldn't be buying towels. Ha ha. WELL, IT WAS REALLY GOOD TO SEE YOU!" Just once I'd like to run into someone from my past and be like, riding a shark and 30 pounds lighter and wearing a cape made of 100-dollar bills and the phone numbers of the many people who want to have sex with me. Not buying towels on a Friday night in stretch pants.

But I digress.
Alex found a towel that was to his liking.

I picked up a new shower liner because I'm an infamously frivolous spender.

Then I went next door and stickered the somewhat uncomfortably racist "Singing Rabbi" in Bed Bath and Beyond.

Finally, we took the party to IHOP to make the official trade.


Welcome home, baby. Welcome home.


Abbie said...

I like that you wear flannel.

Anonymous said...

Really pissed that I got an email from Amazon this morning saying that CHRIS' new book was available with no mention of your name anywhere. His name was on the email (and the picture of the book) with zero reference to you. F that. Your publisher and Amazon should issue a public apology.

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OR you could set up your Amazon author page so the deeply biased search engine can find you.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I think the prob is that Meg doesn't have an author page, so you can't actually subscribe to updates about her books or anything.

Andrea said...

BUT she is listed first on both books' pages, so that's good.

Apparently I drunkenly ordered both books last night. Just got the shipping confirmation, and unlike a majority of my drunken decisions, this is one I don't regret!

Anonymous said...

Oh Meg. The flannel and the wrist tattoo in the handshake photo. Resisting the conga line of lesbian jokes that are parading around my brain, for which I'm just going to apologize for anyway.

LK said...

But did he wear the towel to hot yoga??

Anonymous said...

*slow clap*

Anonymous said...

Luvs you

Anonymous said...

I notice Chris hasn't been posting. Too awkward?

Lucky said...

Thank god you tracked every moment of this.


Anonymous said...

I also got the email about Chris's new book. You need to have words with Amazon. I'm offfended for you.

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either your bathroom door is really long, or your door knob is really low...

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Lol, true about the low knob

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Anonymous said...

^^ That's some supportive spam. Either that, or your towel dispute is sweeping the nation.

I miss you!

A non-related Becca said...

I agree that the spam featured a few comments above is terribly good natured! Hope your hand is healing.

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Meg, It's been almost 2 weeks since your last post. I'm going through withdrawal. Maybe you're posting stuff on Twitter, but I don't really understand the point of Twitter and, therefore, do not subscribe... Sorry, I'm a crotchety old woman stuck in the body of a 26-year-old. Anywho, please come back and blog something. We miss you! BTW, I hope your hand is better!

Anonymous said...

i second Lindsey's comment. i don't get the appeal of twitter, and thus need you to post more here. kthx!

Anonymous said...

The appeal of Twitter - Following @2birds1blog, obviously.

over door towel rack said...

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