US News and World Report’s

We here at 2birds1blog support higher education. If you like to torture yourself and are a tad crazy, you have spent some time filling out graduate school applications. Or, as I would like to call them, "putting off life with useless education" applications. I and my BFF over at Kosher Eucharist have been living this horror for the past few months. Early on we both realized this processes begged to be turned into a game because we are drunks because we are awesome.

If you are like us, join us and drown your sorrows of waiting for the answer by once again reviewing your sent in application/the whole application process and play the


Take one sip…

For every grade lower than a "B" on your transcript.

Every time you have to write your social security number.

For every line you have to sign.

Every time you obsessively check your mail for a response, reference, or transcript.

Every time you lustfully look at the school or programs website.

Every time you wistfully read the course catalogue.

Take Two Sips…

For every person you ask to proofread.

Every time the personal essay/statement uses the word "experience".

When you check the USPS delivery-certifier thing to make SURE it got there.

When you check the schools website to make SURE they got everything.


One sip the first time you remind a reference, two sips the second time, three the third time...

Take a shot…

When the school of your choice finally receives all your references.

When you make an absurd backup plan,
“If I don't get in, I'll move to Valencia and open a surf shop.”

After every interview.

*This game is deadly if played retrospectively. If you fail to get into the program of your choice because of poor life choices (i.e. drinking and filling out grad school applications) 2birds1blog and Kosher Eucharist are free from blame. However, if drinking helps you to loosen up and get into the program of your choice we take full credit for awesomeness (if your program is impressive.)

I wish I could quit you,



Anonymous said...

Have you started going to prospective students' visits yet?

I recommend drinking whenever you find yourself explaining your thesis to someone who is clearly resisting the temptation to make factual corrections and/or a little embarrassed for you and trying to hide it.

Also when you're alone with a professor in her office and trying very hard to hide the fact that you have no idea what she works on. (Drink more if she's just told you, and you're still not sure what she meant or indeed whether she was speaking in English.)

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Sadly I will not attending any prospective students’ visits I am too poor and too far away/ I have very few vacation days. I am going to pick my grad program on blind faith and scholarship money.

I understand that “wtf thesis” look I get it all the time. But that’s what I get for looking at how feminism was portrayed in American popular culture at the end of the second wave. It really has nothing to do with what I will do for “life” but looking back it was fun.

I had a professor e-mail about her area of study and how we seem to share interests. Although I am positive she was speaking English I am still bit confused about her exact area of study and how they are possibly connected.

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