> 140

I just walked six city blocks, in the rain, at 8:30 in the morning to spend the last of my money on a venti gingerbread latte because I decided it looked "cozy" outside, only to come home and accidentally knock my lamp over, thereby not only breaking my lamp, but dumping virtually all 20 ounces of scalding hot gingerbread latte onto my person.

I can say without exaggeration that this is the closest I have ever come to killing myself. Including the time I tried to kill myself.


Erin said...

Oh no! I'd be happy to sponsor a gingerbread latte at any time -- i work in Dupont near the ct ave starbucks!!! don't lose hope!

Anonymous said...

in the last 36 hours, i have dropped (and broken) not one, but TWO expensive bottles of wine (that someone else bought... because god knows i can't afford that ish) and an entire large pot of hot soup. the burns will heal, but my ego may not. i feel you, girl. happy holidays to us.

Denise said...

you should get a tea pot... I've found that an entire tea pot filled with hot chocolate is really where it's at.

Sorry about the lamp, I guess that means we'll be taking a trip to Ikea soon? Yes? 2birds investigates: Is Ikea the best store on the planet?

Just throwing that one out there.

Olivia said...

if it makes you feel any better, i apply people to grad school for work and accidentally filled out, paid for, and submitted an application yesterday for the wrong person to the wrong program at the wrong school. and now i have to call and fix my mistake in front of all my colleagues in cubeland so they can see how big of an asshole i am.

sorry 'bout the lamp, just another reason to use your hat?

Caitlin said...

If you ever find yourself near Gallery Place and/or Union Station, I'd be happy to buy you Starbucks as well!

Blake said...

You were awake at 8:30 in the AM?!?

Who are you and what have you done with Meg?

Teresa said...

Right now my entire crotch is covered in coffee. I smell terrible. I feel your pain.

me said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
maria said...

I love how the internet brings so many wonderful people together.

Krissy said...

Every day I go to Starbucks. Every day I spill said Starbucks all over myself. Shittiest club ever, but welcome!

Anonymous said...

I found gingerbread flavored coffeemate. It means I stay in PJs longer and make my own holiday deliciousness. This wont help your spilling situation, but it may help with the ruining pants part - if you just boycott pants.

Erin said...

if you need a lamp replacement im totally game to get you a replica one of the leg lamp from a christmas story

Erin said...

did you not have one of those green little topper thingies for your cup?? i love those things. they have definitely saved my pants a time or two.

BF said...

sorr about the lamp, and the latte.

Sarah said...

I will gladly introduce you to some baristas at SoHo Tea & Coffee so that you too may score free lattes. We all hate to see our Meggles go without.

Sorr about the lamp.

Alison said...

Take out a Craigslist ad for a replacement!! That post was not only my introduction to the wonderfulness that is 2b1b, but is still one of my favorites. It could even be a dual posting, one for the coffee, one for a lamp.

Anonymous said...

^--that WAS a good post.

although i'm sorry; hold up. you can't just float out a casual mention of some rando time you tried to off yourself! what the what?!

Ali said...

Meg, I am sorry to hear about your almost suicide-inducing, gingerbread-latte-spilling/lamp-breaking-accident.

I live too far from D.C. to replace said items for you, but I would in a heartbeat. Is that creepy as fuck to hear from a reader you've never met? Probably, but I swear it's all good intentions.

Sorr about the suicidal thoughts.

Marta said...

I'll echo the sorr about the lamp/latte sentiment and also the offer to purchase you another latte or 12 if you are ever near U St or Metro Center. Or at the very least give you a Starbucks gift card.

(Hey, I think you now know a great way to get fed/by in life: first knock things over all over yourself, in the process damaging another item, and then sound really depressed. Jackpot).

Unknown said...

I love lamp.

Jon Hanson said...

I'd take the broken lamp and the burn, but losing a latte you walked 6 blocks for would be unacceptable to me.

I'd be forced to make the 6 block trek again.


Anonymous said...

this is just another reason why I am super angry at the 19th and M starbucks for suddenly closing, because then you wouldn't have had to walk 6 blocks and everything might be different

Jen said...

You need a P.O. Box.

I want to send you a gift card to Starbucks.

Lia said...

December is just around the corner, and it has to be better than November. Stay strong. You make us all laugh, I wish I could return the favor.

Daniel said...

do i need to move back in to the fartbreak so we can not remember a week? maybe two this time?

Anonymous said...

2b1b has a paypal account where you can deposit the amount you would give Meg on a starbucks card.

You save the plastic from the additional starbucks card, and she doesn't have to get a P.O. box to distance herself from you stalkers.

Anonymous said...

baahaha i did love the post about the craiglist ad. that was solid gold.
sorry about your day meggles, this poopy weather makes everything worse

Anonymous said...

can someone post the ilnk to the craigslist story? i haven't seen it and can't find it! thanks =)

Meredith said...

For Anonymous 4:22


Kelly said...

oh meg. come to the king of prussia mall. i will buy you two lattes (one for the road, cuz...its a drive).

sorr about the 2nd degree burns.

Matt said...

Whoa Anon 2:50...chilllllll

Anna said...

I think Anonymous had a great idea. Buy yourself a lamp and a latte via my paypal moneys.

Jen said...

I don't have money to donate :(

I have 7 $20 giftcards to starbucks because my work traded with them...

It was just wishful thinking. P.O. boxes cost money.

Erica said...

last night i shattered a wine glass right after i unloaded dirty dishes from the dishwasher, accidentally of course.

sorr about the lamp/latte.

pook555 said...

That totally sucks. Sorr about the lamp and the latte. Feel better!

Anonymous said...

I went back to revisit the craigslist post which was a beautiful reminder that you also used to recrap More to Love--amazing.

Caitlin said...

I sooo know how that feels, I wanted to stick my head in an oven every time I got rejected from a housing situation. I was temporarily homeless after I parted ways with my last roomie. Buck up, things have to get better eventually, but if you want to sob over drinks over it with another AU alum, I'm game. Things suck now, but they won't forever!

PS - I worked at starbucks for a while (not one of my prouder moments, but a girl's gotta try and almost pay rent) and I scalded myself more times than I care to remember

Charlotte said...

haha, that last sentence made me laugh
very cool blog.. and if it makes you feel any better my day has pretty much gone this way today

Jackie Sunshine said...

I can't even tell you how many times I've thought "whoaaa... WHOAA... I got it... I got it...". boom. Right in my lap, or all over my car. Now I always hold coffee with 2 hands.

K said...

sooo...am i out of the loop? i'm not saying I googled "sorr about the bag" but I'm not NOT saying I googled it, and I'm also not NOT saying this link shows up:



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