10.21.2011

Thoughts I Couldn't Flesh Out Into Full Entries

- I ran across this while perusing fuckyeahtattoos the other day:


...Look, I'm not trying to seem insensitive here, but there's just something so hilarious? ironic about paying someone to permanently scar you by dragging an ink-filled needle across your skin to further self injury awareness. It's like going on a hunger strike to battle anorexia. Or organizing a fight club against domestic violence. Or renting out a That's Amore! for a night and turning it into a full-blown Roman vomitorium to end bulimia. It just makes me laugh is an interesting choice.

- Remember the 90210 episode where Steve decides to try out his stand-up chops at comedy night at the After Dark, bombs, panics, and ends up stealing a routine from Richard Belzer and it's this big morality lesson about how you should always tell your girlfriend the truth and never steal from Richard Belzer? .........................................................Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry. There's no punchline here. I just think it's completely absurd that that was actually a plotline on 90210.

- "I still really want to see a Christian foam party"- Andrew, October 14, 2011. It just seemed too funny to waste on Twitter. Sorry.

- Alia Shawkat's overacting in Drew Barrymore's Best Coast music video extravaganza "Crazy For You" is one of the most magical things I've ever seen in my entire life. (4:45)


Sometimes when I come back from the gym out of breath, I throw on my doorknocker earrings and a denim jacket and walk around my bathroom delivering that monologue to myself in the mirror. Kind of like how when I get bored emptying the dishwasher, I make all of my movements really big and dramatically slam dishes down in frustration and pretend I'm the piano player in The Style Council's video for "Shout It to the Top".


It passes the time. Either way, Night Creepers 4 lyfe.

- I listened to the unedited version of "Guilty Conscious" the other day for the first time in a while and it was startling.

- Somebody from Hurricane, West Virginia hacked into my Facebook account last Wednesday at 2:38 in the afternoon. The story here is obviously that there's a Hurricane, West Virginia. And that it was recognized for Outstanding Drinking Water Performance in 2010 and has one of the oldest barbershops in America. Swear to fuckin' God.

- I wrote a tweet last Friday about an incredibly mediocre sandwich I was eating at the time and got this in response:

You know what? I resent that. Because I'm fairly confident that they have sandwiches in the third world and the law of averages tells us that some of them have to be mediocre. So suck it, Angie.

- It's T.G.I. Hagman!

Photobucket

And it really is T.G.I. Hagman. I'm not jumping the gun and dooming a man to months of radiation therapy this time. PROOF:

(That was a very meta experience for me. Check it out:



Let's go one more level.


It's like being trapped in a really mediocre Escher drawing.) As of 1:22am on October 21, 2011 (FOR REALZ, FOR REALZ), Larry Hagman is...alive! And I would sell my soul to the Devil to keep it that way.

Alright, that's going to do it for us this week. Have a great weekend and if you're going to the Maryland Renaissance Festival this Saturday—SEE YOU THERE. (!!!1) Buh bye.

60 comments:

Jess said...

Thanks for posting all week and giving me something to look forward to while having my morning coffee and constitution.

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

I'm proud of myself! It feels good to be back.

hijabeng said...

the thoughts you can't flesh out into full entries are my FAVORITEST types of posts everrr. i wouldn't mind if all of your posts were like this.

Anonymous said...

Now that you're posting full-time again, can you bring back Drinking Game Fridays?

Anonymous said...

Renn Fest! Looking forward to that post! =)

Anonymous said...

CANNOT WAIT for RenFest stories. Shoot That Fruit!!!

Chicago James said...

Photoblog RenFest. You'll be taking pictures anyway, just keep chronological and insert witticisms.

Critically Urban said...

Already went to the RenFest this year! TWICE!

Casey said...

What the EFF was that Drew Barrymore video? How and why was she involved? I don't even know what it all means. I'm so confused. (Although I do love me some Chloe Moretz, so I'm not necessarily complaining.)

Trish said...

Meg, do you realize that the dead or alive site says that it was last updated on 10/18? So, theoretically, Larry Hagman could have died in the last two days and we just haven't heard about it yet. HOW WILL WE KNOW FOR SURE???

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

What the EFF was that Drew Barrymore video? How and why was she involved? I don't even know what it all means. I'm so confused. (Although I do love me some Chloe Moretz, so I'm not necessarily complaining.)
Drew Barrymore directed a video for a compilation of three Best Coast songs. It has cool hair and Donald Glover.


Meg, do you realize that the dead or alive site says that it was last updated on 10/18? So, theoretically, Larry Hagman could have died in the last two days and we just haven't heard about it yet. HOW WILL WE KNOW FOR SURE???
oqwiefjoi2jefoi2jefoij2oi3fjawofaggfaefaefn

Vivienne said...

"I still really want to see a Christian foam party"- Andrew, October 14, 2011.

Come to Georgetown. Happens all the time.

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Where specifically? Like at the university, or at Rhino on odd Friday nights?

Laura P said...

I've definitely been to Hurricane, WV, because my friend is from there. Another fun fact: it's actually pronounced hurri-kin, not hurri-cane. Yup, it blew my mind when I found that out, too.

Meg said...

I've been to Hurricane, WVa. It's pretty depressing. Unsurprisingly, I was there for a mission trip. Also the townfolk get really bent out of shape if you don't pronounce it all hillbilly-like: "Hurrikin" with an emphasis on the first syllable.

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Well, I get really bent out of shape when Hurri-kin folk hack into my Facebook account. So, we're even.

And I've always had your back, West Virginia...

Anonymous said...

Seems petty to start calling out FANS who tweet you. I find it especially petty when it is a fan that I know for a fact bought your book and other merchandise of yours so you could keep yourself in your ridiculous organic yogurt and eyebrow threading routine. (Us real broke people use generic and tweezers, by the by.) Oh, but wait, she deserves to be bitched out by name and should, "Suck it." Kind of pissed me off, you know? Seemed a little unnecessary.

I have been a loyal reader for two years now, and I have always supported the blog. I've loved the stories you've shared and I have laughed out loud more times than I can count. Despite this, I found your move seriously bogus. I thought you were someone who valued your fans and readers. From now on, you will not count me as one of them.

I wish you the best of success with your writing. You are good. And maybe one day you will learn not to shit on loyalty.

Anonymous said...

Uhh he shit on her first, fuckhead.

Anonymous said...

**She. And use a thesaurus.

Anonymous said...

Re: the Twitter outburst.
I guess none of us got the memo where no one is allowed to be funny but you.
But really, getting all insecure and ~!special snowflake*~ on a fan who was just pointing out the obvious when you complained about something people in third world countries obviously wouldn't complain about? Perhaps if such trivial things bother you enough to have such pointed outbursts, you should seriously consider stepping back from the public sphere or making an appointment with your therapist to get those FEELINGS under wraps. Mostly, I suggest getting a real, honest-to-goodness job. Beyond making your extravagant lifestyle more of a routine and less of something to constantly bitch about, it may give you less time to fret about mediocre sandwiches and fan RTs on Twitter and more time to focus on getting professional if this is truly something you wish to pursue.
I was rooting for you Meg. You're a good writer and were once funny as hell, but somewhere along the way, all the good fell to the wayside to whining about being "broke," complaining about ", and now openly attacking. I'm afraid this was the last straw and I won't be reading your blog or following you on Twitter anymore.
And I can't say I'm terribly upset about the decision, either.

Anonymous said...

i'M So bRoKe!!!!!!!1 But I can 100% buy weed, then go out for $10 beer and turkey legs at RenFest!!!!!!!1

Angie said...

This post was mediocre.

rachel said...

DayTrotter4lyfe! Oh wait.....I'm already on the CJFam4lyfe bandwagon and I think you're only allowed one. #firstworlddecisions

Anonymous said...

stop complaining about being poor and having 9 dollars in your bank account but then post about your iphone, gym membership, dupont apartment, and eyebrow threading. really?

Anonymous said...

anonymous 8:51, let's not forget the ren fest tickets and the ridiculous amount of take out she references. honestly meg, i rooted for you SO HARD. but youre such a spoiled brat now.

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Seems petty to start calling out FANS who tweet you. Maybe one day you will learn not to shit on loyalty.

WOAH, WOAH, WOAH. It was a joke. We do that on here. I don't actually resent Angie and I'd hope she knows the blog well enough to know when I'm being sarcastic. Take it down a notch, killer.

stop complaining about being poor and having 9 dollars in your bank account but then post about your iphone, gym membership, dupont apartment, and eyebrow threading. really?

i just got two paychecks, weirdo. Is it cool with you if I use my money how I want? Get back to me ASAP because I really need paper towels.

Jess said...

A bunch a damn babies. If you dont like what she does with her shit, go somewhere else. This blog is hilarious.

Jennifer Sanchez said...

Wow these people must all have large savings accounts, 401ks with thousands already invested, and not wasting their money on rent.

At least, that is how they're all acting. Geez-zus. If you have never spent the little money you had on something for you, then you shouldn't be reading this blog anyways.

Anonymous said...

Wow...and I thought my PMS was bad. What is wrong with "fans" today?

ennta said...

Due to lack of hamburger buns, I had to eat my Boca burgers on a hot dog bun. That was a very mediocre sandwich.

Love the blog, haters to the left, etc. etc. <3

Anonymous said...

Meg rules and I'm so glad she's back on the blog!!!

Cat said...

Ummm, how can you be a reader of this blog and NOT GET that the whole 'mediocre sandwich tweet' thing was a joke???

Meg, you rock. Keep up the good work, I loooove your posts which always make my day.

Anonymous said...

"i just got two paychecks, weirdo. Is it cool with you if I use my money how I want? Get back to me ASAP because I really need paper towels."

Um, I love you, Meg. #SuckItHaters

Ian said...

Totally looking forward to the Renn Fest post.

Laur said...

I am broke as shit and constantly worrying about making ends meet. You know what I do to feel better about this living nightmare from time to time? I go get my eyebrows threaded. Or I order in a decent meal. I drink Kool Aid out of a fancy wine glass. I put on my most expensive shoes and sit around the house when I can't afford to go anywhere else. You can't fix money problems overnight, but sometimes the small indulgences help you feel a little better. And even more to the point, however you choose to indulge is nobody's business but your own. Money makes life hard enough; no one needs the negativity.

Anonymous said...

Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with people.

Anonymous said...

Also, grow some fucking balls if you're going to be a shit to the writers of this blog and sign your damn name to the fucking comment. Pussies!

Trina said...

There is a crazy irony to self-inflicting yourself for self-infliction. Loved the scatteredness of the post, lots of fun! feline canine diabetes

O&A said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oh...Dana said...

I'm just going to apologize for all of the Hurricane folk who hacked into your account. I'm sure it took a lot of them, as I was born and raised there. (I now however, live in Gotham City/World's most Livable City/Pittsburgh/WTF)

Also THAT BARBERSHOP IS AWESOME, OKAY? JUST DEAL WITH IT. Sigh. It's been in my family for eons, clearly.

I am just so confused.

Anonymous said...

i'm so sad there haven't been posts this week! :(

Anonymous said...

I lurve your blog, you actually inspired me to start one :) http://getnailedbywhitney.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

http://jennerica.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

you can all eat a dick!

Anonymous said...

MEG ROWLAND! FORGET THE HATERS AND COME BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Anonymous said...

come baaaaaack!!!!


also, mayybe just maybe disable comments? Not doin' a whole lotta good

Emily - Emz321 said...

Last week was such a better week for me. I felt like I got my friend back and that we were keeping in touch as though no time had gone by (one sided of course). This week I feel abandoned and a sense of loss! I know it's not all about me but Meg you're missed and I want my one sided friendship back! It's unfortunate people are so negative but there's some really cool people that read your blog and how much more important and significant are we than the few complainy haters?! Something to ponder the next time some Judgy McJudgerson decides to tell you how to live your life!

Emily - Emz321 said...

Last week was such a better week for me. I felt like I got my friend back and that we were keeping in touch as though no time had gone by (one sided of course). This week I feel abandoned and a sense of loss! I know it's not all about me but Meg you're missed and I want my one sided friendship back! It's unfortunate people are so negative but there's some really cool people that read your blog and how much more important and significant are we than the few complainy haters?! Something to ponder the next time some Judgy McJudgerson decides to tell you how to live your life!

Anonymous said...

Oh Meg, you were doing so well.

Meghan said...

Haters gon' hate.

Don't listen to them Meg, its one or two people out of everyone. You are doing awesome and they obviously have some serious issues of their own.

Lisa said...

i don't think the nasty comments are what's keeping meg away. i think it's the fact that she broke her hand over the weekend and can't type (see http://twitter.com/#!/2birds1blog)

Anonymous said...

Okay I missed it. What exactly did Angie tweet to Princess Meggles that got her so wound up?

Anonymous said...

Ugh I really hate when there are mean people posting because there are so so many normal people with nothing that interesting to say who realize that we have nothing that interesting to say and lurk who LOVE what you write. You are seriously hilarious and your brain works in mysterious and complex ways. When you don't post for a whole week I'm sad. I check everyday! But on my google reader so maybe you can't tell. Anyways, you are great and I wish that I had a television network so I could give you the reality show that you deserve. ...Just found out your hand is broken and that's why you haven't been posting. Um I'll just post this little pep talk anyways.

Just Another Girl said...

I'm so happy you're back full time again !

Anonymous said...

TnhPoz [url=http://onnrainnmcm.com/#40886]MCM[/url] NlkLkq http://onnrainnmcm.com/ KpaXce [url=http://mcmsenmon.com/#42249]MCM 長財布[/url] NinXbo http://mcmsenmon.com/ YomEun [url=http://ninnkimcm.com/#60908]MCM 韓国[/url] KhkKru http://ninnkimcm.com/ FmjIti [url=http://kaidokumcm.com/#52081]MCM 長財布[/url] XhkSxc http://kaidokumcm.com/ PnfRwm [url=http://manzokumcm.com/#93826]MCM バッグ[/url] CwcBah http://manzokumcm.com/ OfuQyj http://chloenihon.com/ SpcJve [url=http://chloenihon.com/]クロエ 長財布[/url] UgvHws http://louboutindendou.com/ WqpDka [url=http://louboutindendou.com/]ルブタン スニーカー[/url] XquRmp http://guccisenmon.com/ FzwJwx [url=http://guccisenmon.com/]グッチ バッグ[/url] BytBnl [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM バッグ[/url] JzkSor [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM[/url]

Anonymous said...

the UC is really struggling with increased costs and decreased revenue, and tuition case study research paper increases and out-of-state students can only fill part of the hole.

karl simpsons said...

12 months loans for bad credit are absolutely free from any kind of credit check. In general, all those who had been hesitant to apply for a bad credit loan scheme.

£1000 loans for 3 months
weekend loans online

Moore Anderson said...

Taking a 1000 pound instant payday loan is not a bad thing at all. Several people take it when they have cash shortage and they can't live without having money. For further information about loans please visit us:-
http://www.1000poundstillpaydayuk.co.uk/

karl simpsons said...

12 month loan direct lender uk,Marcel open his vision sweet-shop a little over a year back. His amass is the solitary one of its kind within miles, and all and sundry goes to his shop when they need to please a sweet tooth. For further information about loans please visit us:-
http://www.12monthloansdirectlendersuk.co.uk/

Hill said...


LGBT TRAVEL | Australia's NO#1 fully dedicated LGBTIQ travel store

DISCOVER WHAT'S HOT DOWN UNDER for Travel - Accommodation - Events - Clubs - Pubs - Eateries and Saunas


gay community

 
Clicky Web Analytics