8.08.2010

Attn: Kathy Griffin (& a Giveaway!)

When it comes to advertising on this blog, I'm surprisingly selective for someone who openly peruses the Craigslist adult gigs section to make ends meet. Every now and then someone will contact me about doing a giveaway, and while I enjoy the idea of you guys getting free shit, 9 times out of 10 it's just not a right fit. I feel like I know you guys pretty well. We converse on a daily basis. You've always been extremely good to me, so I feel obligated to be good to you. (Plus you know how I fear/am in awe of the 2b1b army's wrath and power...) Thus we've never done any giveaways for titanium promise rings or organic period keepers. (Although if you're into that, let me know. I could have been way off.) Because really, I don't mind letting a 48 SWM/DDF watch me smoke a few Parliment Lights every now and then if it means I don't alienate the crap out of you guys.

Up until a few weeks ago, I think the most impressive giveaway opportunity I had ever been contacted with was from someone at Warner Brothers who emailed to ask if I'd advertise a competition to write jokes for Lisa Lampanelli. What would the winner get? An autographed photo of Lisa Lampanelli. I realize beggars can't be choosers, especially when I ate a bag of baked lays dipped in off-brand peanut butter for dinner tonight, but I think I actually laughed out loud when I read that email. Because that's like a competition to kill yourself and the winner gets raped. Pass, thank you.

Last week, however, I got an email about a giveaway opportunity that I was actually pretty excited about. It was from a promoter at the Seminole Hard Rock Hollywood Hotel & Casino asking if we'd do a giveaway to promote Kathy Griffin's upcoming performance on August 11th. Now, I love Kathy Griffin just as much as the next girl, but after reading his email, I knew I had to immediately contact two people: my mom and Dan.

I'm going to say something about my mother, and I need you to know that I am in no way just saying this for comedic effect: my mother loves Kathy Griffin absolutely more than me and perhaps slightly more than Evie. Yeah. I know. Them be fightin' words. If Kathy Griffin and Evie were dangling from a cliff and Diane could only save one, I think she'd a.) push me over for good measure, despite not being involved in this little Sophie's Choice to begin with; b.) think about her options for an obscenely long amount of time; and c.) ultimately decide to grab both of their paws and jump in some sort of a dramatic, twisted, three-way, feline Thelma & Louise style ending.

Truthfully, as I've discussed before, my mom is pretty supportive of this cat fashion show of a blog and my writing in general, despite it being primarily about body fluids, laziness and emotions. However, she thinks I'm greatly in need of a mentor. And who does she think that mentor should be? Kathy Griffin. Because besides being a fan, my mom also thinks she knows Kathy Griffin (or "my Kathy", or "my best friend Kathy Griffin", as she's more frequently referred to) and Diane knows that if I emailed Kathy with a few samples of my writing, she'd be on the next flight to DC to spoon with me in bed and tell me what to do the next time I get sued.

I, however, feel slightly less confident about that. First of all, I don't think Kathy Griffin is somewhere in LA just waiting to receive an email from me that says, "Hi Kathy. My name is Meg and I'm a moderately well-known comedy blogger who has emotions and diarrhea. Hold me?" Secondly, why is the answer to everything in my family always "email Kathy Griffin"? I hate to break it to my parents, but we don't actually know Kathy Griffin, nor do we know her email address. Every time I need guidance, both of my parents' go-to suggestion is always, "email Kathy about it." Really? Where do you suppose I do that? Kathy@Griffin.sup? "So google her." GOOGLE HER?! What sort of Pleasentville-like reality are my parents living in that they think I can just google Kathy Griffin's personal email address. I can't even track down my lawyer's new email address, and that's a woman who's cell phone number I have. "Well, use the contact page on her website." And that's when I'm forced into this uncomfortable position where I want to tell my parents that that email will probably never see the light of day, but there's such an adorable amount of faith and hope in their bright little eyes that she sits there reading her public contact email all day and suddenly I feel like I'm telling my kids that there's no Santa Claus, except in this situation I'm the parent, my parents are my kids and Santa Claus is Kathy Griffin and wooooo! It's just to much for a Sunday. So I'm like, "......Yes...I'll go do that...'right now'," and skulk away into the shadows hoping that they'll forget we ever just had that conversation. It's exhausting. And it happens more than you'd think. Surprisingly.

And then there's Dan. Poor, poor, Dan. You see, Dan is in a bit of a conundrum. He loves Kathy Griffin as well and apparently her new book was a very meaningful read for him. Now Dan is on a mission to somehow personally convey to Kathy Griffin how much she means to him. (Seriously, I can't tell you how many late-night drunken conversations we've had that end in Dan slurring about how if he could just talk to Kathy...) The problem here is that because Dan works in PR, he uses his Twitter account for business, so he doesn't want tweets about field research in Lebanon sandwiched between, "@kathygriffin ZOMG OH HAI GIRLFRIEND!! LOVE 2 LOVE U!!!!1" Because if there is a faster or more efficient way to out yourself in the office not involving homoerotic photographs, I'd love to know what it is.

I keep telling Dan that he should make a second Twitter account for the sole purpose of tweeting Kathy Griffin, but apparently he doesn't want to be That Guy. But you know what guy he will be? The guy who uses my blog to openly gush about his love for Kathy Griffin. That's right, after I told my mom about Hard Rock's email, I told Dan and suggested on the off chance that she see this blog one day, he should take this opportunity to tell her everything he's ever wanted to say but can't. Five minutes later, this letter was born:

Hi Kathy,

I love you, and I've been wanting to tell you this for so long. I've been wanting to twat you (thinking it would be the most direct way to get to you) forever, but unfortunately I use my Twitter for only professional stuff. Which prevents me from tweeting most of the real things in my life, like, "Kathy you gave me #tears when you introduced Maggie to Don Rickles " or, "What's taking Pizza Bolis so long?" - though I did break that rule when I found out Levi and Bristol were getting back together. WTF! (update: they're broken up now but I'm still shaken).

I'm a fan of yours. A huge fan, actually. I've seen all your stand-ups (taped, sadly), most of the D-lists, read your book, and follow you on Twitter. In the past year I've gone from a casual fan to being a serious having-gay-romantic feelings fan. You're hysterical, and everything you do is my favorite... but I also feel like its a lot more than that. I loved your book, and how heartfelt and honest you were in it...and so, now that I hopefully have your attention, I'm going to come out and say, I'M YOUR NUMBER 1 FAN!!!! (oh, and I'm also a red-head).

Love,
Dan

God bless him. God bless his heart.

So will we be doing the Hard Rock/Kathy Griffin giveaway today? Of course we will. I think Diane would kill me, raise me from the dead, and kill me again if we didn't. The day I got the email from Hard Rock, I called her to be like, "Oh, guess what? Your best friend is doing a gig at the Hard Rock in Florida and a promoter contacted me about doing something on the blog about it." "Why did they contact you?" she asked. "I don't know. I guess we have a similar humor and fanbase?"

And then from somewhere deep, deep in her bowels, she screamed in a guttural way that I didn't even know she was capable of, "WHAT DID I SAY?! WHAT DID I SAY, MEGHAN CATHERINE?! WHAT HAVE I BEEN TELLING YOU FOR YEARS AND YOU LAUGH AT ME?!?!"

"I know, I know..."

"SAY IT. SAY WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR YEARS."

"...That I should email Kathy Griffin because you think our humor is similar."

"AND NOW WHAT'S HAPPENED?"

"Sigh. A consultant for Hard Rock wants me to promote her gig."

"WHY?!"

"Because our humor is similar."

"AND NOW YOU WILL EMAIL MR. PAMPALONE BACK IMMEDIATELY AND TELL HIM THAT YOU'D BE HONORED."

"His name is Mike, mom."

"YOU WILL NOT RUIN THIS FOR BOTH OF US BY CARELESSLY TOSSING AROUND HIS CHRISTIAN NAME!!!!"

I genuinely can't tell if my mom's zeal about this giveaway is because she thinks this is a good networking move for my career, or if because she thinks in some ass-backwards that this might result in her meeting her best friend and idol, Kathy Griffin? Either way, we're totally doing the giveaway.

In honor of Kathy Griffin's upcoming performance at Seminole Hard Rock Hollywood Casino & Hotel, on Wednesday August 11th at 8pm (tickets info available here), we will be giving away two copies of her new book, "Official Book Club Selection: A Memoir According to Kathy Griffin", and two ultra bad-ass Hard Rock watches.
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For those of us who aren't math-savvy, that's a total of four winners. Hellz. Yeah. To enter, just leave a comment in today's comment section and I'll think of one of my fail-proof, highly scientific ways to pick winners (probably involving my mom and Dan, let's not lie) and let you know the results tomorrow.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be celebrating my ticket to a lifetime of piña coladas, loud farts and full-time blogging, should you need me.

247 comments:

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Denise said...

Comment! Umm.... do I have to say more than that? lemme know?

Becky Mochaface said...

I heart Kathy Griffin.

Cassandra said...

all I need to do is comment... yes please. love your blog. and gingers like Kathy Griffin

cb said...

consider this my entry!

rebecca said...

Oh my Lord, I absolutely love Kathy Griffin. And this post reinforces my feelings about me wanting to be biffles with you and your mom.

Denise said...

i would comment AND see the show if i lived in DC. So here, at least, is the former.

Bonnie said...

One of my friends stopped me mid story about a month ago and said, "you ARE kathy griffin." best compliment of my life.

I want the book!

Taylor said...

Pick ME!

Jessica Ellis said...

My thoughts on the matter kind of echo your mom's except where she says "Kathy Griffin", I'd say "Chelsea Handler", but Kathy Griffin works, too. I'd like to sit down with Diane one day and have a spirited conversation about this.

P.S. I luuuurve Kathy Griffin and would love one of her lovely books. :)

"Mike" said...

I hate Kathy Griffin.

Jill said...

I'm with Dan. That book is AMAZING. Sadly, I do not have my very own copy and opted instead to steal it from my co-workers desk and replace it in a "timely fashion" hoping she didn't notice. So yeah...I want.

Heather said...

entered! love your blog--read it daily. In all honesty, and with full expectation of a gasp of horror by way of your mother--I think you are in fact funnier than Kathy Griffin. :)

Andrew N said...

Kathy Griffin is god. My roommates despise her so I am forced to DVR her show, and watch it when no one is around and it is just me and Kathy time.

CaitBel said...

I want! I want! I also love me some Kathy. It's humor like hers (and yours) that gets me through days like today when my company announces they're doing massive layoffs in the immediate future. Sigh. So pick me? Thanks, love you and the blog!

Emy said...

this is really funny because I happen to LOVE Kathy Griffin and I happen to LOVE telling time.

so if I somehow win either, it's a victory.

P. Walter Thomas III said...

Lisa Lampenelli joke writing contest: Sex + Black Guy = win

Rach said...

I did the sum we used to use in high school to work out compatibiliy in a highly scientific way and it turns out Kathy griffin loves Meg 2birds1blog 57% at the moment. A respectable score. Love the blog! And pugs too.

Andrew said...

I'd rather have a 2b1b sticker set and a date to watch Dallas and eat cheetos with meg and evie. Please make that a special surprise giveaway. And hey, gotta be honest, after Diane's Keiko soy sauce joke and her instincts about your humor...maybe it's time to let her write a guest post #pushingboundaries

Anonymous said...

I saw Tiffany hiking this weekend at Runyon Canyon in LA, and she was with some very short person who may or may not have been Kathy. (I didn't get a chance to get a really good look).

Whether it WAS Kathy or not, Tiffany alone was the highlight of my weekend. She's very pretty in person!

Melody said...

Umm, yes please!

Abbey said...

If an anon wins this contest I swear I will.... I don't know what I'll do but I will be very unhappy!!!

Official Entry Comment!

Tabby Tabberson said...

HOLY SHIT KATHY GRIFFIN!!!!!!!

Kate said...

I myself have red hair

Haley said...

I've love a book!

Kerri said...

Enter me!

Sam said...

Tip it!

Arwen said...

Yay, Kathy Griffin! Remember that time when she was in an Eminem video? "May I have your attention please?" oh, Kathy.

Courtney said...

My comment: Dan, I too am a redhead!

Rachel said...

we gingers must stick together...

Grace said...

i think the way dan feels about kathy griffin is the way i feel about you, meghan c. mcblogger.

Tiffany said...

She went to my High School! Pick me!! :)

Emz321 said...

I was at the gym attempting to run on the treadmill while watching Kathy Griffin's D List show. I laughed so hard, so long and so loud which cause people to horrifyingly stare as I'm running hunched over holding onto the treadmill for dear life with my legs trying to keep up, it wasn't pretty but that good laugh was so worth it. I love Kathy!

Randomguy said...

Count me in!!!1

caitlin said...

Do want!

Go team redheads

Mary-Kate said...

Meghan C. McBlogger why does it say you posted at 8:21pm? That is a lie! (trust me I re-fresh your page probs every 30 seconds)

But in other news, I still love you and I love Kathy Griffin and I love reading and I love free prizes and holy crap that's a lot of love and emotions and ewwww emotions, but maybe this will prove that expressing your emotions yields positive results????

LYLIKY! (or Love Ya Like I Know Ya!)

Peter said...

I hate to say this, but I think I love Kathy Griffin more than Kevin Yang.

Jacqueline L said...

Diane is your Maggie Griffin. Hilarious. I love it.

Hails said...

As an avid fan of comedy, reading, and telling time, how could I not comment?

Julia said...

I'm looking for something to change my life and if it's a Kathy Griffin book then so be it! Actually it would probably be a pretty good read and I need a new book in my life. Thanks!

SSC said...

I heard her book is hilarious- I sure would like to find out for myself!

Chad said...

Now my dearest Meg, while I've demonstrated for you I will not stoop so low as to beg for freebies, I will remind you that it would be convenient enough for you to simply hand a book/watch directly to me while Ichabod and Rupert are bouncing and snorting around during our pug play date.

Jocelyn said...

I love free stuff!

Meredith said...

Dude, it's too bad that I no longer have a job where I have to dance on a chair at Hard Rock Cafe once a week and do the YMCA at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore. And no, I didn't work at Hard Rock.

But as a fellow redhead, I officially enter.

Cordie said...

Pick me! Pick me!

debbiej022 said...

you are HILARIOUS. i heart you and kathy griffin!

danielle said...

Yay for Kathy Griffin. I wanna know if the book tells all about her marriage and her brief "friendship" with Woz. And also that one random army dude that she brought as her date to some event after she met him on her comedy trip overseas.

Laura K said...

I love 2birds1blog, Kathy Griffin, and free stuff! :)

Caity said...

One time, I made a new red-headed friend named Kyle. Within an hour of meeting him, he started calling himself a Ginger. I blame the handle of Jack Daniels he was swigging. We ended up getting drunk together at my apartment and playing the Wii, during which he repeatedly yelled, "This Ginger is gonna kick your ass! Watch yoself!" Then he got completely obliterated and fell asleep sitting up with a pizza plate on his face. The end.

The moral of the story is that I imagine spending any sort of time with Kathy Griffin in person would be infinitely more fun than getting completely obliterated with a fellow Ginger and passing out with pizza crumbs on your face.

Ange N said...

Love Kathy! If she is on the D-List then I am pretty sure that makes me on the Z-List...sigh

kerry a. said...

take me to gingerville.

kerry a. said...

take me to gingerville.

Jessie said...

I can read ANDD tell time. This give away is perfect for me!

Kelly said...

OMG. if ever there was a better contest....

if i was a redhead, kathy griffin would be my idol. i don't have a current idol, even as a blonde, but i think thats besides the point. kathy griffin. love.

(AND. who DOESN'T love knowing what time it is and having a fricken WATCH TAN?!?!)

-Kelly <3

Kelly said...

OMG. if ever there was a better contest....

if i was a redhead, kathy griffin would be my idol. i don't have a current idol, even as a blonde, but i think thats besides the point. kathy griffin. love.

(AND. who DOESN'T love knowing what time it is and having a fricken WATCH TAN?!?!)

-Kelly <3

SS said...

UM LOVE LOVE LOVE KATHY GRIFFIN - possibly as much as Dan, possibly not.

Jenna said...

This was so worth the wait on a Monday morning.

Catherine said...

my former college roommate and i continue to get together for two reasons and two reasons only: 1. to gossip about people we knew in college, and 2. to see kathy griffin every time she comes to town, watch kathy griffin specials and "d list" episodes on tv, and generally bask in our mutual love for kathy griffin.

make us both winners today please!

Isabelle Campbell said...

Love you, love the blog and love Kathy Griffin!!!!

Isabelle Campbell said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Allison said...

i am one of kathy's gays and i am a straight female. LOVE.

Michael said...

Meg-- Please have Kathy as a guest blogger.

Kathy--Please have Meg on My Life on the D-List.

Isabelle Campbell said...

Love you, love the blog and love Kathy Griffin!

Caroline said...

Kathy Griffin is awesome^maxpower. I am with Diane on this one - you two should totally be BFF.

Greater than Stan said...

Kathy Griffin is as funny as aids, however I find aids to be quite comical. Also less diarrhea talk, more boob talk. Thanks

mary.kate.olsen. said...

commentt

Jessica said...

As I was leaving work today, I was putting some paperwork in my bag, not even kind of paying attention to where I was going. BAM fell down concrete steps, faceplanted, and skinned my hands and knees. Two things made me feel better: 1) seeing a man peddling his bicycle down the middle of the street with a 30 pack of natty ice on the handle bars; and 2) meg mcblogger.

oh, and I <3 kathy griffin.

Cassidy said...

Perfection

Hannah said...

"I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men" -Kgriffin

ahh Kathy... join the club.

Kate said...

My mom feels the same way about Taylor Swift. Whenever I go home I get updates on Taylor. My mom is either completely disillusioned into thinking I'll become a pop-star if she talks about it enough, or is just incredibly depressed that her youngest daughter has not amounted to Taylor Swift fame.

Sandi said...

ohhh gingers...

William said...

Saying you hate Kathy Griffin and accepting that Meg and Kathy have similar humour is like saying that you hate Meg.

I will be boning up on my Kathy Griffin humour in order to fully appreciate the book and watch.

Steph P said...

comment! those watches are awesome

Katie said...

HILARIOUS, as always. I think this might be the opposite of no-post Mondays...super post Monday, maybe?

Lucky and Gizzy said...

Meglet,

you should've gotten tickets to the show for promoting it, right??

S said...

kathy griffin ftw!

Elizabeth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elizabeth said...

Every time Kathy Griffin says "peesh," somewhere an angel gets its wings.

Curry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yucca said...

i'm here to up the number of entries.

Matthew said...

by "similar fan base" you mean gay people. <3 pick me <3 Matt B.

Curry said...

I would like to have a Dixie Cup of Franzia wine with Kathy's mom.

Anonymous said...

Your mom.
-Allison

Mike said...

oh and if it means anything i don't do the bs movie version. just fyi:)

Abbie said...

Is...is "twat" the appropriate vernacular for...that thing? Ah, you kids and your internets. If only I had know that twitter involved twats! I would have jumped on that bandwagon a long time ago!

Carol said...

Hotdog! Consider me entered! I love me some Kathy Griffin.

mlkirwan said...

what can i say, i'm a sucker for free useless crap (does kathy griffin fall under that category)?

Tracy said...

a book sounds nice...or a watch... I'm down for whatevs

Kerri said...

143 Kevin Yang

Courtney said...

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg
KATHY GRIFFIN AND THINGS I CAN WEAR ON MY WRISTS!!!! omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

Nicole said...

You're mom sounds hilarious! And a bit crazy. I have a crazy mom.

Ana said...

Yes! Love this woman.

Princess Fluffybuns said...

I NEED that book! Please, please, please pick me.

vintagevogue said...

"not tossing around his christian name" could your mother be more awesome?

Linda said...

I laughed so hard at this. At work. Out loud. And I don't care.
This is ten shades of awesome.

anna said...

Glad you said yes to K.Griffin. I'm entering to win!

p.s- Love my Sorr bag...representing in Seattle.

Brittany said...

Woot! This is hilarious.

foroughirad said...

I can't believe the past tense of "tweet" is "twat". Crazy.

matt.bufford said...

Woohoo! Comment!

Meg said...

Love this. Love. Please enter me!

Stephanie M said...

Mexicans <3 KG! (and 2birds2blog) :D

Sarah said...

I'm in.

Laura said...

Oh my goodness....Kathy is a freaking golden god. I love her. This is a match made in heaven!

LemonLemonLemon said...

...I like cows...

Monica Carmean said...

If I win, and get a watch instead of a book, I'd rather just lose.

Anonymous said...

I just want one of those badass watches. ;)
-Kate

Travis said...

Love the blog and love Kathy

Monica Carmean said...

And by lose I mean: Dan can have my watch. XOXO

Anonymous said...

frankly I just want to see Diane and Kathy's mom 'tip it'

Erin said...

Kathy Griffin is on the next episode of "When I Was 17" on MTV. She discusses penises.

Miranda said...

I HEART Kathy! Oh, and you too, Meg.

Sarah K said...

i want to win and TIP IT with kathy and maggie!!!!

Caitlin said...

Boo-ya-ka-sha. Love me some Kathy.

Nikki L said...

anyone who tries to rebrand a snuggie into a snaggie - "a wearable drinking blanket with arms” is pretty awesome in my book!

Jenn from Ga said...

Who doesnt love Kathy Griffin!

Kate said...

I love Kathy! I also love her mom. I can't believe the things Maggie puts up with. Incredible.

Rachel said...

Amazing. I love Kathy Griffin and I love 2birds1blog, so that works out well.

emelye said...

"There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day. It's just that that's when they make doughnuts."

Allyson said...

best blog evaa. and kg is cool too.

Jessie said...

Wow! First I was sad because I thought there would be no post today. Not that I would ever hold that against you, but my days are approximately 1,000% better when I start them with a dose of Meg. Also fish oil.

But then! Not only a post but a Kathy Griffin/badass watch giveaway! Well done, madam.

melissa said...

Your mom is right. Both you and Kathy can't keep the funny stuff to yourselves - you have to take it to the people, from "sorr about the bag" to "tip it".

Toni said...

I love your blog and KG!!!!

Elisabethw said...

Wow, after reading this post I realized something: I feel the same way about you and this blog as your mom and Dan feel about Kathy Griffin. Soooo there's that.

Now, that I've essentially just admitted to having a full on hetero crush on you, how about we make this official? You, me, and a grilled meat date?

Meghan said...

I hope science calculates the karma points I picked up today when I rescued a co-worker that I've never met from walking out of the bathroom with her skirt tucked in her undies. That and I tried to get you a job at NAT GEO.

san said...

you know what would be awesome? if that promoter guy read that post and arranged to get you and your mom backstage at one of Kathy's shows in the DC area.

pipe dream?

regardless... ENTRY! :)

Amy said...

Enter me! Sorry I said that.

Justin said...

Dan's love of KG is like my love of Meghan McBlogger.

c-reader said...

are you sure that your mom wouldn't try to throw you down first to cushion the blow?

Andrea M said...

The best part of today was that I started reading this, then got distracted by work (it's rare, but it happens) and when I went back to slacking I realized I still had half of today's entry left. Sweet life.

Ryan said...

Your mom couldn't be more right!

Kelsey said...

Now that I think about it, your sense of humor is startlingly similar to kathy's. Perhaps it's a sign that you'll soon be rich and famous...

Anna said...

Kathy Griffin is an even whiter Patrice.

Allie said...

Sign me up.

Jenna said...

Poor grad student likes Meghan McBlogger, Kathy Griffin, and free stuff. Gimme, gimme, please!

Land Locked with Bad Karma said...

I have no idea what time it is.
And I love reading.
In obvious need of giveaway stuff.

Kristen said...

ZOMG I <3 Kathy!!!!

lizzy p said...

i heart kathy griffin. and this blog. how awesome that they contacted you!

Kaitlyn A said...

Jesus, Mary and Joseph Kathleen!!

Shannon said...

omg I love the idea of KG guest blogging and Meg being on My Life on the D List!!

Kristina said...

I love both Meg and Kathy Griffin in a very big way!!

dewanesgirl said...

I love you and the blog you rode in on.

Carissa said...

Other than a deep and abiding affection for Kathy Griffin, I have to say that that is not the only reason I gaze at that book cover like it holds the meaning to life:
Has anyone else realized that it's a photo of her, holding the book with the same photo of her, holding the book WITH THE SAME PHOTO OF HER, etc., etc, etc. into ETERNITY...
That's literally an indefinite number of Kathy Griffins, and I think that idea just BLOWS. MY. MIND.
XOXO

Heather said...

Your mother is correct, you do have a similar sense of humor. That is why I love you both!!!

rachielove said...

Count me in for winning shiz-nit.

I think it's a mom thing to be BFFs with celebs. My pal's mom is constantly referring to Barry Manilow as "my Barry". It does no good to point out how far they are from ever having met.

xoxo.

greg said...

I'll trade you my Kathy Griffin mask for a prize...

Justine said...

Not only am I obsessed with you and your hysterical blog (which has caused my to pee "juuuuusstt a little" ala Beaver Birthday Card Style at work when I can't burst into inappropriately loud laughter) but I am also obsessed with Kathy Griffin!!

Valerie said...

Suh-WEEET! Maybe now I can finally add some class to my bookshelves!

jenny me said...

I would wish diahrrea on myself for dayz to win this!!!

Cassie H said...

It's a strange yet awesome coincidence that I am currently drinking boxed wine and watching TiVo-ed My Life on the Dlist episodes.

I love Kathy. I LOVE this blog. And I love contests. There's a whole lotta love going on right now.

Jenn- wizard of words, queen of the universe and all around great time! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn- wizard of words, queen of the universe and all around great time! said...

a. i love Kathy Griffin
b. i fell down the stairs saturday am after asking god to "show his face" and prove he exists by helping me get through "an issue" i was having.

Admin said...

yvan eht nioj!

Tony said...

dearest. meg.

if there's anything i love more than your blog, it might Kathy. and if there's anything i love more than both of you, it's free stuff.

pick me. oooh. over here!!!!!!!!!!!1

Caitlin said...

Meg,

Love your blog, am an AU alum as well (I managed to wrest my soul back from them shortly after graduation), and I do less than 3 Kathy Griffin as well!! Pick me please (oh and plus, my roommate and I discovered the Hangman ad for solar, cause we work for solar)

Love and Kisses!

Katie Q said...

COMMENT!!!!!

Maren said...

Kathy Griffen, Nathan Lane, and Tracy Morgan together on that really lame show called the Marriage Ref was one of the funniest things ever--pick me!! (oh, and i'm also a redhead)

Angie said...

oOoOoOoOooo i've had a girl crush on kathy griffin fo-ev-err...ever since i was a wee girl and she made an appearance on full house and she proceeded to make the show infinity times better by constantly BURNING all the obnoxious characters on the show. amazing.

Carrie Hunt said...

Holy crap, 156 people I will need to CRUSH over the internet in order to win...

pook555 said...

Yes and please! Pick me, pick me! Love Kathy Griffin!!

eliznerwin said...

i read this entire post mistakenly thinking you were talking about kathy lee gifford. i'm ashamed.

and also hope that i win...

Anonymous said...

greatest contest ever. hard to pick if i love meg or kath more... probs meg :)

Jennifer said...

I love me some Kathy Griffin, and I heart 2b1b. It's like a match made in heaven.

Shep said...

I lurve me some Kathy Griffin.

phryGIAN said...

So, this is my first comment on 2birds1blog which is weird because i've been super obsessed with it for almost a year now...I guess it's the allure of free stuff. Whooo free stuff.

Maggie G said...

Woohoo! Love Kathy Griffin - great giveaway!

queenmargot said...

"I'm a lady, goddammit." -- Kathy Griffin

Brie Bangs said...

Kathy Griffin on Chelsea Lately gave me multiple orgasms. Winning this contest might do the same (please, I beg you... it's been too long...)

Morgan said...

is it too late to win?!?!?!?! Because I'm pretty sure me and Kathy Griffin were separated at birth...well twenty-so years apart....lol. and I ADORE her.

Claire said...

I'm about an hour away from kathy griffin! whoa my god. i need tickets.

Kenneth said...

I kinda hope that "Mike" wins, with the comment "I hate Kathy Griffin", just because I'm a fan of irony. But rest of me (read: 99.95% of me) thinks I should win.

Thanks!

-Kib

Christopher said...

Meg, you bet your sweet ass I want some free stuff.

Juskimo said...

I have always wondered whether your claims of no one ever taking you up when they ask you out via the blog is because

1) they cannot stand the pressure of being out with a woman knowing that if something goes hilariously wrong (and you seem to have a track record of such events occurring in and or around your vicinity), that the story will be recounted not only for her friends, family, co-workers, people on the metro, and other assorted flotsam from her life, but to a much larger audience here; or

2) they cannot fathom the idea that you are not as smart, funny, sarcastic, attractive, etc. as they have imagined you would be and that any real life Meg will not have any chance against Imaginary Awesome Meg and they will inevitably be disappointed; or

3) they are all giant pussies.

Lacey said...

I will bring you your takeout for a year when they refuse to deliver to you and tell you to leave the house although obvi you don't have pants on.

AND, I will sell Sorr about the bag bags on the corner with Street Sense people: My spiel: You know, buy a $1 newspaper and a $20 bag to put it in! Just go get 4000 bags worth of groceries and it LITERALLY will pay for itself! Don't ever have to apologize for hitting someone with your bag on the Metro--it's already done it for you!!!1 (Though it can't apologize for your pole leaning--I mean, come on, it's just a bag--get off the f***** m***** pole!) AND you can stick a Pug in it and carry it around--all for just $20!!!!1

Hell, I just sold myself. I'm gonna go buy one now.

So, give me tickets--or a book--or maybe just come over and cuddle later?

Katie said...

BALLS!

...that's all...I just wanted to say it...in all caps.

Amadeus said...

Been reading your blog for quite some time-- love it!! And, as a fellow Kathy fan and BFF to the gay community, count me in!

Lacey said...

ALSO--addendum to my earlier post.

To message a facebook group, go to that group's page; Select the Edit Page link under the page's main picture; Select the Send an Update link on the right side of the page under the Promote Your Page heading; Enter your message (you can target specific audiences if you want to); Select Send!!!!1


AND: go here to invite all of your facebook friends to your group or event page all at once--he tells you how to use a script to do it--it's magnificent!!!1 http://tiny.cc/jifj2

and now I have been über helpful and my work here is done.

....and I still want to cuddle and win Kathy Griff (all of her), in that order.

sean said...

omg entry!

First time I typed that I wrote omb, not omg, which just made me think of that horrible, horrible band. I just thought you should know/join in my pain.

Ginny said...

I never win things, but what the hell. You get me so excited about stuff, Meg.

Daniel said...

Consider me entered, after baring my soul. Of course, I'm entering in the contest that involves going to see Kathy Griffin with you.

<3 love ta love ya

Daniel said...

Also I was fairly sure that story about "Kyle" was actually about me.

Adria said...

If I had a dollar for how many times my friends and family have said, "You should definitely do stand up! You could be the next Kathy Griffin!" I'd have enough money to dry my laundry for six minutes in my NYC laundromat.

(In case your emotions are too intense for that googling and math, that's 1/4 of a person...I think she mispoke and meant to say "Chelsea Handler", but I relate to redheads more than the word cosslopis anyway.

bard531 said...

dear meggles,

firstly, i would like to submit my candidacy for the give away. not only do i like kathy but also free stuff.

secondly, i would like to suggest some kind of commission program for 2b1b. you see, i have been diligently gathering a loyal legion of new fans for the 2b1b army. i also integrate your coined phrases in my daily life as i too am "aspie-anxious" on the phone, i get rull intense feelings sometimes, athankyouverymuch.

i will take my commission in the form of: accepting my friend request on facebook, a cosmic high-five, a 2b1b shout-out (jus'sayin')

Casey said...

COMMENT/ENTRY! ps you're way funnier than kathy, even if she is your aunt. ish.

Adrienne said...

I think we need to start a twitter campaign for Meg to be Kathy's new assistant/joke-writer.

passenyeah said...

ZOMG I want aN watch! I haven't had one since 1997!

Iwona said...

Dan sold me on the book before you even mentioned the give away prize.

Save me a trip to the store!

Westie said...

I love Kathy! I think you guys really should be bffls!

Laura said...

count me in.

katmandu said...

I really love books and I feel like Kathy Criffin in book form is possibly one of the best things. EVER.

#9 said...

love it !!! Kathy is the greatest

Mademoiselle Hautemess said...

"Because that's like a competition to kill yourself and the winner gets raped."

Meg, I think I fall a little deeper in love with each and every day...

acb010 said...

Meg, I love you and my watch is broken and I don't have the money to fix it. If you'd like to hook me up I'd appreciate it... if not, I won't love you any less! *mwah*

Margaret said...

OH MY GOD!!! I know I'm a day late, but I swear I'm more worthy than Kevin Yang!! PICK MEEEE!!!!!

Kate said...

Let me join the D-List: Pick me!

Anne said...

You know how SOMETIMES the fourth wall is broken on TV or in movies and for a second it really unnerves you? Because you're all "Whoa, you guys. That just got really personal and those writers do not even know me. I'm, um ... I'm pretty sure I'm not known to them."

THIS POST. THIS POST broke the fourth wall for me.

Official Entry Comment! Team Kathy!

Rachel said...

I am also a ginger.

in_a_blink photography said...

Yay for winning things!

agonzalez said...

zomg i'm kinda embarrassed by ow much i suddenly want one of those books

Whit.Norton said...

Ah! Am I too late? In my defense, it's still Monday in Minnesota where 2b1b gets me through my day among the Lutheran beige...

Libby said...

Sign me the eff up! I heart K-Griff!

nikka. said...

KATHY GRIFFIN?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

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