10.04.2010

WHERE'S OUR GIVEAWAY, YA LAIR!!!1

Dear world:

I know I promised you a blog giveaway and an embarrassing picture of myself in middle school today. You will get that tomorrow. Because right now, I am having a "moment." Why? Because my attempt at making this little fart joke blog into a real job has failed tremendously and I am struggling with that fact while I simultaneously drink a lot of wine and look for jobs. Failure is rough man. However, god bless my friends like Dan. OH WAIT, Dan is leaving me to go to Abu Dhabi for 45 days and where does that leave me? Alone, unemployed and my finger is brunt from roasting a marshmallow with a corn on the cob holder over my stove when I was high. OW. So yes, comedy and giveaway tomorrow. Right now I need to job hunt a-wasted. Because I have failed. As Prince of Petworth predicted.

XOXO,
Meg

86 comments:

Anonymous said...

NaNoWriMo+lulu

I believe in you Meg McBlogger!

Brittan said...

it may take longer than you hoped (and not be easy), but i know you will be successful. you have a huge following and so many people depend on you to get them through their week. we will rally behind you!

Sarah P said...

Hey, asshole. PAYPAL. We would donate.

Well, I wouldn't because I'm a freeloader, but people would, is what I'm saying.

Anonymous said...

Do you get any revenue from the blog?
Put up some ads! I will click them everyday just to get you some $!

Stephanie said...

I wish this blog was the most successful blog on the entire internet. Because that's how much I love and appreciate it. It's literally the most important blog. I'm kind of high and it's both overwhelming and kind of funny how hard I am loving on this blog right now. Aaaaaaah.

Anyway, please don't leave us ever, we love you.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Stephanie. I'll have you know that when I started reading your blog I loved it so much that I went back and read every entry starting from the beginning. Creepy? Maybe. Worth it? YES.

Anna said...

I hate Prince of Petworth for you and I have never even read his blog

CaitBel said...

Prince of Petworth sucks. Meg and Chris rule. That is all.

Anonymous said...

Love you guys! I really hope this can truly turn into something great for you - you are amazing McBlogger :o)

Shannon said...

Anonymous #3, I don't think its creepy at all.
But maybe cause that's what I did too...

Anonymous said...

I don't even know who the fuck the prince of petworth is but he def doesn't compare to you guys! So suck it up and put some ads on this here blog! That's what mark zuckerberg did and then his former bffl and some twins with impossibly comical last names sued him! And then Aaron sorkin made a movie! Don't you want this to be your life? I will click on the ads every day many times a day!

Anonymous said...

brunt. love it. mistype or not- whatev. yall are so real and i'm into it. i've loved this blog for so long and i think you - BOTH OF YOU - are unreal and i love you for it. sorry if its wrong to say so, but here i am doing so. keep up the good work, can't wait to see a lil baby meg in the AM.

Anonymous said...

I hated Prince of Petworth because he was a dick to you, but I finally bothered to go to his blog and I want those 45 seconds of my life back. Pictures of landscaping and coffee houses? And they weren't even accompanied by witty commentary!! Seriously, fuck that guy. Also Meg, I'm on a neverending job search and would be happy to look out for you too.

T&G said...

One struggling blog master to another (although not even remotely as close to being as funny as you) don't give up the hope. Your blog makes my dreary little life just a little better.

Meg said...

Meg, I agree with every comment on here - and look, there aren't any mean ones (at least as of 9:14 AM EST). Don't give up - you are what gets so many of us through the week. And seriously we will click on your ads and we will donate to PayPal - put that sh*t up!!

Anonymous said...

I read the Prince of Petworth because as crappy as it sometimes gets, at least the content is fresh. Maybe there's a lesson there.

Anonymous said...

you should put ads up. CHS does it, you should ask Belle how it works

Anonymous said...

Don't give UP! You can totally make money off of this blog. I was going to buy merch but the sorr about the bags were sold out!

You can't sell ad space? I find that hard to believe since you win all these contests--I'm sure local restaurants would love some cheap ad space on this site. Whatever you want your fans to do to help you I'm sure we can do!

If my high school yearbook can get advertisements, so can your blog!

(re)becca said...

I agree with the PayPal/ad comments, but in the meantime: sign up for a temp agency! They've saved my friends from soooo many desperate situations. Where I'm working right now I started out an intern, and because they wanted to keep me on at a contractor I had to go sign up at Randstad, which is near Dupont/Farragut. If you want me to "refer" you let me know. My organization has had two doing data entry for the past couple months, PLUS my very own web department is looking to get a temporary web writer and a temp-to-possible-hire photo editor, both of which I would happily recommend you for, but I'm 95% everything has to go through Randstad ...

Anyway, the only email address I have has my first and last name so I don't really want to post it here. BUT, I will come back to check these comments. Let me know if you're interested in a. signing up for Randstad (I think I have to refer you) and/or b. these two temp jobs in particular, and I'll try to dig some stuff up.

WE BELIEVE IN YOU!!

Anonymous said...

i love you too meg & chris!! maybe it's sad that i sometimes depend on this blog to get me through bad days but i'm not ashamed to admit it! you guys are hilarious and quirky and real, and that's awesome! i would also click on ads if it means keeping this blog running, because i definitely don't want to see you guys stop writing. meg, you got me addicted to the jersey shore (which is just really funny entertainment and always makes me feel better about my life) and chris, i love your worst of netflix posts! you guys rock, and we're all behind you 100%! :)

Lolo said...

and my finger is brunt from roasting a marshmallow with a corn on the cob holder over my stove when I was high

possibly the funniest image i have had in my head ever. Also that sounds like such a good idea. if i didn't have to light my stove with a match and pray my eyebrows don't get burnt (brunt?) off I would do it. also i don't have corn on the cob holders. or marshmallows.

You guys are amazing. these things work out in the end. JUCANDOIT!

Anonymous said...

I agree with the temp agency idea. I got an awesome job that i'm in love with near Dupont Circle and I went through the temp agency Elite Personnel in Bethesda. They were really quick too, I had a job within 2 weeks. However, I think I remember you mentioning in a past post that you went through a temp agency before, so I'm guessing that maybe you are avoiding them now?

Anonymous said...

MEG. i am such a huge fan, and am legitimately worried about you. there is only one (realistic) option:

YOU SHOULD HAVE A CHARITY BAR NIGHT. FOR YOURSELF.

i wholeheartedly believe that all of your fans would love to come out and support you and throw a little cash your way. jagerball deux? charge a small cover, keep the proceeds, and let's drink!

Lauren said...

...I would definitely come to a charity bar night in reference to the post above mine. Just saying.

LoLo said...

My boyfriend and I would 100% travel from NY to DC for that.

Meredith said...

I agree with waht (re)becca said. (Btw, (re)becca, you can email Meg on the email she has listed on the main blog page. She responds.)

Meg, temping is probably a good idea for now, but for more permanent work, you also might want to look into applying at the various universities in the area, if you haven't already. I work at GWU. I don't like my job (bc my boss is crazy) but the benefits are incredible. Paid leave, REAL health care, 96% tuition benefits if you decide to pursue a master's degree... the list goes on. Not to mention actual job security. So, even if it's just a secretary position, it might be worth looking into.

https://www.gwu.jobs/

Jmarls80 said...

You bring so much joy into my lame daily life. I would absolutely donate to this blog. I think you're fabulous!

Anonymous said...

TOTALLY DOWN FOR A CHARITY BAR NIGHT.

we all waste our money at bars on the weekends, and i would much rather waste it knowing that a portion was going to you and 2b1b.

hang in there! i've read your blog while stuck in a personal rut/unhappy with things. and even when the entries are more sad than funny, they always make my day better! we love you!

Anonymous said...

Compile all your blog posts into a book and sellll that shiz! Hello Oprah's couch (or whoever fills her void) and late night tv show interviews!

Blake said...

I already gave you my idea for a PBS style telethon which was rejected because you didn't think people would actually pay. To which I say, "DISAGREE." I bet the AU call center is hiring though I imagine that is a job that is worse than death.

Patti said...

I notice you added a PayPal account to your website!!!!!

Sarah P said...

OMG. Charity Bar Night.

Except, can you please call it The Pity Party?

Thanks.

Jen said...

Sarah P,
Every time you leave a comment, I want to slap you.
Jus' sayin'...

Meggles...let us give you money, please. The fact that we have to ask you to do so...come on!

"Mike" said...

You know your life has reached a new low when....

Meredith said...

Teehee. When you make a donation it says you've made a donation to Meghan McBlogger. That warms my heart.

Anonymous said...

people are actually dumb enough to give money to a complete stranger?

Anonymous said...

She's not a complete stranger! She's our Meggles!

Anonymous said...

2b1b is easily the best blog of every one that I follow.

We are all rooting for you.

Kerri said...

totes donated :)

Anonymous said...

I'm excited to donate once I start my new job & start getting paychecks for the first time in 4 months!

Also- try retail stores, they're starting their seasonal hiring now. I used to work at Macy's and it was honestly one of my favorite summer jobs ever. Plus, while it wasn't a ton, I got paid $9.75 an hour and that was in 2008.

Steph said...

I would TOTALYL drive down from NJ for a charity bar night if it meant i got to meet Meg

Anonymous said...

I donated, but it was contingent on you updating the blog now and then. Don't feel too pressured, I only gave you a dollar.

Anonymous said...

I am very pumped to donate once you start providing the service (timely updates) that you've promised.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes, it just feels good to do something nice for someone else. That's why we're referring to this as a donation, not a subscription payment.

Assholes.

William said...

Giving money to a complete stranger? Every time I pay a bill my money is going to a stranger.

Too good to drop a few coins or a dollar bill into the homeless man's cup? He's a stranger.

I'll gladly give someone who provides me entertainment ( donation or heaven forbid a subscription ) so that they can get themselves back on their feet and continue to provide me that "service".

Meredith said...

Thank you, Anonymous 1:17 and William! I don't understand why it's such an issue to help someone out if you can. If you can't, then don't. I'm not giving my life's savings, but I won't be going out to lunch on Friday. Big deal.

Also, seriously. Why do so many people feel the need to be assholes? I am continually blown away by the shit that people say when they can do it anonymously on the Internet, bc you know you wouldn't say it if you were talking to Meg, or anyone, in person. Have some compassion for your fellow human beings.

Anonymous said...

Okay. I've read this blog for about a year now, and I love it. But lately the lack of posting and the lack of funniness is making me want to take 2b1b off my reading list, which sucks because I check it every day. What I don't understand is how you don't have time to post blah blah blah but you have time to make a pay pal account for us to donate? Don't get me wrong: 6 months ago I totally would have, but seeing as you barely post, I really don't think I'd be getting my money's worth

Anonymous said...

So glad the paypal link is up! I just donated. Sounds like there is a lot of support for JaegerBall Part Duex! I was at the first one and Town Tavern did not EVEN know what hit them. 1 bartender? hahahahaha, clearly they don't know us. I also think the google links is a good idea, it would be so easy to click on a link every time I read

Anonymous said...

I was also going to suggest possibly moving back home with the folks. But I see on twitter that you're not talking to your parents?!?!? when did that happen?? Diane McBlogger was just an awesome surprise guest this week - she must be speaking to you. You've gotta fill us in or we can't help you.

KJ said...

Just donated to my favorite bloggers! Keep hope alive.

Anonymous said...

Saw on twitter that you're looking for temp agencies - The BOSS Group specializes in print and graphic design

Anonymous said...

What the hell is wrong with people?

I just don't understand the problem...if you don't want to donate, then don't.

Anyway, sorry about the tough times Meg! Hope things get better and you get back on your feet!

You should start writing a book in your spare time...the best humor typically comes out of the hardest times

-Tina

Santa Chiara said...

The difference between a really great personal blog or column and, say, a comedy website like Cracked.com or something, is that you feel like you know the writer. I have a lengthy list of lunch-break blogs and websites that I read for entertainment at my desk, and my favorites are the ones where I feel like I have a personal relationship with the writer (like Meg and Tulane Chris, or Dear Sugar at The Rumpus, or the Fug Girls, or Tom and Lorenzo). It's like the difference between someone sending you a funny email forward vs. a friend telling you an embarrassing-slash-hilarious story.

I happily sent in a donation to keep 2birds1blog alive, partly because we pay for things that make us laugh all the time (books, movies, magazines, stand-up comedy shows . . .) so it's not like it's such a shocking and horrifying concept that it should give us all the vapors, and partly because, like so many members of the 2birds army, I feel like I know Meg and Chris, and I feel personally invested in their welfare in a way that I don't with, like, the morons on Failblog. Still makes me laugh, but no personal investment.

Internet anonymity makes it exponentially easier to justify behaving like an asshole, which is why a disproportionate number of the snarky commenters on this blog post anonymously. Those of us who care what happens to Meg, however - not just because she's a faceless provider of lunch break comedy but because she is a real live human being - proudly sign our own names.

Stay strong, Meggles, the 2birds army has your back.

Kisses,
Claire Willett

Sarah P said...

Seriously? I got a comment hater?

Is it because my comments are super, super serious and I really think the birds are assholes and think they should have a charity bar night called The Pity Party?

Because I am a very serious person that way.

Or you could suck it, Jen. Either way.

Anonymous said...

Sarah P, I support you and enjoy your comments!

Santa Chiara said...

Sarah, "The Pity Party" caused me an honest-to-God snort of laughter.

Ali said...

"OMG, YOU GUYS NEVER POST ANYMORE, I'M SOOOO THREATENING TO STOP READING. BUT INSTEAD, I'LL KEEP COMING BACK TO LEAVE WHINY COMMENTS ABOUT HOW IT UPSETS ME AS A READER!"

Shut the fuck up already.

Anonymous said...

hey dude-sorry you're feeling so low. i kind of feel like shit right now too, and am having a really hard time being an effective student, family member, friend, or citizen. buck up, though, and hold your head high--everyone here loves you. or at least dislikes you enough to tell you about it. we should all be so lucky.

Susan said...

in relation to the comments section, does anyone else ever find themselves mentally cobbling together a metaphor between 2b1b and frankenstein?

YOU'VE CREATED A MONSTER!

(next time i hear The Mash -- should be any day now! -- i'll think fondly upon you, b^2.)

no but seriously. don't post for a couple days; let the chips fall where they may. i predict something on the scale of the Milgram experiment.

rebecca said...

Ali, You hit the nail on the head...

Meg and Chris--Keep doing your thing, everything works out in the end. I hope everything thats going on with you both, isnt as bad as it sounds, but just know the majority of 2b1b followers are behind you. Who cares about the rest.

Anonymous said...

Hi Meggles and T C,

Been to the paypal site and donated. You both are extremely talented people. Plus damm funny folks. Your army will follow and supporters will always follow. The naysayers are still obviously obsessed with you, cause they can't stop themselves from visiting your blog and leaving nasty comments. Still means you're both important in many people's lives. Can you raid Evie's piggy bank/ trust fund? Best advice-- work it out with the parental McBloggers.
Everything will turn around for you.

Morgan said...

I've been harassing you with love on twitter (does that make me "twitterpated"? I vote yes!) but was reminded a few minutes ago about how the LOLZ from your blog kept me smiling through a particularly atrocious time in my life. I didn't say it then, but I'll say it now; thanks for brightening some very gloomy days. I wish I could return the favor in some way. If I wasn't already out of money this month I would totes donate. For now, I'll just say thanks and promise to donate as soon as I can. :0) Thanks for the sunshine, hope yours comes back soon.

Curry said...

Why don't you change it to 2birds1blog.org that way our donations are tax deductible. You should apply for 501(c)3 status and then can start reeling in the big bucks. I donated - enough to fund another MSG experiment. Don't give up!

Curry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Being that I have a soul, unlike some negative nellies on this board, how about we all just wish the birds good luck, and continue to check back to the site for a new posting and stop being so cranky if there isnt one.

Who cares what teh date stamp is - go back a year for some fun filled reading and check McBlogger's archives - STILL FUNNY STUFF!

Anonymous said...

I hope everything works out, you are hilarious! Bitches be bitches, don't worry about 'em.

Trish said...

What if Meg is actually an evil genius, and these days without posting and talking about how difficult things are is actually a way to get us all to donate to her paypal account to fund her increasingly diabolical plans to destroy DC by strapping lasers to Evie and letting her roam the streets?

I mean, it's not an entirely unthinkable possibility.

(Love to Meg and TC, and hope everything turns out to be hunky-dory.)

Anonymous said...

Day 3. I'm so cold.

PLEASE COME BACK.

Anonymous said...

meggles we miss you! can you give us a super-short update post just to let us know you're still alive?

yeahdudetotally said...

imagine that instead of your teacher or whatever being pissed off that you didn't do your homework everyday, that a bunch of your friends and their friends and their friends were really just totally disappointed and upset that you didn't do your homework and publicly stated as much.

that sounds like it sucks and i feel badly for you, 2 little birds.

Anonymous said...

I am legitimately starting to worry that you're dead. D: Just one sentence is all we need to know you're okay!

Sarah said...

Hey Meg and Chris, hope you're both doing okay. :)

"Mike" said...

So who wants to talk burritos?

abbey said...

Screw tgi Hagman. I vote for tgi Meggles tomorrow. We worry and there isn't a handy website to comfirm your aliveness. Your readers are worried!

Hope life sorts itself out for you. ::hugs::

Rachel said...

Love this blog. It always makes me laugh. And these mean anonymous comments, probably all POP wishing he didn't always come in 2nd place. Meg we are all behind you!

Santa Chiara said...

I think we can all agree that the real culprit here is Kevin Yang.

Anonymous said...

Meg & Chris- We love you, take your time coming back, if you have can let us know how your doing!
I made a small donation, hope it helps. Seriously, riddle this blog with ads and I will click them, etc.

Anonymous said...

"I think we can all agree that the real culprit here is Kevin Yang." Hahaha, true that! Hang in there bloggers! You guys rock! :)

Anonymous said...

All you commenters (ors?) asking for mini updates... that's called twitter. She just posted something asking if anyone has connections at the georgetown law library. Definitely alive.

Anonymous said...

These two incredibly talented people don't us anything, so I say stop posting mean comments and biting the hand that feeds you FREE entertainment every day.

GO MEG AND CHRIS!!! You're awesome, we love you, and we'll still be here when you come back.

Anonymous said...

Meggles - I've been totally pro-blog when you want/can but SERIOUSLY you've been tweeting at 2am. If you can TWEET then, you can BLOG then too. We aren't asking for much, just a hello.

Jan

Ps-you putting up a paypal link to beg the 2birds1blog army for $$$ without so much as a 2 line blog post saying "hey guys, link is up. Donate!!!!1 :)" is really rude. You clearly read the comments but you just never write any more?!

There are a billion free places with internet in the metro area; if you wanted to make posts, I would.

Anonymous said...

MEG MCBLOGGER YOU ARE THE BEST

Casey said...

It sucks getting older and feeling like a failure, but we've all been there. Your blog literally gets me through the day sometimes, and it's become a ritual for me to sit down at my desk, eat my lunch, and read your daily postings. It's weird, but I can't read anything else during lunch!! So hang in there, for your sake and ours. This blog - and your writing career - will blow up someday, no doubt.

Amanda said...

I live in CA, but I love this blog and would do anything to keep it up...It totally makes my day!

Ellen in Chicago said...

You are wonderful! You will conquer those emotions and have a fantastic, successful, fulfilling life.

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