12.15.2010

You Know What Ruffles My Feathers?: XXX Edition

Porn: can't live with it, can't get off without it. Or at least so goes my current masturbatory conundrum. I'm going to level with you: I watch a fair bit of pornography. Not in like a I'm-a-30-year-old-IT-consultant-with-a-World-of-Warcraft-zine-and-a-blow-up-doll-named-Mizuki kind of way, but in what I consider to be a healthy way. Porn is a necessity for me for a few reasons:

1.) I'm lazy. (But that's a given.)

2.) I have a god awful imagination

3.) I'm high-strung

4.) I have the attention span of a 10-year-old boy, two liters of Mountain Dew deep

1 + 2 + 3 + 4 = "OK. Here we go. I'm going to think of something really hot. Let's see...two people. Two people fuckin'. But where? An...outcropping? Is it an 'outcrop' or an 'outcropping'? Outcropping is the verb, right? Although in what context would a portion of exposed rock be used as a verb? Or is that the difference between a verb and an action verb? I should google this. NO. Two people having sex, FOCUS. So they're having sex on...a rock. You know, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense to me that 'outcropping' would be the noun and 'outcrop' is the verb. AN outcropping. The boulders outcropped over time. That sounds right, right? Kind of? Fuck it, I'll just play some online Family Feud until I fall asleep and call it a night."

Not to mention the fact that it's hard for me to get in the mood. In order for me to function on a daily basis and, you know, not kill myself or another human being (HA HA, me), I take two different kinds of antidepressants, both of which are the pharmaceutical equivalent of dipping your genitals into a vat of ice water while watching Schindler's List. They absolutely destroy my sex drive. And I realize the obvious solution is to ask my psychiatrist to switch my meds, but I can't bring myself to talk to him about anything to do with sex. He's this adorable little old man named Floyd who wears cable knit sweaters year-round and always has absurdly shiny loafers and he loves talking to me about architecture and his grandchildren and I can't bring myself to look into those two kind, old eyes and say, "EXCUSE ME SIR—I CAN'T COME!!!!" Plus, that'll obviously lead into a conversation about how, "It says here in your file that you're not married and you're not in a relationship?" And I'll have to admit, "I know. I've got no one. I just stay up all night masturbating and watching 'Cash Cab'. And not necessarily in that order."

So, my solution is porn. That being said, there's a growing trend in pornography today that I'm not on board with. And it's affecting not only my sex life, but more near and dear to me these days, my masturbatory life. I didn't even know I felt so passionately about this subject until I started ranting about it to Tulane Chris the other week for what some may consider an "uncomfortably long amount of time". I gave Teresa the same speech the other day and when I finished, she just looked deep into my eyes and after a long, silent pause said, "You need to tell the world about this." It would be a privilege and an honor. So, you know what ruffles my feathers? Spit in porn.

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Spit in porn. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're probably not old enough. I recommend you talk to a parent, family friend, community leader or trusted Rabi. However, because I'd like to avoid any and all "I'm really mature for my age, Meggles! Can you tell me what's up?" emails that'll bump me up a few uncomfortable notches on the Phil Spector ladder, I'll get more specific here in public. There are three instances where spit is becoming more and more prevalent in porn:

1.) Cunnilingus. A gentleman has wined and dined his lady friend. He takes her back to his condo, lights a few scented candles and pours two glasses of '08 Turning Leaf Merlot. He gently lays her down on his Sealy Posturepedic and reads a few passages from Christopher Marlowe's The Passionate Shepherd to His Love aloud to her. When he sees that her bosom is heaving just right, he lifts her modest A-line skirt, pulls down her red cotton briefs and buries his face in her warm womanhood as she writhes in ecstasy.

And then he pulls back ten inches and to hocks a loog directly onto her genitals. Because nothing says love like making her crotch feel like a stadium floor, post Brooks & Dunn concert.

2.) Fellatio. I'll give you that saliva is an incredibly necessary party of a good blow job. Or really any blow job. I know this because I've tried to give one without and the results were challenging, at best. Although in my defense, drugs and alcohol were in the mix and nothing gives you dry mouth like a metric ton of light beer and handful of pain killers. After a rowdy night out at the bar, I went back to a gentleman friend's house and we started hooking up. (This really isn't pertinent to the story, but I need you to know solely for the LOLZ factor that this was playing on repeat in the background the entire time:


I undid said gentleman's pants to discover the biggest dick I had ever seen in real life. Like to the point where it wasn't an exciting discovery, it was more, "Oof. This is too much for a Thursday." I started going down on him and it was an all-around sad state of affairs. Not only did I have a vicious case of dry mouth, I felt like I was trying to squeeze Dom Deluise into a pleather mini-dress. Sensing my teeth were in the mix way more than they should be, I tried to cover them with my lips and distinctly recall not being able to and internally shouting, "MY GOD—THERE'S NO ROOM AT THE INN! THERE'S NO ROOM AT THE INN!!!" This of course begs the question: when Joseph and Mary were turned away from the inn and Mary was forced to give birth to the son of God in a manger, do you think she ever stopped and thought, "This is going to going to compliment a blow job joke 2,000 years from now perfectly."?

I glanced up from my #blowFAIL and grabbed a half empty can of beer on the night stand, desperate for the lubrication. (To answer your question, yes, it is now on my bucket list to have a Lifetime movie made about my life called, Half Empty Can of Beer on the Night Stand & Desperate for Lubrication: The Meg McBlogger Story.) I finished the beer, took a deep breath and wondered how the hell I was going to do this. And that's when I looked down and realized that my gentleman friend had 100% passed out. Now, I realize that normally when the person you've been fellating for the past ten minutes passes out on you, it's not a "compliment" per se, but honestly, I've never been so relieved in my entire life. I felt like I had woken up and realized I forgot to study for a test, only to have my mom tell me to go back to bed because it's a snow day. Except in this case I got to turn the shitty techno music off, re-hinge my jaw and go to bed. But, you know, semantics.

My entire point being: while I admit that saliva is a necessary part of a blow job, there's no need to shove a dick down your throat until you regurgitate half of a turkey sandwich all over it like you're feeding a god damn baby bird.

3.) As a lubricant in Sex. 1 & 2 are more prevalent, but this certainly happens more than I feel is Kosher.

It's important to note that while I think that spit in porn is offensive (and how!), it's not because it's degrading. Because degradation has its place in the porn world and I respect that. If you want someone to chain you to a wall and nail you with eggs while they call you a whore—cool. If you think that's hot, I say go with God. Because you know what I think is hot? John Larroquette, a Chipotle burrito and three hours set aside exclusively for napping. To each her own. What offends me is that I think spit is disgusting, yet I'm constantly bombarded with it mainstream porn. I find it all very problematic on the following levels:

- It blue balls me every time. (Or blue ovaries...?) Admittedly, I have an odd aversion to spit. Making out doesn't bother me and I'm fine with being gone down on (I encourage it, in fact!), but I find any other interaction with spit just plain foul and unnecessary. If you held a gun to my head and said, "Either suck this lollipop after I do or I'll shoot you in the head"—tell my mother I love her. Spit just really, really grosses me out and I have zero apologies about it. Which is why I don't appreciate it when I get into a scene and I'm almost about to cross my t's and dot my i's and all of a sudden the spit starts flying like it's a Best of Skoal video. It's disgusting and I completely lose momentum and it's hard to recover from something like that. It's like your parents walking in on you. After that happens you're not all, "Geez, that was embarrassing. Now where was I...?" No. You go to therapy. For years and years and years.

- It's never not shocking when it happens. Even though it's becoming more and more popular (much to my chagrin), I never expect it. It's like the Trojan Horse of porn. Except instead of bunch of Greeks inside, it's just a giant string of spit.

- It doesn't belong in mainstream porn. Look, I'm not here to judge; if you're into it, that's fine. I suppose on some level I can see where it could be hot. I mean, it's primitive and animistic and if it were any other fluid besides spit, (or urine. Or blood. Tears are OK.) (Side note: DO NOT google "cry fucking" to see if it's a real thing. It is. And it's horrible.) maybe I could get into it. But it's not; it's spit. So I'm out and I don't want to see it in my every day, mainstream porn. I argue instead that it should be in it's own sub-genre of BDSM porn and there it shall forever stay. I was on the phone with Tulane Chris earlier tonight venting about this very topic (because when people ask me, "What's up?", this is usually the answer. It shouldn't shock you if when I'm done writing this, I take a picture of it, print a 2 x 3 copy and keep it in my wallet to show people at holiday parties and family functions.), and upon googling "spit in porn", I discovered that "spit-swapping" is a porn fetish. Although I'll probably take 16 showers tonight knowing that that exists, I appreciate that it stays in its own lane. At least I don't need to worry every time I stumble upon a new clip on Fleshbot that all of a sudden someone's going to start pouring a martini glass of saliva down their own throat out of nowhere. And if that does start happening? Suicide pill. Because I don't want to live in that world, thank you very much. (I'd just like it to be known that during our conversation tonight, Chris also said, "Have you ever noticed that spit in porn is always so opaque? Do you think they make them eat special herbs to make it so shiny?" 17 showers.)

- Its integration into mainstream porn sends a message to sexual novices that it's what they should be doing too. Major mainstream porn producers need to accept that they're responsible for shaping the sexual repertoire of the youth of America. When The Kids starting having The Sex, 9 times out of 10 they look to porn to show them the way. (Which, interestingly enough, is the same reason why I insist on wearing a pearl choker, fuchsia lipstick and blue eyeshadow when I have sex. No complaints thus far.) But do you know what 99.9% of mainstream porn today is telling kids to do? Spit on each other's junk. And ew! Spitting shouldn't be an assumed part of sex—it's something you should probably have a chat with your partner about before doing. You wouldn't haphazardly shove an eel up someone's ass on a first date, so take some time to get the green light on spit.

- There's a rape-y grey area. 'Ehh...I mean, I feel weird taking this somewhere serious because the majority of my argument really is: Spit—GROSS! But it's worth noting that when you tell hundreds of thousands of teenage boys that it's OK to use their spit as lube, you're also telling them that it's OK if she's not ready yet; that there are ways of getting around that. Getting wet is a lady's biological way of putting out the welcome mat. If she's inviting you in, then by all means enjoy the party. However, if you're not welcome, you're not welcome. And that's the message we should be driving into kids heads, not that you can hack up a shortcut if she's being a Frigid McPrudenstein.

- It happened to me. Really when you get down to brass tacks, a guy I used to hook up with spat on me right before we had sex, it was revolting, I sterilized my vagina in the dishwasher, and I'm sick of being reminded of it every time I want to get off. He was on top and right after he put the condom on, he looked down, conjured up a big spit ball, and let it drop onto my nethers. It had never happened to me and at that point I had never even seen it in porn. "Uhhhh," I said as I shifted my eyes back and forth and wondered if anything would ever be the same again. Ever. "Well that was romantic." "Sorry, I'm just trying to get things going," he said in an irritated tone. Oh, I'M sorry! I'M sorry! Far be it from me to ruin your evening by not being a Slip 'n Slide after two minutes of hand-holding. And I had no idea you were having tea with the Queen later and were on such a tight schedule! Is there anything else you'd like to do before you go? Blow your nose on my arm? Cough Avian flu directly into my lungs perhaps?

If I'm not wet enough to your liking, here are two ways to expedite the process: 1.) Work slightly harder. I know coming from me of all people that's kind of a mighty pill to swallow, but if the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, the way into my pants is on or around my neck. It' not that hard. (Baha...) 2.) Lube. Call me old-fashioned, but I've got a bottle and it gets the job done. One time Ex Co-Blogger Chris came over and we made up a song about it, key lyric being: "bottle-a lube, bottle-a lube, I keep it in plain view cuz I'm proud of my sex life." (late 2009: different times.) Point being; I had some, we could have used it. I jut don't understand why in God's name spit was the natural choice over lube or foreplay. That's like if you can't find what you're looking for at the mall and your immediate reaction is to burn that mother to the ground. Take a giant step backwards. Phone a friend. Re-think your options.

And that's when he said it: "Well, it's what they do it porn." That was his justification for hacking up a lung onto my birth canal. That it's what they "do in porn." You know what else they do in porn? Donkeys. Old people. Old people doing donkeys. Are you going to bring them into the mix? Let this be a lesson to you, my dear porn, that you are wielding a powerful, powerful weapon. And I for one don't think it's too much to ask that you keep it in your mouth.

63 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you.

Simple Dude said...

Hard to add much to what "Anonymous" just said. So deep, so prolific. No, Anonymous.. thank YOU.

But this is great. And i'm on board with the ban (or at least pull back a bit) the spitting thing in porn. I've never been a big fan of spitting outside of the bedroom - why would it all of a sudden become cool inside?

SD
simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com

Elliot said...

Wow. First of all, best post in forevz. Not a knock on your previous stuff, but this one is just really out of the park. So many highlights.

Second, this reminds me of the nagging sexual insecurity that I have, that I assume most people also have, along the lines of "is this something that everyone likes, or is this something that one person liked and I keep bringing it out because I think it's normal?" The solution, obviously, is we need some kind of sexual crowdsourcing. Like a large-scale sexual census of "Do you enjoy this?" questions about every standard and semi-standard move, to give people a better handle on what they should and shouldn't be trying out. You could even run it against race, age, location and socioeconomic demographics.

toppe said...

hahahahaha! this just woke me up in the best mood ever.

i feel like someone should call your parents and warn them they might want to skip reading todays post.

Brittan said...

maybe if the beer can had been half full you wouldn't have have that problem!

no but this was amazing. i'm still laughing. i was spat on too and it was horrifying. i also dated a spit swapper. i feel like this post really helped me work through some of these issues that i can't bring myself to tell my therapist about.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who sang the lube song in their head to the tune of the Kit Kat jingle?

Anonymous said...

Thank god. I thought it was just me. I get annoyed as it is with all of the things guys invented that girls are not fans of that find their way into mainstream porn. Time to add one more. Spit is THE WORST.

AND...true story...was hooking up with the boyfriend one time and he did the exact same thing. We were drunk and probs high on pks and it just wasn't happening down there for me so he proceeds to just spit this large spitastic fireball on my jollies. And you know what, if maybe he made it sexy and like licked his hand and was nonchalant about it it would've been fine, but I'm sorry you just spit on me. I was all wtf. His response was similar about having seen it in porn. Someone please for the love of god write a book about these things....and hand it out in 7th grade health class.

but seriously rullll good post girl!

Angie said...

"And that's the message we should be driving into kids heads, not that you can hack up a shortcut if she's being a Frigid McPrudenstein."

I'm willing to be that there's a vaginismus joke hidden somewhere in that paragraph, we just need to find it.

Denise said...

i love you even more now

"Mike" said...

My entire point being: while I admit that saliva is a necessary part of a blow job, there's no need to shove a dick down your throat until you regurgitate half of a turkey sandwich all over it like you're feeding a god damn baby bird.

Yes, yes there is.

And Fleshbot is weak shit. Try Spankwire... Or Pornhub... Or Redtube... Or Youjizz... Out many, many other sites.

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU! I can't even count the dumb stuff my ex tried to pull with the justification he saw it in porn. I'm sure if I were in a film getting paid it would be a different story, but since I'm not a porn star maybe don't spit on me and pull my hair and then insist that it's sexy when I'm clearly communicating it's not.

re said...

Elliot's suggestion, about the sexual crowdsourcing, is almost as great at this entire post. Thank you for making my Wednesday so much better, Meg.

Laura said...

"Now, I realize that normally when the person you've been fellating for the past ten minutes passes out on you, it's not a "compliment" per se, but honestly, I've never been so relieved in my entire life. I felt like I had woken up and realized I forgot to study for a test, only to have my mom tell me to go back to bed because it's a snow day. Except in this case I got to turn the shitty techno music off, re-hinge my jaw and go to bed. But, you know, semantics."

Meggles, this is nothing short of brilliant and I'm so glad we're friends.

Anonymous said...

this post was worth the wait!

Anonymous said...

http://www.cafepress.com/+believe_in_narwhals_mug,408996512

JS said...

OMMMMG Meg this was GREAT! I think I might need to print this out and hand it to all my friends!

So, I feel like after this post I can ask a similar question. I feel alone in this but maybe not:

Is anyone else grossed out my semen?

Like, when I am watching porn, and I am about to "cross my t's and dot my i's" and then the four men start jizzing ALL over her face and eyes....blaaachhhh it makes me rulllll nauseated!
My boyfriend hates that I won't let him come on my face or that I won't swallow.
Is something wrong with me?

Linda said...

I was crying I was laughing so hard. Particularly at the last three paragraphs. Pure gold.

ryan said...

"You wouldn't haphazardly shove an eel up someone's ass on a first date..."

Well, no, not HAPHAZARDLY. I'm a gentleman, dammit.

Anonymous said...

I am so awkwardly laughing through my nose at work to a blog post about PORN so I cannot even share what I'm laughing about with perplexed co workers. The vagina in the dish washer, burning the mall down, the slip and slide.... I love you.

tobi said...

OH! MY! GOD! This post wins so hard!!!

Brandon said...

I feel like JS's comment/question is a Queer Abby goldmine.

Anonymous said...

I just want to say first off that I haven't even read the post yet, but I saw this horrifying image relating to a previous horrifying post and had to share. Ugh.

http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/ss-fbi.jpg?w=500&h=438

Merry Fucking Christmas

Anonymous said...

BRILLIANT! thanks for so many laughs meg!! :)

JS said...

Ummm...that was supposed to read:

Is anyone else grossed out BY SEMEN.

Not MY SEMEN.

I am a chick.....oops

Allison said...

EPIC!

KT said...

I have been complaining about this since college- over 10 YEARS AGO. Why must this continue with this trend????

Anonymous said...

hilarious, but how do you let your parents read this!?!?!?!!??!?!?!!?

GE said...

JS,

Semen gets you pregnant, it is full of those little swimming sperms waving their tails about all will nilly trying to get to your eggs. So yes, gross. I want it no where in, on, or near me. I'm not taking any chances with that shit.

Also, there's no normal, you like what you like and you dislike what you dislike, as long as we're all consenting adults, you're good to go. I have a buddy who loves it when dudes come on her funbags, I don't get it, but it's her thing and it makes her happy, so whatever.

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Diane and I have a gentleman's agreement. If I tell her not to read a certain day, she won't. Today was such a day.

Reluctantly Anonymous said...

Pardon me, my grammar nazi self spies a typo in my previous comment: disgusted*.

Reluctantly Anonymous said...

...and to*.

I suck...and apparently eat out men's assholes.

*dies*

Susan Anspach said...

i can't read the rest of this because i literally dry-heaved at the thought of a martini glass of spit. although, i do appreciate the amount of thought that went into it.

Raquel said...

Hee-larious slash thankyouthankyouthankyou. You're back, Meg!!

Courtney said...

I laughed hardest at "Getting wet is a lady's biological way of putting out the welcome mat".

I have a simple solution to the whole "spit while making love" thing (gah! Isn't 'making love' the most awkward term EVER?): You spit on me, I punch you in the weiner. I think it's fair.

Meredith said...

Gah! I was waiting for someone else to be grossed out by semen! I'm grossed out by spit, too, but it's usually over super-fast so whatever. But the idea that every single porn video has to end with an extended close-up cum shot? No and thank you. I have let a guy cum on me, but that was his thing that got him off and I have my stuff that gets me off and whatever. But I don't want to LOOK at it. And I don't get why apparently it's the universal requirement. I can tell that they have finished from the noise and body language, thank you very much. I do NOT need to see semen.

And here's my primary issue with spit in porn: it's illogical. At least with oral, your mouth is going there anyway. Why can't you just take the spit with you and apply directly to the area? (Spit-on. Apply directly to the genitals.) Why does the transfer need to happen for two feet away? I'm not gonna lie, I like being a little bit degraded (TMI? Yes.), but I don't want to be SPIT on!

Anonymous said...

meredith: i have to say i legit laughed out loud, to myself, by myself at your "spit on, apply directly to the genitals" bit. well played madame, well played

Anonymous said...

Sorr about the spit

Adria said...

I've oft thought this, miself.

Well played, Meg, well played.

stacebird said...

You are fantastic. Couldn't sleep so I turned on the computer and checked to see if you'd updated. What could be better than some bedtime reading on spit in porn?

Jennifer said...

ha i just saw that you updated tulane chris "blogs in purple." guess we had to stop confusing the newbies?

Anonymous said...

http://www.entertainmentearth.com/hitlist.asp?theme=Dynasty

I'm pretty sure you need to own these, Meg.

Saitama said...

Wow you sound like a real fun lay.

Courtney said...

This was hilarious. And I now have a really strong urge to look up cry fucking. My resistance is becoming weaker as I type this, and I will hold you responsible for the horror that I'm sure will come.

Anonymous said...

JS, yes, it is not abnormal to be grossed out by semen. And, frankly, ejaculating on your face is degrading in my book and many other people's, so if you don't want it, your bf needs to STFU

Sean said...

I don't know when, or where, or in what context this will occur......

but i will be calling someone Frigid McPrudenstein. Thank you.

Nicki said...

So we're forming a no-spit porn petition, right guys? If we band together, we few, we horny few, we band of porn-watchers can make a difference in the misuse of bodily fluids in the porn industry.


P.S. I cut out about ten different John HandCock jokes. You're welcome.

Quills and Frills said...

Good heavens, this is brilliant. And the whole letting his wee bits go on her face at the end of EVERY video is distinctly male-geared. I really doubt the girl that's there eying her partner with her mouth open and faux-grin is enjoying herself at all. Meanwhile the man is toying with his OWN wee bits while he waits for the hose to turn on. I imagine he would much prefer her to do the job for him. And do males really enjoy watching another guy get off on a girl's face? The thing that worries me most of all, with the fluids spraying every which way, is that fetishes are being created. I don't know if there was actually a demand for this before it started showing up everywhere, but now it is standard! And people are so desensitized to it they expect it now! I think you are so right! Mainstream stuff needs to be nitty-gritty down to the business. No fluid flourishes.

Also I think it is brilliant that you got such a strong response with so many people coming out and saying "ew! I agree! Spit is icky!" Way to unite us!

Lady Dominique said...

Spit is gross, and the point you raised about the rape issue was awesome! Thanks! This post was amazing, I wish we would start thinking about the results porn has on our culture. Cumming on the face - NASTY not a good time and very degrading. If you cannot respect someone sexually then you might as well just watch porn and use your hand. This topic actually makes me very angry and sad. I wish porm didn't turn people/women into such dick slaves

Anonymous said...

hahahaha... dead-on and hilarious as always.

oh and-- 'outcrop' is totally the correct noun describing an exposed portion of rock, but can also be a verb, as in 'the Tuscarora Sandstone outcrops in several ridges throughout central Pennsylvania'

Kyle said...

So I read this post and found it hilarious, but had never really encountered spit in porn, that is until about 2 nights ago... brace yourself:

Picture this: 2 guys getting down and dirty, and then one says to the other, "open your mouth" as he leans in for what appears to be a kiss. However, instead of a long passionate kiss he SPITS directly into the other dude's mouth and says "yeah, that's right". I nearly threw up in my mouth after seeing this. WHO DOES THIS TURN ON?! It's a sick world!

Rachel said...

This is the funniest thing I've ever read about porn. and I am so excited to buy your book.

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