Happy Drinking Game Friday!

The Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead Drinking Game

Given this week’s personal financial kick in the groin, I feel like Sue Ellen Crandell in the movie Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead. Except in my case I’m not financially screwed because I left all of my money in a manila envelope on the corpse of my babysitter, but I left all of my hopes and dreams in a metaphorical manila envelope on the corpse of my college degree. Either way, both Sue El and I have to get high paying jobs and fast. (Also we both love tacky acrylic earrings and Jewish boys, but that is neither here nor there.)

I have officially given up on trying to find a job in graphic design (time to celebrate bitches!) and am now scrambling to find some schmo secretary job that will pay my (amassing) bills. Of course, although I can type 77wpm, am somewhat familiar with the alphabet and have a sexily raspy speaking voice perfect for answering phones, I have no “real” administrative experience making it impossible to get hired.

To solve this problem, I thought to myself “What would Sue El do?” and have already tried faking a resume, which as memory serves worked so well for her. However I’ve gotten crickets in response whereas Sue El in a stroke of fate runs into Rose Lindy, CEO of General Apparel West who hires her on the spot to avoid promoting her cunty receptionist Carolyn. Damn you Unibrows Applegate! Why is fate knocking on your door and not mine?! And how come she gets to date Brian the hot Clown Dog delivery boy (aka Jake from “In Treatment”…still a stud) whereas the closest thing to a relationship I have is a crush on that Latino kid from the AT&T stand in the mall?! UGHH…I’ll be trying on power-suits in a 90’s fashion montage if anyone needs me…

Rules of the Game
Drink when:
- Kenny is stoned or drunk
- Sue Ellen is sketching her rad fashion designs or one of her sketches is shown
- Gus hits on Sue Ellen
- Carolyn is bitchy
- One of the kids complains about being hungry
- Walter is seen watching TV
- An excuse is given as to why the babysitter isn’t there
- Sue Ellen wears a half shirt, or conversely a mini-skirt
- Someone buys something with the stolen petty cash
- Sue El's token black friend does the running man across the cat-walk in the fashion show looking like she just shit her pants while wearing her "whipping up fun in the kitchen" chef's uniform, because that shit is LOLZ:

To get your 2b1b fix over the weekend, check out our catty thoughts live from the bar at http://twitter.com/2birds1blog. Maybe even take five seconds to make a twitter account and follow us because we need friends?...please be our friend...we'll pay you to be our friend...in sexual favors...it's all we can afford...but it's still worth the twitter account. Have a great weekend!


Unknown said...

sue el----i'm here for you girl!

Anonymous said...

meg, this is my #1 fav movie of all time and i LOVE that now i have a drinking game to it :)

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

justine- i luff you.

emily- i want to play the DTMTBD drinking game with you.

Melanie Allen said...

I'm laughing so hard right now that it hurts. Love from Indiana! You bitches are a riot.

Anonymous said...

augmentin interaction diltiazem avandia hart 1 pseudoephedrine meth labs viagra for kidney transplant patients 5 snorting cetirizine kamasutra intensity condoms usa 2 metoprolol tartrate low potassium coreg norvasc lisinopril combined 1 lipitor order evecare without a prescription 9 what pharmacys sell viagra diamox effects on blood vessels 3 shoprite pharmacy letter on actos cheap sale copegus 7 high dhea testosterone and cholesterol how to get yasmin 6 changing from wellbutrin to celexa discount sale shallaki 2 coumadin adjustment policy zyprexa june 2007 payments 8 paxil and zanax buy emsam with mastercard 1 effexor law suits toprol xl 200mg 9

smoking and celexa [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/how-to-compound-sumycin-syrup-1.aspx]how to compound sumycin syrup 1[/url] more effective antihistamine claritin clarinex loratidine [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/imitrex-consumer-information-3.aspx]imitrex consumer information 3[/url] energizer 123 lithium photo [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/florida-lariam-class-action-3.aspx]florida lariam class action 3[/url] allegra in prividence [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/desyrel-and-weight-gain-6.aspx]desyrel and weight gain 6[/url] purchase clomiphene cheap [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/merck-vasotec-prescribing-information-8.aspx]merck vasotec prescribing information 8[/url] information on medication celebrex [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/celadrin-cod-saturday-4.aspx]celadrin cod saturday 4[/url] celebrex celecoxib north dakota [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/buy-generic-pilocarpine-online-5.aspx]buy generic pilocarpine online 5[/url] nystagmus tremor celexa 40 mg [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/diflucan-infection-vaginal-yeast-4.aspx]diflucan infection vaginal yeast 4[/url] synthroid with prilosec otc [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/maxalt-without-a-prescription-5.aspx]maxalt without a prescription 5[/url] coumadin blood test [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/side-effects-of-the-drug-avodart-4.aspx]side effects of the drug avodart 4[/url]

Anonymous said...

seroquel and prozac procardia effects on liver 7 kidney failure from valtrex levitra indinavir 9 tired of fatigue on zoloft walmart viagra 5 canasa anafranil forum 7 procardia xl adalat cc bactroban without rx 9 wellbutrin and headaches diflucan one dose treatment relief 3 vitamins caffeine dilantin change capsule 6 altace rx buy floxin otic drops online 3 darvocet and tramadol buy brahmi online with paypal 1 increase testosterone women buy dostinex with no prescription 5 tell me about levaquin 500mg online shop procalisx 9 omeprazole iv australia who can take depakote 3

lexapro getting high [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/amoxil-alcohol-interaction-2.aspx]amoxil alcohol interaction 2[/url] flomax levaquin [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/order-emsam-online-now-9.aspx]order emsam online now 9[/url] dilantin for cats experiencing seizures [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/what-is-azulfidine-6.aspx]what is azulfidine 6[/url] does zoloft work [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/where-to-buy-glucophage-8.aspx]where to buy glucophage 8[/url] metronidazole dosage sinus infection [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/childrens-imodium-3.aspx]childrens imodium 3[/url] comprable to maxalt [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/paxil-birth-contrtol-5.aspx]paxil birth contrtol 5[/url] lithium battery safety [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/imitrex-consumer-information-3.aspx]imitrex consumer information 3[/url] msds albuterol [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/remeron-sexual-side-effects-1.aspx]remeron sexual side effects 1[/url] prozac and mucinex [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/guinea-pig-bactrim-dose-6.aspx]guinea pig bactrim dose 6[/url] lexapro overdosage [url=http://new.iesny.org/CS/members/glyburide-and-prandin-combination-1.aspx]glyburide and prandin combination 1[/url]

Anonymous said...

clomid discharge | http://buyclomidonline.jimdo.com/#12213 - buy clomid without prescription, how does clomid affect ovulation

Anonymous said...

[url=http://moncleruko.co.uk/]moncler uk[/url] rcuty [url=http://mmuggbootssale.co.uk/]ugg[/url] zfhky [url=http://moncleruko.co.uk/]moncler uk[/url] msikv [url=http://mmuggbootssale.co.uk/]ugg[/url] dvzvn

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.oudoudounemoncler.org/]moncler femme[/url] mptsy [url=http://www.abercrombiefrssc.net/]abercrombie[/url] rhwqh [url=http://www.abercrombiefrssc.net/]http://www.abercrombiefrssc.net/[/url] cymwa [url=http://www.fcburberry.com/]Burberry Femme[/url] rreuu

Anonymous said...

TraUfs [url=http://onnrainnmcm.com/#06360]MCM iphoneケース[/url] AcmUki http://onnrainnmcm.com/ HiiPhn [url=http://mcmsenmon.com/#10751]MCM[/url] ZvzGck http://mcmsenmon.com/ NkqYty [url=http://ninnkimcm.com/#91734]MCM バッグ[/url] AghJmq http://ninnkimcm.com/ TnkSxc [url=http://kaidokumcm.com/#66713]MCM バッグ[/url] KyeMrz http://kaidokumcm.com/ AefKvo [url=http://manzokumcm.com/#35787]MCM 店舗[/url] WkyIah http://manzokumcm.com/ EklZlh http://chloenihon.com/ LibQay [url=http://chloenihon.com/]クロエ キーケース[/url] DmxCxy http://louboutindendou.com/ SqnLyx [url=http://louboutindendou.com/]クリスチャンルブタン 財布[/url] FifRaf http://guccisenmon.com/ WfwCfi [url=http://guccisenmon.com/]GUCCI ショルダーバッグ[/url] WagCds [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM[/url] OugQtr [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM 韓国[/url]

Anonymous said...

ZokRnl [url=http://onnrainnmcm.com/#40604]MCM バッグ[/url] NgwPdv http://onnrainnmcm.com/ LzqWjv [url=http://mcmsenmon.com/#79745]MCM 財布[/url] LekOgy http://mcmsenmon.com/ ShkGoz [url=http://ninnkimcm.com/#21063]MCM[/url] QyiJvv http://ninnkimcm.com/ MzhPtz [url=http://kaidokumcm.com/#00856]MCM バッグ[/url] QcaRbl http://kaidokumcm.com/ IchAzf [url=http://manzokumcm.com/#91159]MCM 韓国[/url] OtxCtu http://manzokumcm.com/ PdfYps http://chloenihon.com/ BcoAat [url=http://chloenihon.com/]クロエ 財布[/url] ZjwWqu http://louboutindendou.com/ IomQvg [url=http://louboutindendou.com/]クリスチャンルブタン[/url] MdiEai http://guccisenmon.com/ LkfSvj [url=http://guccisenmon.com/]GUCCI ショルダーバッグ[/url] PsvXar [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM[/url] PaoPzl [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM 通販[/url]

Anonymous said...

Soups, exploit in addition to goodies will also help scale back on your
body heat therapy. Maybe Clooney together with company sampled among the organic
belongings remains to be observed, but one thing is indeed, therefore far as marijuana
is anxious De Dampkring can tell his posts. Benefits recent methods of effectively
keep your caffeine intake solve, too as the inventive thinking
controls in motion. A cup of coffee should remain wake
up long afterwards you've opted pay a visit to slumber. Others can be diabetic and use gevalia coffee in work the hormone insulin formation.

Feel free to visit my page :: industrial coffee machines for sale

Anonymous said...

The only element of all of equipment can be the chrome
steel razor blades, which have been situated upon 5 dissimilar counts.

This can be a concern so long as which you are exceedingly particular regarding your moisture high temps in addition , enzyme maintenance.
Interface Lalanne's juicer takes up diminished amount of this particular fruit or vegetable which means read more liquid past all involved combined with invest less as time passes.

My web site ... Best Blender Reviews

Anonymous said...

Spot on with this write-up, I absolutely feel this website needs a lot
more attention. I'll probably be back again to see
more, thanks for the advice!

Feel free to visit my site; Dead Trigger 2 Cheats

Anonymous said...

I think this is among the most significant information for me.
And i'm glad reading your article. But wanna remark
on few general things, The web site style is great, the articles
is really excellent : D. Good job, cheers

My webpage รับสกรีนเสื้อ

Anonymous said...

Truly no matter if someone doesn't be aware of after that its
up to other people that they will assist, so here it takes place.

Look at my weblog ... افضل شركة تنظيف خزانات بالرياض

Anonymous said...

Do you mind if I quote a few of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your webpage?

My website is in the very same area of interest as yours
and my visitors would definitely benefit from
some of the information you provide here.

Please let me know if this okay with you. Regards!

My website ... star stable cheat codes

Anonymous said...

In order to cope in a fast-paced market, new applications are expected.
This business will probably be operated through the
owner's home and will probably be done entirely on the internet.
I have seen my share of scams, and have in fact done a fantastic job
avoiding being taken for any sucker and I'm here to share with you, Ameriplan isn't a scam.

Check out my website http://www.kssino.com/main/userinfo.php?uid=459475

Unknown said...

babyliss flat iron
mulberry handbags
longchamp handbags
mulberry handbags
michael kors uk
mulberry handbags
hollister uk
tiffany jewellery
oakley sunglasses uk
fitflops uk
fitflops shoes
ralph lauren outlet
ralph lauren pas cher
tiffany and co
oakley sunglasses wholesale
hollister shirts
tiffany outlet
hollister shirts
coach outlet store
mulberry sale
oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses wholesale
ray ban sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
hollister clothing
kate spade handbags
burberry outlet online
coach outlet online
true religion jeans
burberry outlet

ciitnoida said...

CIIT Noida is one of the best Salesforce training institute in Noida with 100% placement support. CIIT has well defined course modules and training sessions for students. At CIIT Salesforce training is conducted during day time classes, weekend classes, evening batch classes and fast track training classes.

Salesforce Training in Noida

Salesforce Admin Training in Noida

Clicky Web Analytics