3.28.2011

God I hate my life

To: Dad
From: Meg
Subject: So take that

Guess what I'm wearing as I type this? Yep. Pleather bomber jacket. Can't tear ME down.

To: Meg
From: Dad
Subject: Re: So take that

I didn’t raise a little girl in the DC suburbs to wear … pleather!?!?! I don’t even know what pleather is, but it sounds like something worn in “stag movies” in the 40’s in place of sensible undergarments. I think I’m going to have to wash my computer screen as a result of even typing the word. I will no longer type the word.

Of course, I also didn’t raise my little girl to assume that I would buy her an actual leather jacket. There are limits. However, I might buy Evie a leather jacket. She would kind of have a Michelle Pfeiffer vibe from Grease 2. Only Evie can dance.

Finally, I’m assuming that you must be out, since sitting in your apartment wearing (you know what) seems just a little … weird. Unless of course you’re reading something by Tom Robbins, which, come to think of it, would also be weird. No, anything connected with (you know what) is just weird and I’m not going to talk about this anymore.

Love,
DAD


To: Dad
From: Meg
Subject: Re: Re: So take that

Well, truthfully I am just sitting around in "It". I mean, I'll eventually go somewhere, but, you know, it gets drafty in here. And I'm reading a biography of Unity Mitford, not anything by Tom Robbins, thank you.

To: Dad
From: Meg
Subect: Re: Re: Re: So take that

Actually, I immediately regret admitting that I'm sitting around my apartment at 11:15 in the morning wearing imitation leather and reading the biography of a BIG 'OLE Nazi. I guess that doesn't paint a very flattering picture of me.

To: Meg
From: Dad
Subect: Re: Re: Re: Re: So take that

Painting a flattering picture of yourself? We're long past worrying about that. Your mother and I just tell people that you're "literary". We tell them there's a whole "scene".

Love,
DAD


Well, fuck. Oh and nothing in the entire world would shock me less than if my parents actually bought that cat a leather jacket. And not like an ironic cat-sized one either—like a nice, Meg-sized Michael Kors bomber jacket with a rib-knit hem and exposed zippers to wipe her paws with when she's done in the commode and plush lining to curl up on when she's listening to my dad read aloud from historical biographies in their precious little Panamanian Relaxation Room.

...Slash, people don't bring up Grease 2 enough in day-to-day life. I could do with a little more of that.

14 comments:

abby jenkins said...

that felt, in a very scary way, like a flashback.
damn the 90s!

James said...

I'd never seen Grease 2, and now I'm glad. That video might have just ruined any positive feelings I'd had towards Michelle Pfeiffer.

S/N - I love weekly catchups of 2B1B now... it just makes it more special, somehow. Less like a crack addict constantly hitting "refresh" hoping for another fix and more like Meg's Saturday morning rituals. Minus the dicking.

SS/N - I've seen another James floating around the comments. This is original Chicago James. How I've missed you, 2B1B commenters.

Anonymous said...

At least in Grease 2, they had the good sense to bring back Frenchy. Also Michelle's rendition of this song would have been much cooler had she thrown a chair and flashed that mean stare of her's circa 1995 in the Gangsta's Paradise video.

Kathleen said...

"Cool Rider" was my jam all of eighth grade... thank you for posting that. I wanted (and still do...) to be Michelle Pfeiffer. Sigh.

Michael said...

The only thing more depressing than pleather and the third reich is that Maxwell Caulfield married a woman twice his age at a mere 21.

The places we could've gone Maxie, oh the places.

Anonymous said...

You hate your life? Tonight on my way to eat my feelings, I got stuck behind a car at a red light whose occupants were making out. Mad at the world and especially at boys, I laid on my horn until the stopped. I think I hit a new low :-/ FML

Anonymous said...

meg and chris, your last few posts have been killer -- like the good old 2b1b days! so glad that you got your book deal, but even more glad that you're focused on the blog again! xo

Anonymous said...

1) The great and glorious wikipedia informs me that Maxwell worked as an exotic dancer in order to obtain an equity card. The things we never knew about cool rider...

2) I fall a little more in love with both Meg and Chris every time one of them mentions a Mitford.

Anonymous said...

Thank you. I love Grease 2 and especially Cool Rider. My sister and I were just singing that in the car a couple weeks ago - no joke.

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