The City is over, but I refuse to let Chris out of the cage.

I know what you’re thinking.

“Another bird? Isn’t this like second bird #3? I don’t know if I can handle getting attached again?” I’d be skeptical too. But come on. You can trust me. You guys know me. Haven’t I been there every Monday for the past few weeks? I would never steer you wrong, faithful readers. I look forward to the opportunity to let you wade in the shallow end of the swimming pool of my brain.

Now, allow me to re-introduce myself. My name is Hov. Wait, no, that’s wrong. I forgot where I was for a second. However, I would like to take a page out of Jay-Z’s book (and also Sarah Palin by way of Amy Poehler). First, please watch the following. If you haven’t seen it before, welcome to life outside of that rock you’ve been living under.

My name’s Chris McBloggy and you all know me

Recapper extrordinaire of Whitney Port’s City

Now I’m here to write, about more than Whitney

Can I get a “what what” if you readers feel me.

Don’t got much experience, but I got style

My grasp of pop culture extends for miles

But sometimes it’s creepy, like when I watch Disney

And my dream bout the day Miley finally meets me.

How I’m doin so far? (Kinda blow!)

Who knew rapping was so hard? (Coolio)

Few more verses to go, (Let’s go)

Sorry if this becomes a shitshow. (Total show)

Call me Bird Number Two

Cuz tonight I start writing

About all kinds of things

Like celebrity sightings

Meg and I on this blogging site

A match made in heaven, it just feels so right.

In Manhattan,

My days fill, baby fill up

With stories I can share

To thrill, baby, thrill ya.

I’ll try to make you laugh

When I fulfill my half

Of writing posts

All the readers in the house put your hands up,

All the readers in the house put your hands up,

All the bloggers in the house put your hands up,

All the bloggers in the house put your hands up!

When I say "2birds" you say "1Blog!"





I’m writing this rap but it ain’t going nowhere! (Ooooooo!!)

We are two birds, making sure you heard

Bout the awkward, 20-something in us all

(in love you’re gonna fall)

With our motherhumpin’ wit 5 days of the week!

Now I’m done

Now I’m done cuz this is tiring

And I’m whiter than snow.

My name is Chris

And this is the word

Everybody party

With the new second bird.

La la la la la la la laaaaaaa

Yo I'm Chris and I'm out!


Unknown said...

welcome bird! success bird! fly bird! you are, a fly bird at that.

Miss E said...

Hilarious! Bring it on!

kim if by sea said...

I just have to say that this weekend I brought back the "when I say (this) you say (that)" chant.. I appreciate it's appearance in your rap! haha

Ashley said...

For some reason the 3rd second bird bit made me think of that episode of Friends where Pheobe's boyfriend gets pissed off at the birds chirping and waking him up, and takes out his shotgun and kills them....

Not that I think you're going to get killed or anything. You should make a youtube video of your rap. I'd be entertained.

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