4.17.2009

Drinking Game Friday: Hare of the Dog Edition

It's time for The Painfully Hungover at Work Drinking Game!
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Rules:
Drink When:
- Your brain hurts too much to write a blog intro, so you dive directly into writing the drinking game.
- You hear your alarm clock go off and you think it's god playing a sick, sick joke on you. And no ones laughing.
- Prying your cold, dead corpse out of bed to take a shower is the equivalent of being asked to build a model airplane with one hand tied behind your back while wearing a blindfold. On a tightrope. With no glue. Or pants.
- You whimper, cry and moan in the shower like you're in The Crying Game.
- The back of your hair inexplicably won't dry (no matter how long you've been blow drying it) and it's as if each strand of hair is mocking you behind your back. Literally.
- The skirt that fit last week suddenly doesn't fit this morning, and you know it's because you drank the entire Heineken factory last night.
- Some asshole cuts you off while boarding the metro and you take solace in the fact that he won't be so pleased with himself when you vomit all over him and everything else on god's green earth in T-minus 30 seconds.
- You have six different kinds of beverages lined up on your desk because you've embarked on an Odyssey to figure out what will quench your thirst.
- The thought of taking part in small-talk with your co-workers, bosses, clients, the salad guy, the Fed-Ex guy and your building's concierge is enough to make you fantasize about pulling a Freaky Friday with the homeless man you pass on the way to work, because then you'd be napping in the sun and he'd be assembling marketing binders.
- Your office phone rings and it's like someone is skull-fucking you.

- You honestly weigh the pros and cons of curling up under your desk and taking a nap because yeah, it's a recession, but it might be completely worth getting fired for.

Thanks for reading, have a great weekend and we'll see you back here Monday morning! In the meantime, you can follow us on twitter or join the facebook group. Or hell; do both! It can't suck that badly.

26 comments:

Talia said...

when I was hungover at work when I was a camp director, I used to kick kids in the face and steal innocent newborns.

Anna said...

BAHAHAHAHA, like i already stated, you write well when youre violently hungover. reminds me of my "glory" days at Lexus of I Want To Kill Myself. i cant say that i wont feel the EXACT same way on seis de mayo...TEQUILA TEQUILA!

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Ugh. Being hungover and you saying 'tequila' reminds me of Jill's pre-Fourth of July party a few years ago when Glenn was hazing us with shots of Cuervo and the next morning I puked out of my car door and then curled up on my parent's kitchen floor crying on the cold stones with no pants on.

Ah, memories.

Wiggs (The Beholder) said...

2 things: one, you should totes go into the bathroom and take a nap on the john. I did that soooo many times at my old job.

Two, this website seems like it would be right up your alley: http://www.snacksandshit.com/

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.

I CAN NOT thank you enough for introducing me to that website! I want to marry it and have a billion babies and you're their Godmother.

Wiggs (The Beholder) said...

I know! I'm just mad I didn't think to make this website first.

Rae said...

you really couldn't have picked a better day for this post. (not that any other Friday wouldn't have been just as appropriate). Thank you.

Mocha Dad said...

If I played this game, I'd be drunk before 8AM.

Meee! said...

It is funny when it is you, when your whole office is like this...oh man shit storm central.

jen toppe mctopperson said...

yesterday i threw up while getting ready for work, pulled over twice while driving to work and threw up then, and then threw up again once i got to work. i feel your pain. except when im at work im not lucky enough to get to sit at a desk. i have to walk around making conversation with hundreds of strangers and carry trays of beer and wine. and the last damn thing you wanna smell when you have a hangover so bad you cant stop throwing up is beer.

Dasha said...

Definitely most relevant post of the week. Went out to a Diplo jam on Thursday night & Friday morning was a complete mofo. You have captured my pain & struggle in the most succinct way possible. And I thank you for it.

Casey said...

You forgot something, or maybe it only happens to me: when I am terribly hungover, I am the most awkward conversationalist ever. I'm almost borderline Rainman - stuttering, making grammatical errors FROM MY MOUTH, fidgety, and just overall weird. I don't know why it happens, but I think it has something to do with my brain still being asleep but the rest of me functioning.

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