Ok, my hippie karma-collecting streak lasted all of one day. I’m sorry oh Higher Power, but it’s just not me. I tried to be calm, positive and forgiving, but how am I expected not to rip people apart with my rapier wit when they so blatantly ask for it? Although I do want to collect good karma and land my dream job, I can’t abandon my position as President of E.M.O. (the End Meeks Offensive) or abandon my War on Social Terrorism. Wherever there is social injustice, I’ll be there. Wherever a co-worker is being passive aggressive, you shall find me. Wherever a Meek is ruining a good person’s day, I will damn well be there to knock the metaphorical books out of their hands and shove them into a metaphorical locker. I don’t care if I’m unemployed for the rest of my life, I will never declare a premature Mission Accomplished on my War on Social Terrorism as long as mean geeks like Anonymous ruin the day of kind and good people like Miss Cleveland Park on the blog DC Nearly Weds.

Yea, that’s right, we have a cyber Meek on our hands. That’s the worst kind. My friend Rachel text messaged me last night that her wedding blog had a hater, and asked what should she do about it. I headed over to her blog to check out the damage expecting some ho to have commented, “HATEZ YO DRE$S” or something and was prepared to reference the T.I. song “Hi Hater” when I saw the comment Rachel was referring to. And by comment, I mean thesis. And one sentence in, I knew it was the work of a Meek. My blood boiled, my fangs descended all "True Blood" style and I sharpened my claws ready to rip this Meek a new one in order to make the world right again. If you were looking forward to the new more positive and family-friendly Meg, you might not want to read on. Sorry Meeky baby, this was long overdue:

Let me just clarify what the Meek got so riled up about: Rachel got a call from a talk show about appearing on a bridal weight loss competition and she posed the question to her blog readers if they thought she should do it or not. The Meek felt the need to weigh in on the matter (pun intended!).

First of all, a simple yes or no really would have sufficed Meek. Christ. I tried to read your response and lost interest after the first sentence:
“Considering our generation's enthusiastic abandonment of personal privacy for overwhelming (and electronic) candor, going on a show and revealing your weight, wedding date, and personal struggle to get fit seems like a logical continuation of the trend.”

Holy SAT prep course, cool out. When someone has to break out the Nerd-English-English-Nerd dictionary to translate your comment, you might just want to not comment at all. Because to me it all just sounds like “blah blah blahblahblahblahnerdtalk” and I don’t even know whether or not you support Rachel. I just know you irritate me.

Next, you would comment anonymously. I honestly have no problem with people posting anonymous comments here on 2b1b (and I encourage it!), unless you're trying to start shit with me, as you were trying to do with Rachel. If you’re starting shit, reach your hand down your pants, grab your nutsack, and leave your name. Because you’re a Meek, you probably have a totally unfortunate nerd name like Beatrice Gaymeister, but it’s the Internet. The Internet was made for nerds like you and you can create a fake little username like 2Smart4U to post under so people can respond while not knowing your real identity (so we don’t snap your glasses in half in real life.)

You point out and judge the shit out of Rachel for losing her privacy via her blog and theoretical appearance on this TV show. Look nerd, not all people are civilians by day and super heroes by night; life isn’t one big comic book. Rachel doesn’t have anything to hide; she’s networking because that’s what socially capable people do. She’s already injected herself into the public sphere by creating a blog, so I don’t think her life will crumble if she’s even more accessible via a TV appearance. She’s putting a small part of her life out there so other people can relate and give her feedback, try not to piss your khaki-pleated-pants at the concept.

Meeky goes on…
“Often people see being on television as its own end. Why? The ironically anonymous commenter above me wrote, "you are so hot...so work your stuff on national tv!" Why? So more people will know you are hot? For average individuals who have nothing to contribute to the world of daytime television, nor anything to gain besides some gifts you would get anyway from your registry, the only point of being on television is an indulgent narcissism. If you are a narcissist, or an extreme materialist, then television is the way to go.”

See now I understand why you posted this under “Anonymous.” Because if you ever said that to Rachel in my presence in real life, I would give you the hardest backhanded bitch slap of your life. You would fly out of your sensible penny-loafers. Meek, you are socially retarded. I’m not kidding, if the chick who posted this comment is reading my blog right now, I want you to go to the bathroom, look at yourself in the mirror and say (out loud,) “I am a social retard. I am the problem. I have no right giving someone a solution.” I’m serious. You had to be home schooled because people in normal society know that it’s not polite to refer to a stranger as “an average individual” with “nothing to contribute to the world of daytime television” and call them an indulgent, materialist narcissist. What the fuck is wrong with you? If I could reach into my computer and give you an atomic wedgie, I would.

Then you go on for a few days about the health risks of shows like “The Biggest Loser” and how 20 pounds is a lot of weight to lose and blah blah blah blah. I’m sure you had some scientific and psychologically sound points there but after reading a few lines, I got a bloody nose and re-grew my virginity from absorbing your Meek-ness.

“…if you are the type of person who would go on television to find a man and get married (a la "The Bachelorette"), then go on television to lose weight. If you value your private life, your health, and your future more than fame and material goods, then you should stay away.

Besides, you should be focused on getting married and not with your next scheduled appearance on television.”

WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU? Rachel just wants to lose weight, have fun and win some door prizes! Why? Because she’s a super cute fun girl! It’s not a big deal! She’s not getting a televised gyno-exam or puking her DNA all over your television screen with her Social Security number tattooed on her forehead, so don’t worry that she’s putting her “private life, health and future” in jeopardy. Christ! I would go on, but I've run out of insults and I think this spanking has been bad enough. Now get out of here with your TI-83 calculator and bad attitude and learn how to interact with people.


Rachel said...

hahaah thanks, I think

Rachel said...

Thanks 2B1B. I feel like yelling BOOOYAH in her cyber face

Anonymous said...

Perfect! That loser needs to get a life! Thank you for backing up Ms. Cleveland Park!

I love you RM! You are the best and I can't wait to see you on tv (if you decide)! I already have a co-worker who wants your autograph! Seriously.


No Faith In Humanity said...

Ah, the internet was created for these people. I have been burning to write about the meek at my office, but I'm afraid she's too tech-savvy and will find it, read it, and kill me with my letter opener. I will have to live vicariously through your blog yet again.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Really?? Now I'm dying to know about your Meek!

SayHey Kid said...

Behold!! The Nightmare

Remind me to bring a really big gun if I am ever in a knife with you (as Ms. Meek should have done in the first place).

But I couldn’t agree with you more. If her royal Meekness left her high and mighty throne, and took some time to know MCP (as I do), and not blatantly demean the point of the topic, she would know that her entire point is complete garbage.

On a side note- If Ms. Meek truly believed in the crap that was harvested in her pea sized brain, then why would she have to hide her identity? Sure, she is a staunch supporter of "privacy", but you simply cannot thuggishly smack someone while wearing a mask.


Jack Gonzo, MD said...

Now defend nerds/dorks/geeks and those of our feather, they tend not to be the one of their horses speaking about the evils reality television, unless it cancelled their favorite show. They know nothing of health so they couldn't possibly by crying about the damage to The Biggest Loser (which the comment in itself is bs). How they could ever cry about adding nothing to the daytime television makes no sense as I don't believe there can be anything added to daytime television except more Not The Fathers. A nerd can't be complaining because, let's be honest, we're usually up all night gaming and sleeping through the day to be able to know anything about daytime television.

I do believe though that a person who fits this mold can be seen in Good Will Hunting. The person who fancies himself the uber-intellectual. Who knows all far better then you ever could and should listen to his sagely advise and save yourself from the agony that no doubt awaits your decisions. This is also the man, cause let's face it this was a man, who is single and doesn't understand why those inferior to him are able to date but women can't take his constructive criticism and continue to see him.

In the end there is only one answer, this man is none other then Red Herring.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

for the record, i'm cool with nerds/dorks/geeks.

it's when nerds/dorks/geeks are MEAN (mean + geek = meek) that i step in and lay the smack down. checks and balances, my friends. checks and balances.

samuel "screech" powers had superior intellect, but he was always kind-hearted and nice. this got him far in life. he became assistant principal down the line. jesse spannow was one smug, cold-hearted super brain. where did that land her? two words: stripper pole.

Anonymous said...


jessie spano for life

<3 ash.

Ashley said...

I am so glad someone else pointed out that "feet =/= FEAT". Seriously, one typo of that caliber and you just undermined everything else you said. Silly little meek. At least be good at what you do.

Screech is supposed to be at a comedy club here on Thursday. It made me laugh. Slash, I'm tempted to pay the $10 and go...just to say I saw Screech.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Shit I'll go with you.

No Faith In Humanity said...

I live in fear of Wednesdays, when she is my desk coverage person. She fingers everything in sight, coughs directly into the candy dish, and steals my pens. She throws her work on my desk and demands help, then takes the credit for what I do.

One time--no lie--she went into my Outlook and printed out my emails, since I had one from a coworker she harbors dirty feelings for. I didn't have proof at the time but she's done it since, so now I have to password-protect EVERYTHING.

Another time, she came into the office, super excited about her new wardrobe, that came "from an estate sale! That means the lady is DEAD! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

But no amount of explanation could prepare you for actually having contact with her.

If you try and call her out on something, she will run away. Literally run. Like hundred meter dash run.


2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

wow...we need to get a cage and a water dish so i can examine the creature STAT!

Anonymous said...

[TITLE]Christian Louboutin Uk Shoes Show Women Classiness[/TITLE]
The first step for securing an bad credit score fast bank money is usually to perform out what sort using collateral you will be very heading to work while having. The much better your collateral then ones quicker christian louboutin shoes you are able that will help safe your financial loan.

Mainly importantly, provide your toddler with actions at home, too as outdoors reduce. They may possibly not want to get familiar with all of them, however it's important for your tot to be treated as they may be placed. Do not go away your kid residences when heading out for supper. Get your autistic kid with as well as just be sure you visit a household christian louboutin shoes kind restaurant so in case your child does misbehave in manifeste, it isn't these kinds of a huge deal. Offer your child which has an environment filled with many colors and textures. This can help to keep their consideration on particular routines and in the event you give them while chance for social interaction, this could definitely advice them inside the long.

The often most successful first step in guidlines for finding the journey job of your particular goals is to possess a tour instruction program. Instruction is readily meant for tour guides, tour directors, as well as manufacture tour management. With tour coaching, you'll be aware about security techniques to receive numerous travel strategies together with locations. You will learn about working with suppliers, handling emergencies, documentation, delivering instructive narration, and more.

According to to the blueprint "torque = force ?time" twisting arm, in absolute circumstances, to abrasion top heels, accomplish a hotlink pertaining to annex has increased, which the accessory will be turned on to abate the vividness. Therefore, one half inch heels to admission some of the braking force on that this agnate decrease.

The popular host oprah wore a classic men's inspired suit in the woman's groundbreaking interview with Eliza Jackson. The tux blazer Oprah is wearing in this interview considered hottest fashion trends. (Even though Lady E wore this trend programs 1993!)This blazer and dress can be worn enhance both dressy or recreational outfits, and is positively a look that is able to go from day to party.

Also, visiting different discussion sites that cater for my niche you're especially caught up in could enable your family to assume of the latest good deal far considerably better ideas on how on the way to do your personal position creation.

As soon as your kid also has been diagnosed with autism, you may at seriously first go via some normal kind of panic and anxiety mode. One from the very first pitfalls you may want within order to do is setup offering their advice to for yourself to can be helpful you deal with several damaging emotions you would likely be having about your company kid. This may enable you to in only this overwhelming time. You might also desire to do some comparison on your personal in terms of Autism, as it probably will enable you to on the way to know what you may well possibly anticipate along with baby.

Gege Dai said...

mcm bags
hollister outlet
coach factory outlet
longchamp pas cher
ed hardy outlet
toms outlet store
gucci handbags
oakley outlet
air max uk
polo outlet
air max 2015
nike blazer pas cher
chaussure louboutin pas cher
true religion jeans
sac louis vuitton pas cher
mont blanc pens
michael kors outlet
christian louboutin shoes
toms shoes for women
coach factory outlet
kate spade handbags
chanel bags
oakley store
coach outlet
cheap oakleys
tory burch outlet online
burberry sale
ralph lauren polo shirts
polo ralph lauren
cheap jordans free shipping
oakley sunglasses sale
cheap ray bans
beats headphones
ray ban wayfarer

John said...

michael kors outlet
nike sb
ralph lauren outlet
giuseppe zanotti sneakers
adidas originals
fitflops sale clearance
mont blanc
burberry sale
kobe bryant shoes
cheap uggs
fake oakleys
north face
tods outlet
polo outlet
nike tn
louis vuitton handbags
football shoes
lebron james shoes
hermes belt
louis vuitton outlet
moncler jackets
adidas original trainers
ugg slippers
instyler curling iron
barbour uk
marc jacobs
nike blazer
oakley sunglasses wholesale
nike air max 90
pandora bracelets
supra shoes

Hua Cai said...

asics, http://www.asicsisrael.com/
michael kors outlet, http://www.michaelkorsusa.us/
cheap oakley sunglasses, http://www.cheapoakleysunglassess.us.com/
air max 90, http://www.airmax90.us.com/
nike air max shoes, http://www.nikeairmaxshoess.co.uk/
oakley, http://www.occhialioakleyoutlets.it/
louis vuitton outlet, http://www.louisvuittonoutlet.in.net/
michael kors outlet store, http://www.michaelkorsoutlet-store.us.com/
tory burch shoes, http://www.toryburchshoesoutlet.com/
abercrombie and fitch, http://www.abercrombie-fitch.us.com/
adidas wings, http://www.adidaswings.net/
ghd hair straighteners, http://www.ghdhairstraightenerssale.co.uk/
calvin klein underwear, http://www.calvinklein.in.net/
ugg uk, http://www.cheapuggboots.me.uk/
mulberry outlet, http://mulberryoutlet.outlet-store.co.uk/
cheap snapbacks, http://www.cheapsnapbacks.us.com/
nike huarache, http://www.nikeairhuarache.org.uk/
ray ban sunglasses, http://www.ray-bansunglassess.in.net/
nike air max uk, http://www.nikeairmaxshoes.org.uk/
tiffany outlet, http://www.tiffany-outlet.us.com/
pandora jewelry, http://www.pandorajewelryoutlet.us.com/
replica handbags, http://www.replicahandbag.us.com/
ray ban sunglasses, http://www.raybansunglass.co.uk/
futbol baratas, http://www.futbol-baratas.com/
mulberry outlet, http://www.mulberryoutlet.com.co/

mmjiaxin said...

swarovski crystal
snapbacks wholesale
cyber monday deals
rolex uk
moncler outlet
replica handbags,replica handbags outlet,cheap handbags,purses and handbags,wholesale replica handbags,replica bags,bags outlet,replica handbags wholesale,cheap purses,discount handbags,handbags sale,wholesale purses,handbags and purses,replica purses
coach outlet online
uggs outlet
toms outlet
cheap jordan shoes
ugg outlet online
north face outlet
michael kors handbags sale
hermes outlet store
michael kors handbags
babyliss flat iron
tory burch outlet online
canada goose jackets
thomas sabo outlet
true religion jeans

John said...

toms wedges
michael kors outlet clearance
louis vuitton outlet stores
adidas originals shoes
louis vuitton handbags
kobe 9
louis vuitton outlet stores
burberry outlet online
ugg boots
michael kors handbags
gucci outlet
concord 11
ray ban sunglasses outlet
louis vuitton purses
louis vuitton outlet
celine handbags
hollister clothing
louis vuitton outlet
lebron james basketball shoes
fitflop clearance
ralph lauren outlet
kids uggs on sale
louis vuitton outlet online
coach outlet
lebron 12
discount jordans
michael kors outlet
oakley sunglasses wholesale
louis vuitton bags
ugg boots sale
ugg boots sale
ugg clearance outlet
jordan concords
air jordans
michael kors outlet online
coach outlet online
abercrombie & fitch

Qing Cai said...

celine outlet
cheap nba jerseys
fitflops outlet sale
oakley canada
ray-ban sunglasses
swarovski outlet
coach outlet store
montblanc pens
oakley sunglasses
ferragamo shoes
oakley sunglasses
nba jerseys
tory burch outlet
ralph lauren outlet
ralph lauren outlet
true religion outlet
ray ban sunglasses
longchamp pliage
true religion jeans
ferragamo outlet
coach outlet
ray-ban sunglasses
ralph lauren outlet
timberland boots
true religion outlet
mulberry outlet
hollister uk
jordan pas cher
coach outlet online
rolex watches for sale

Meiqing Xu said...

ray ban sunglasses discount
uggs sale
michael kors outlet
reebok outlet
bottega veneta handbags
jordan pas cher
longchamp bags
nfl jerseys
uggs outlet
ugg boots outlet
coach factory outlet
ugg australia
adidas stan smith
adidas nmd
ray bans
coach outlet store
uggs on sale
mlb jerseys
air max 90 black
ugg outlet
rolex watches for sale
armani jeans
christian louboutin shoes
ray ban sunglasses
polo ralph lauren outlet
uggs outlet
michael kors outlet
ugg boots
reebok shoes
coach outlet
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
uggs outlet

dong dong23 said...

ugg outlet
ugg outlet
louis vuitton
oakley sunglasses
coach factory outlet
ugg boots
ugg sale
nike air max 90
ray-ban sunglasses
adidas trainers

xumeiqing said...

canada goose jackets
nike air force 1
coach factory outlet
kevin durant shoes
true religion jeans
michael kors outlet
rolex replica watches
ugg outlet online
michael kors bags
adidas yeezy boost

raybanoutlet001 said...

salvatore ferragamoHOW
michael kors outlet storefive
ed hardy clothingfor
reebok shoeslinky
tiffany and co outletis
louis vuitton pas cherthe
reebok outletback
adidas nmd r1Then,
under armour outletto
nike blazer pas cherand

Gege Dai said...

michael kors outlet online
cheap ray ban sunglasses
ed hardy clothing
pandora jewelry
cheap oakley sunglasses
the north face jackets
cartier watches
louis vuitton uk
gucci outlet
ugg boots

Unknown said...

red valentino
michael kors
arizona cardinals jerseys
san francisco 49ers jerseys
ed hardy
new york knicks jersey
canada goose
louis vuitton sacs
chaussure louboutin pas cher

Cara Ampuh Obati Vitiligo said...

Very interesting information, may be useful for everything

Obat Pelancar Haid
Obat Atasi Keputihan Yang Bau Dan Gatal

shengda xu said...

oakley sunglasses wholesale
coach factory outlet online
giants jerseys
polo ralph lauren outlet online
fit flops
yankees jerseys
mulberry handbags
nike outlet store
birkenstock outlet
cowboys jerseys

龙大猫 said...

yeezy boost
longchamp bags
air jordan
kyrie 3 shoes
yeezy sneakers
air max
huarache shoes
james harden shoes
kobe basketball shoes

Khasiat Dan Manfaat Teripang said...

Thank Had to share information, success for all

Cara Ampuh Obati Penyakit Fatty Liver
Penyakit Gagal Ginjal
Cara Mengangkat Sel TUmor
Cara Mengatasi Biang Keringat Pada Anak
Obat Asam Lambung
Obat Penyakit Kulit Psoriasis

adidas nmd said...

ugg boots
ugg boots
michael kors handbags
sac longchamp
kate spade sale
ralph lauren polo
pandora jewelry
cheap ugg boots
ray ban sunglasses outlet
air jordan uk

Stjsrty Xtjsrty said...

canada goose outlet
ray ban eyeglasses
mulberry uk
moncler online outlet
ugg boots clearance
christian louboutin outlet
pandora charms
pandora charms
ralph lauren uk
christian louboutin shoes

Yaro Gabriel said...


mbt shoes
coach handbags
undefeated clothing
true religion jeans
coach outlet
christian louboutin outlet
pandora charms
ralph lauren polo shirts
tory burch outlet
air jordan 4

zzyytt said...

asics shoes
adidas superstar UK
pandora bracelet
kobe 11
kate spade handbags
nike flyknit
hermes handbags
yeezy shoes

5689 said...

ralph lauren outlet
football soldes
oakley sunglasses
coach outlet online
uggs outlet
ray ban eyeglasses
nike air max 90
jordan shoes
christian louboutin sale
basket nike femme

ww we w said...

nike lebron 15
kobe basketball shoes
nike air zoom pegasus 32
nike mercurial
ultra boost
converse outlet store
air jordan 11
caterpillar shoes
air max 90

Obat Penghancur Kista said...

Thank you for sharing an interesting and very useful article. And let me share an article about health here I believe this is useful. Thank you :)

Cara Menghilangkan Benjolan di Langit Mulut
Cara Menghilangkan ambeien/Wasir Secara Permanen
Inilah Penyebab Mual dan Muntah secara Tiba-tiba
Obat Asma Alami (untuk semua usia),Terbukti Ampuh
Obat Diabetes Herbal, Pengobatan Alami Diabetes
Cara Mengobati Konjungtivitis Secara Alami

xiaoouou xiaoou said...

20181018 xiaoou
ray ban outlet store
louboutin outlet
pandora outlet
christian louboutin shoes
longchamp handbags
canada goose outlet sale
moncler coats
valentino shoes
kate spade purses
canada goose


yeezy boost 350 v2
adidas ultra boost
adidas tubular
off white
stephen curry 5
balenciaga sneakers
goyard handbags
kyrie 4 shoes
coach handbags
jordan 4

PalaPala said...

Pandora Jewelry Outlet
Jordan 4
Red Bottom Shoes For Women
Jordan 11 For Sale
Jordan 11
Pandora Jewelry
Pandora Jewelry Official Site
Yeezy boost 350 v2
Pandora Jewelry

Zihan Amelia said...

The poor do not grieve and do not regret themselves, the rich do not be proud. The degree of humans on the side of God is not because of the wealth of human beings on the side of God just because of their fear

Cara Mengatasi Beser
Obat Vitiligo
Cara Mengatasi Nyeri Pundak
Cara Mengobati Parotitis
Cara Mengatasi Sakit Pinggang

Cara Mengatasi Alergi Dingin said...

The article is good. Also visit my article, read and share too. God willing useful. :)

Bahaya Makan Mie Instan saat Perut Kosong
Pengobatan Kista Endometriosis
Cara Efektif Mengatasi Penyakit Trombosis Vena Dalam

yan maneee said...

timberland boots
supreme clothing
nike lebron 16
michael kors outlet online
michael kors bags
Kanye West shoes
gucci belts
michael kors outlet
michael kors

Clicky Web Analytics