I'm sorry, but I honestly don't get that. Why do I have to be financially stable to get a dog? I mean, lets examine the reasons I why want to get a dog in the first place, shall we?
Official reasons why I, Meghan McBlogger, want a dog
- Target practice for my brand new BB gun
- To pit up against other neighborhood dogs in a vicious Dupont Dog Fighting Ring (the DDFR, if you will) (ddfr.org)
- Two words: Snowpocalypse transportation
- To occasionally walk so I can hit on guys in the park
- Because sometimes it's nice to listen to something squeal like a pig
- Fall 2010: Pug sweaters and matching Shiba Inu hot pants!
- So I have something to bitch slap when I'm listening to Dre and want to feel included
- To burn with cigarette butts
- To test my new line of Dynasty inspired electric blue eye make up on
- Because as of right now I have nothing to chain to a stake in my closet and and yell at when I'm drunk
- To throw in a bag and toss in the river: if it sinks—it was a good Christian dog. And if it floats? WITCH!!!
- Because that choke chain and metal cage have been collecting dust ever since I lost interest in S&M
- To breed with Cella and so I can start my very own puppy mill. EaSy MoNeY!
- Because I want to be a vampire for Halloween '10 and plastic fangs can't hold a candle to the authenticity of a dog's canines
- So I can shoot at it's paws and watch it dance, monkey, DANCE!
- To practice my budding punting career with
- Shish kapug
- To serve as a fury stage for my one-man production of Stomp The Yard
- To fatten up and sell to Mei Wah by the pound
...I mean, I just don't get why I have to be financially stable to do any of those things, you know? Cock? You know?
Asshole. And now you get this:
I'm irritated. I'll be raping purebred puppies if you need me. Good day.