[Editor's Note: I was totally late to the party, so the first half of this is just Eddie's running commentary on the Awards.]
I AM BLINDED BY THE GLITTER BLINDED BY THE GLITTER ON THE STAGE.
The opening number: This is really adorable in the way that it reminds me of favorite awards show, THE TONYS (wow I am really gay) The middle school sets are amazing. Also Anne Hathaway changed from her horrid mermaid dress. Jazz must be weeping the sadness of the mermaid dress gone away. http://tinyurl.com/djxc6a.
I am watching the show with a Vassar grad that can’t stand Anne Hathaway’s guts so every time she's on the screen we get some awesome insights into Anne’s college life. (Also Meryl Streep and her daughter went to Vassar so go VC)
I want to steal Viola's dress, build a time machine and dance the night away at studio 54.
DEAR Ms. CRUZ find a dress that fits your tits.
Amy Adams shows me the theme this year seems to be “giant overwhelming pieces of jewelry that look like things my Great Aunt Moe would have owned.” True story, my great aunt Moe loved jewelry and used to give it out to the young girls by the toy pram full and always have more. My grandpa called it “Moe’s junk” and some of her junk I still rock. BUT I WOULD NOT ROCK IT AT THE OSCARS that’s the difference. Granted Moe's stuff came from Avon in the 1960’s, 70’s and 80’s but still even if it was real NOT OSCAR WORTHY.
TILDA sometimes you are one of the hottest people ever (see photo shoot where she wore old timey suits) sometimes you look awkward.
OH Ms. Cruz tells us about her childhood and I fear that her right tit is going to fall out. DON’T FALL DON’T FALL OUT! (or maybe do it will amp up the show)
Tina Fey and Steve Martin…for those that don’t know Meg’s dad looks like Steve Martin. This is kind of adorable but TINA FEY is totes posing in a way that seems not her and her eye is saggy in a botox way.
And the screen play winner is…MILK awww one tiny victory and the writer is hot and gay and amazing (he also writes for Big Love which is awesome.)
So Slumdog won for best adapted which isn’t shocking.
Blah blah animation Jack Black being forced funny. Jennifer Aniston’s hair looks as about put together as my hair…the home viewer should not be more put together then the star.
ANIMATION GUY GOES “domo arigato Mr. Roboto!” and it was the most adorable thing I have seen at the Oscars.
Sarah Jessica Parker’s dress looks a bit like it was designed by a wedding Barbie obsessed 6 year old. It's way more wedding dress then Oscar dress and it just does not ‘sit’ well with me/the entire room. Once a Square Peg my dear, always a Square Peg.
OMG AMANDA IS WEARING A DRESS THAT IS PRETTY MUCH A GIANT BOW and I loves me some bows so I am all for this dress. Plus it is very young in a good way; it is 100% age spot on. The banter is very force and awkward and just high school drama club.
Joaquin Phoenix joke…and Natalie Portman looks adorable but like an anorexic Barbie doll. You look like you are from a Hasidic Meth Lab is the new YOUR MOM joke. There was a guy coming back to his seat in the front row after a bathroom break BET HE FEELS LIKE A JERK.
On Jessica Biel: “that dress is very unfortunate” says the queer male in the room. I say and her hair looks like something you rock on a walk of shame. BAD CALL draping gone wrong, I’ve seen better draping on frat boys on their way to a toga party.
4 screwmosas in and we made popcorn in ye old popcorn maker and the pop corn is hitting my head. Also I am so tipsy I have no clue what is going on with the show
TOP HATS UNDERREPSENTIED OF OUR SOCIETY this OMG TOP HATS CANES SINGING IN THE RAIN. [editor's note: I didn't edit anything from here on out, drunk-blogging is something I can get behind.]
BEYONCE in a musical medley OMG MY HEART IS DYING IN A RED HOT UNITARD WITH GLOVES. IN MY DREAMS DREAMS THIS IS IDEAL. THEY ARE MAKING THE OSCARS THE TONY’S WHICH IS PROBS THE BEST THING IN THW WORLD. A TOP HAT WITH A CRYSTICAL PLUME SINGING ABBA. THIS IS A GAYS DREAM MAMA MIA WITH TOP HATS ALL THE GAYS IN THE ROOM ARE SCREAMING SCREAMING I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS!!
JOLE GREY (everyone else is freaking out about Cuba)
PHILIP SEYMORE HOFFMAN A ROCHESTER NATIVE GO RA CAH CAH play weird people dress with oddness I love my hometown.
JOLE GREY IS AMAZING and presenting for the GLTB movie which fits
Cuba uhh for Robert Downy Jr. which is pretty funny.
Awww Heath Ledger won. SHOCK SHOCK his daughter will get it when she is 18 which is adorbs.
“SHUT UP ANNE YOU ARE ACTING RIGHT NOW” (the Vassar grad to Anne Hathaway tears)
me: sorry i'm late mom! but we're live blogging startingggg NOW