7.17.2009

Drinking Game Friday needs your vote!

Self promotion makes me highly uncomfortable. But it has to be done. Thus, I would like to thank Leslie from Alabama for nominating 2birds1blog for the 2009 Blogger's Choice Awards for both best humor blog and best blog of all time. She also offered to destroy her brother's relationship with his girlfriend and "have him stalk me." Frankly anyone who whores out their brother and senselessly destroys relationships for my personal benefit can party with me any day of the week. So I award you 50 points, Leslie. You're currently tied with Tulane Chris, who was awarded 50 points for streaking through UPenn on the Fourth of July. Because public nudity and extreme acts of kindness are equally heartwarming, you know?

So here's the deal guys: go here and go here. Vote for us. Then get your friends to vote for us. Then get your grandma to vote for us. And if she's dead, dig her ass up and make her vote for us Weekend at Bernie's style. I know it's kind of irritating because you have to make a little account for yourself, but I swear it takes like 15 seconds max. And we both know you're not doing anything else right now. So yes. Please. Vote. Get friends to vote. Dead grandma. Bernie Lomax. Self promotion. I feel awkward. Time to abruptly segway into Tulane Chris' 80s/90s Sitcoms with Strong Female Lead(s) Drinking Game!
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Rules:
Drink for:
- Shoulder pads. Drink twice if they're worn by a fairly small woman who
looks kind of freakish with them.

- Articles of clothing that don't really have an English name. "Blanche
Devereaux is wearing sort of a... sequined... cagoul-blouse with
stirrups?"

- Drink if the episode touches on a hot-button women's issue, like
breast cancer screening, abortion, or hormone replacement therapy.

- Drink if the episode centers on a trite women's issue, like losing
weight but then learning to love your body but then losing weight
anyway.

- If Bea Arthur is involved.

- Drink when a character pays lip service to feeling guilty about binge
eating, and then drinks a pint of melted ice cream.

- Drink when a character delivers a tirade-homily about how things are
different now. Drink twice if this is directed at a male authority
figure - doctor, lawyer, Indian chief. (It will be.)

- Drink when a character drinks. (This one works really well with Cybill.)

- Drink for a Historic Episode, such as Ellen coming out or Maude having
an abortion.

- Drink for every awkwardly explained "Suzanne Sugarbaker Goes to Israel
to Live in a Moshav" mid-series cast change (Designing Women will fuck
you up on this.)

- Drink every time the "progressive" character chides the "traditional"
characters about being open about their sexuality. Drink three times
if this is immediately played for laughs by having the progressive
character be shocked by something.

- Drink for that weird wispy-yet-immobile hair that was for some reason
considered attractive between 1985 - 1992. (No man wants to run his
hands through the AquaNet topiary.)

- Drink if the theme song is sung by a white woman who thinks she has
soul, but is mistaken. Double if it's about friends or making it on
one's own. Quadruple for the Maude theme song.

As per always, thank you so much for reading and voting and voting and Lomaxing and Twittering and facebooking and oh gosh we just love you! Have a great weekend and we'll see you back here Monday morning!

16 comments:

Laura said...

There is nothing I hate more than creating a user profile (except maybe fish), so you're lucky you fucking rock Meg...

Cassandre said...

I'm with Laura. I hate hate HATE creating a profile but you guys are the f'ing best! So I did it for you and hillarity!

Anonymous said...

I really wanted to vote for you but the site wouldn't let me create a profile! it kept saying "Captcha failed" what the hell does that mean? Now i'm pissed cause you just lost a vote since it's not working for me!

jen toppe said...

the captcha failed thing:

to the right of where you put in all your info (name, birthday, username and password) you have to fill in the blank with the words that are written all squiggly. its to make sure computers dont vote without an actual users permission (or something). does this even make sense? ive had too much coffee today. go back and vote!

and meg, i signed up and voted for your bitch ass for both contests. and all that signing up really took a lot out of me, so i think its time for a nap. what do you get if you win? a patent for one of your inventions??

Anonymous said...

longest. 15. seconds. ever.

be glad procrastination is my goal today.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

You're all saints.

Margo said...

"Aquanet topiary" is the single greatest phrase I've ever read.

Anonymous said...

did it!! if you lose to a blog called 'as the butter churns' it will be a disgrace upon all of us

Les said...

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't squeal with delight after reading my mention in the blog and then subsequently fuck up a customers order( I'm a waitress in Alabama- let your cliches run wild). Well worth the 1.00 insult tip.

Everyone vote.
And 2b1b, you always have a place to stay if youre ever in Alabama. As a matter of fact I know quite a few people that would give up thier beds for you...as well as thier brothers.(unless thier doing them- this is Alabama we are talking about..)

much love
-Leslie in Alabama

PS My bro lives on capital hill , and he just might be alone tonight.... But you didn't hear that from me..

Anonymous said...

I voted!

And this may be the best drinking game Friday ever!

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

"did it!! if you lose to a blog called 'as the butter churns' it will be a disgrace upon all of us"

BAHAHAHA. My thoughts exactly.

And Leslie = best sister-in-law ever.

CheechaB said...

Hey, just wanted to let you know (even though she'll be pissed because she hearts self deprecation rather than self promotion) that Leslie from Alabama has a blog of her own that is quite funny. If you have some time to kill on the interwebs, you can find her deepest thoughts at broganhearted.blogspot.com.

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