Self promotion makes me highly uncomfortable. But it has to be done. Thus, I would like to thank Leslie from Alabama for nominating 2birds1blog for the 2009 Blogger's Choice Awards for both best humor blog and best blog of all time. She also offered to destroy her brother's relationship with his girlfriend and "have him stalk me." Frankly anyone who whores out their brother and senselessly destroys relationships for my personal benefit can party with me any day of the week. So I award you 50 points, Leslie. You're currently tied with Tulane Chris, who was awarded 50 points for streaking through UPenn on the Fourth of July. Because public nudity and extreme acts of kindness are equally heartwarming, you know?
So here's the deal guys: go here and go here. Vote for us. Then get your friends to vote for us. Then get your grandma to vote for us. And if she's dead, dig her ass up and make her vote for us Weekend at Bernie's style. I know it's kind of irritating because you have to make a little account for yourself, but I swear it takes like 15 seconds max. And we both know you're not doing anything else right now. So yes. Please. Vote. Get friends to vote. Dead grandma. Bernie Lomax. Self promotion. I feel awkward. Time to abruptly segway into Tulane Chris' 80s/90s Sitcoms with Strong Female Lead(s) Drinking Game!
- Shoulder pads. Drink twice if they're worn by a fairly small woman who
looks kind of freakish with them.
- Articles of clothing that don't really have an English name. "Blanche
Devereaux is wearing sort of a... sequined... cagoul-blouse with
- Drink if the episode touches on a hot-button women's issue, like
breast cancer screening, abortion, or hormone replacement therapy.
- Drink if the episode centers on a trite women's issue, like losing
weight but then learning to love your body but then losing weight
- If Bea Arthur is involved.
- Drink when a character pays lip service to feeling guilty about binge
eating, and then drinks a pint of melted ice cream.
- Drink when a character delivers a tirade-homily about how things are
different now. Drink twice if this is directed at a male authority
figure - doctor, lawyer, Indian chief. (It will be.)
- Drink when a character drinks. (This one works really well with Cybill.)
- Drink for a Historic Episode, such as Ellen coming out or Maude having
- Drink for every awkwardly explained "Suzanne Sugarbaker Goes to Israel
to Live in a Moshav" mid-series cast change (Designing Women will fuck
you up on this.)
- Drink every time the "progressive" character chides the "traditional"
characters about being open about their sexuality. Drink three times
if this is immediately played for laughs by having the progressive
character be shocked by something.
- Drink for that weird wispy-yet-immobile hair that was for some reason
considered attractive between 1985 - 1992. (No man wants to run his
hands through the AquaNet topiary.)
- Drink if the theme song is sung by a white woman who thinks she has
soul, but is mistaken. Double if it's about friends or making it on
one's own. Quadruple for the Maude theme song.
As per always, thank you so much for reading and voting and voting and Lomaxing and Twittering and facebooking and oh gosh we just love you! Have a great weekend and we'll see you back here Monday morning!