6.08.2010

4 quick things:

1.) Teresa and I are going to see Conan tonight at DAR, finally fulfilling the plans we made oh-so-many years ago. Unfortunately there aren't any words in the English language to express what I feel, so I'm forced to rely on this photograph to express my current emotional state:
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2.) I was out with Becca and her fiance, Geoff, last night and at one point Geoff excused himself to go to the bathroom, returned, reached into his pocket and fished out an (unused) urinal cake and hand full of tea lights that he'd stolen for me.
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Honesty alert: the urinal cake was on the table next to my bed all night and I woke up this morning to my apartment filled with the delicious scent of bubble gum. And it was delightful. That's right. I'm using a urinal cake as an air freshener. Do with that what you will.

3.) Becca informed me last night that we'll be in Dublin for the Bloomsday Bike Messenger Rally. And now I'm going to tell you exactly what I told her in complete seriousness: There's a 98% chance that I'm going to get pregnant next week. And more importantly, if I don't get pregnant or contract syphilis in the 10 days we'll be in Ireland, I will consider it a personal failure. There it is. The truth. Judge not lest ye be judged.

4. ) Becca also informed me that while we're staying in Kenmare, we'll be taking a day trip to bike the "tip of Dingle." I mean, really? Saying, "I almost peed my pants when she told me that" is such a gross understatement that it's comical. Because the common denominator between me, Alex and Geoff is our juvenile frat boy sense of humor. Alex and I frequently play a game called "I'll _____ your _____." And the way you play is you look around the room, fill in the blanks in a suggestive tone and laugh at yourself for an inappropriate length of time. (i.e.: I'll Baja your Fresh.) Likewise, at my mom's birthday BBQ over the weekend, my aunt picked up a hot dog with a pair of tongs and Geoff said, "Wow Andie, you're really tonging that wiener." ...I honest-to-god laughed-out-loud thinking about it again this morning. Days later. And we're all going to be riding the tip of Dingle? Seriously? It's just such an unbelievable gimme that I'm almost curious what the catch is. After Becca informed us of this, Geoff and I locked eyes across the table and rapid-fired shot the following back and forth:

- How big is the tip of Dingle?

- How wide is the tip of Dingle?

- How long will we be riding the tip of Dingle?

- Is the tip of Dingle going to be a rough or smooth ride?

- I'm so glad we'll be riding the tip of Dingle together.

- I'm going to be so sore from riding the tip of Dingle.

- Thank God we'll just be riding the tip; the rest of it is huge.

- Make sure to bring comfortable pants because I hear the tip of Dingle is an intense ride.

- I hope we stop for lunch so I can say, "Man, I am stuffed from riding the tip of Dingle!

- I hope I fall off my bike so I can say, "I can't stop bleeding from riding the tip of Dingle!"

- If it rains, "I'm still wet from riding the tip of Dingle!"

- Becca: "Maybe there'll be a whale; check out the tip of Dingle's blow hole! Or like, look at the waves slap up on the rocks?" [Geoff and I look at each other and shake our heads] "That's just crass Rebecca...that's just crass."

I AM SO EXCITED FOR IRELAND.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

will you please copy and past kevin yang's email on a blog post so we can laugh and you don't have to?

Nicole said...

Dingle is AMAZING and was my favorite part of Ireland! The guys there don't speak English and are beautiful. And they all drink.

Rebecca said...

There's a guy who has a Celtic museum somewhere along the Dingle peninsula. He was speaking all Irishy until I said we were from DC; then he dropped the accent and said "I bet you are from Maryland or Virginia." Apparently he has family in Glen Burnie. And he's from Connecticut. I stopped in there bc I had to take a crap and ended up staying to look at the World's Largest Mastadon Head. True Story.

Rebecca said...

Oh and there's a goat tied to a stick out front of the place.

Steph said...

have fun in ireland! so jealous that you're going. just a heads up though, dingle kiiiiiiiiiiiinda seriously sucks. i was there two years ago, and i too was super excited to go to this magical place called dingle. but seriously, all dingle has a fun-loving dolphin named Fungi that never leaves the bay, and that's about it. the people there are pretty interesting though, one guy slapped my ass as i was walking down the street and when i started yelling at him he gave me 10 euros. soo i guess that's a plus? have fun!

Mademoiselle Hautemess said...

Wear protection while riding the tip of dingle! You wouldn't want to come back with any sores!

Bonnie said...

Fyi, in the city of dingle, they are obsessed with a dolphin named fungi. Do with that what you will.

becausepeopleareidiots said...

I loved this--frat boy humor is the best type of humor. I would chest bump and/or fist pound with you right now if I could.

Anonymous said...

Regarding #4

I am proud to say that I have played that exact game many a time. It works well for road trip car games. :D

"Mike" said...

So are you going to the Nats game tonight to witness the Second Coming?

cj said...

four quick things:

1. meg, you are not nearly as amusing as you would like to think you are.

2. it's called TL;DR- look into it some time before you ramble on about the state of your life in size 8 font.

3. i'm really glad you're going to ireland- just try not to act like the obnoxious human being that you come off as in this blog. we'd like to improve our reputation in this country.

4. i guess it must be a dc thing to carry around a bag with such a ridiculously unfunny inside joke. yeah, it's probably a dc thing.

Angie said...

Woah woah cj--jump back. What crawled up your ass and died???

Anonymous said...

"CJ" may/should stand for the following:

1. Cunt Juice
2. Cunt Juice
3. Cunt Juice

There are admittedly a few other possibilities, but "Cunt Juice" just seems too perfect.

pook555 said...

Meg, I'm jealous and want to go to Ireland too (I've been there as a kid, as that's where my dad's family is from)!! And Dingle, hahahahaha!

Plus, what is wrong with CJ, yeesh (maybe it's Kevin Yang??).

Caitlin said...

That CJ person can suck a donkey cock.

Anonymous said...

oohhh Kevin Yang has a boyfriend and his name is CJ. Interesting.

Ashley said...

No explanation for No-Post Monday? I'm a little disappointed, Meg.

jen toppe said...

i have to say, this is the only blog i've ever followed, but i find it SO weird how the readers are so quick to judge the writers. meg and chris are currently doing this for free. its pretty much a hobby. until they are getting a paycheck for it. so yeah, no post mondays suck. but its basically their right.

also, to cj (who im pretty sure is probably a follower of kevin yangs blog) there are obviously a whole bunch of people who DO think meg is as funny as she thinks she is. otherwise there probably wouldnt be so many followers on here. if you aren't one of them, instead of wasting your time trying to make someone else feel bad, why don't you not read her blog.

meg started writing this blog to entertain herself and her friends, and along the way picked up tons of random followers. so either we all aren't funny, or we share a sense of humor different from yours. if you don't like it, spend your free time surfing some other site.

Nicole said...

CJ's sense of humor doesn't suck...it's just that he has none. Poor guy.

Anonymous said...

CJ's gonna die!

Anonymous said...

CJ is definitely going on the top grudges of all time list!

Anonymous said...

Two of my great-grandparents were born in Dingle. So I guess I have a quarter Dingle in me. It is gorgeous there, have a great time!!

Cait Ratch said...

you will be SO wet from riding the tip of Dingle. I did that a week ago today, and Dingle was the most moist peninsula in Ireland. FYI there is nothing to do there but look. Also getting to/from Dingle is a BETCH...make sure you drive thru Connor's Pass with your head out the window like a Dog. Please get pregnant so we can both have Irish babies at the same time and yours can be baby O'mcBlogger.

Anonymous said...

No one in Ireland doesn't speak English.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, that is not true. There are areas of Ireland known as "gaeltachts" (Dingle being one of them) in which their native language is Irish, and English is not spoken.

adri1624 said...

According to my friend, and huge dingle enthusiast:

"Well guess, what. there may not be a whale. but there is a dolphin, named fungi, so she WILL be able to say "check out the tip of Dingle's blow hole!"

AND

it'll probs rain so she can say " "I'm still wet from riding the tip of Dingle!"

Just thought I'd pass that along, Meg!

Stephanie said...

Hey, CJ:

Fuck yourself

Love, Steph (on behalf of all the 2b1b readers)

Santa Chiara said...

TRUE STORY: I studied abroad in Ireland for a semester in college, and some of my friends and I spent a weekend in Dingle, which immediately became my favorite part of Ireland for the following three reasons:

#1) the ENTIRE TIME we were there, plus the whole epic bus ride down and back, I annoyed my friends by shouting "DINGLE ALL THE WAY!" and making them crazy.

#2) on our very first night out at the Dingle bars we ran into a mob of cute Irish boys at a bachelor party. We hung out with them for hours until we decided our pub crawl would be tragic if we only crawled to one pub, so we walked down the street to another pub, where we promptly ran into the corresponding bachelorette party, and I have never in all my born days seen a drunker bride. She set her sights on me (maybe I was wearing a super cute dress, I don't know) and would not leave me the fuck alone until I left my group and came and did the conga line with her and her drunk sisters, bridesmaids and lady friends.

#3) There was this seriously amazing woolen goods store (I know that's a pathetic old-lady sentence but bear with me) that was having this INSANE clearance sale on wool scarves, so surprise surprise, everyone I have ever known since the dawn of time got Irish wool scarves for Christmas and LOVED them, and none of them ever found out that each one cost me seriously like AN dollar.

Dingle all the way,
Claire

Nick_H said...

cj,

Four quick things (a response):

1. Given her references to her lower than average self-esteem, she probably isn't as amusing as she thinks she is. But she is as amusing as we (yourself excluded), and several other recognized places think she is. There are some awards over there on the sidebar, if you haven't noticed. Awards usually mean someone is doing something right.

2. For someone who doesn't like this blog, you are trying awfully hard to read it. You want a bigger font size AND TL;DR? Are you for real, man? You want a TL;DR at the end of War and Peace, too? How about a TL;DR at the bottom of the Mona Lisa? (That last one doesn't make sense, just go with it).

3. This point was addressed well by Meg in today's post. I know you're still here lurking, so go read it and try not to find it amusing.

4. For someone who clearly trolls this blog a lot, you seem to be oblivious to the fact that inside jokes are the grease that keeps the wheels turning around here. Also, printing an inside joke on a tote bag that will be seen by the masses is a pretty good marketing move (intended or not). Think about that...well, that and capitalizing the letters on the first words of you sentences. Good grammar is key to being taken seriously, I hear.

TL;DR, you're an ass.

Anonymous said...

CJ should go suck the tip of Dingle.

Anonymous said...

Yes but noone doesn't speak English. The last person who spoke Irish exclusively died years ago.

S.W. said...

Annonymous has a quarter dingle in them.

bwahahahahaha!

Angelle said...

I completely agree with Jen Toppe on the basis that she sent me to read this awhile ago and shit is FUNNY!!! So Meg and Chris, keep on doing what you do and we who appreciate your humor, will keep reading.

Anonymous said...

CJ should go ahead and suck the tip of Dingle.

I think you are very amusing! And I am not from DC and am planning on buying a Sorr About the Bag bag with my first paycheck! So :P

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