Washington Post Wednesdays

From Monday’s Washington Post, 9/22/08

‘First Dude’ Todd Palin Illustrates Alaska’s Blend of Private and Public

“…Todd Palin has become involved in policy, sitting in on his wife’s meetings, traveling on state business and weighing in on some legislative issues.

John Harris, the Republican speaker of the Alaska House, said he had never been called by the spouse of a governor before the two calls he got from Todd Palin. One was to argue for moving the state capitol to Anchorage. The other was to ask Harris to 'keep an eye' on a key aide who had an affair with the wife of one of Todd’s best friends.

Political hands in both parties say the Palins are often referred to as a team—'Sarah and Todd'—and one Democratic lawmaker said Todd Palin has become her 'de facto chief of staff…."

I would like to reiterate that this is not a political blog nor I am I a political scientist. Usually, I want absolutely nothing to do with anything even remotely political, but for some reason I can’t stop myself from reading about Sarah Palin. She’s like a messy, lane-closing, jaws-of-life-needing car accident that I cannot stop staring at, no matter how many nightmares I know it’s going to produce.

Because I’ve sheltered my anxiety-prone self from the nerve-wracking world of politics, I get lost easily. It helps when I put things into a more personal context, so I can relate a little more easily.

When I read this article, for example I translated it to: Sarah and Todd Palin = Spencer and Heidi from The Hills. It makes sense to me; they’re both a team comprised of partners where the female is the breadwinner in the spotlight and the male is the manager manipulating things behind the scenes; all parties involved are generally accepted as flaming douche bags among society; both couples are active Republicans campaigning for McCain; both Heidi and Sarah are hottie airheads and both Spencer and Todd have creepy goatees and make me feel extremely uncomfortable.

The more I thought about it, The Hills relates to life on The Hill pretty closely. From what I’ve heard from friends and family who work there, it’s just like high school, but a lot less well dressed. Thus I give you the cast of...


Lauren Conrad –> Barack Obama
The good guy, the hero, and the everyman we relate to.

"Speidi" –> "Torah"
The nemeses of the Lauren Conrad character. Irritating couple who are sneaky, questionable and hide behind a mask of righteousness. I think I’d enjoy politics a lot more if Sarah Palin told Perez Hilton that Barack Obama had “beef curtains,” however.

Audrina –> Joe Lieberman
Sort of an ambiguous character these days…at first he was a Democratic vice-presidential candidate. Now he’s a registered independent flirting with the Republican Party. Joe Lieberman, you are a sexy brunette who needs to make up their mind and stop making me cry all of my black liquid eyeliner off! Now get out of my pool house!

Whitney –> Hillary Clinton
Driven, successful, competitive, career oriented strong women who we never see get laid.

Lauren “Lo” Bosworth –> Joe Biden
Our hero’s right-hand man who’s always got his back. Both are loyal and slightly cross-eyed.

Stephanie Pratt –> Meghan McCain
Oh the sting of family betrayal!

What happened this week on THE HILL: Barack depearts The Hill to go campaigning, leaving Joe Biden and Joe Lieberman awkwardly alone in The House to bond. Sarah and Todd Palin continue to mend their rocky relationship, which suffers further when Sarah’s sister betrays "Torah" when she has lunch with Obama. Meghan McCain goes to a fundraising dinner with her father, breaking the #1 unspoken BFF rule on The Hill. Joe Lieberman can’t keep his big mouth shut and tells everyone on The Hill about Meghan McCain’s betrayal, including Sarah Palin one drunken night at the 18th Street Lounge. Joe Lieberman confesses he misses Sarah Palin and has never really had anything against her. The two decide they should totally hang out more, right in front of Joe Biden, who is totally going to tell Obama the first chance he gets. Obama finds out about Meghan McCain’s shady business and wonders if everyone was right about her…



Anonymous said...

SUCH a great comparison. I wish Justin Bobby was included.

Anonymous said...

I think we ALL know the last thing Sarah and Todd want, is to be called "TORAH" which is the Jewish book of prayer. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torah

Anonymous said...

Can we talk about the fact that I was in the midst of watching The Hills when I started reading this? I now have a much deeper understanding of both situations.

ALSO: Trapped in a box for 29 hours with Speidi or Torah? GO.

(I would go with Speidi; I have a very real fascination with Spencer Pratt that I will not apologize for.)

xo Helena

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

1- DAMNIT! justin bobby...good call. i'll include him next week.

2- what if i call them "KORAN"?


2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

helena- yiiikes good one...i think without a doubt i would pick speidi. torah would spend the 29 hours trying to save my damned jewish soul whereas speidi would just want to talk shit about lauren conrad. i can handle that.

also, i would like to point out that in the past 5 days i've learned that you have a fascination with both pauly shore and spencer pratt. hmm...

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pakistani dresses online uk said...

I think we ALL know the last thing Sarah and Todd want, is to be called "TORAH" which is the Jewish book of prayer. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torah

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