5.04.2009

Update!

- Although Matt Roberts, inventor of The Tinge vibrator slash razor, had enough free time to read my blog, comment on my blog and send me a passive-aggressive email mocking my broken Slammock dreams, he is faaarrrrr too busy to respond to my Tinge Challenge. In the words of the great Stephanie Tanner; how rude! In the words of the greater Mr. Bear; go fuck yourself dickweed.

- I still have yet to hug John McCain. I believe this is directly correlated to the tears I cry every night and the nightmares I wake from every morning.

- Although I lost The Great JDate Debate, I never emailed my J-Stud. This is primarily because I don't have a JDate account and refuse to pay $40 for a one-month subscription just to email him. It's a recession and sorry guy, but you're not $40 hot. $15 hot? Sure! But $40? Pfff, please...I'm not even $40 hot, so don't take it too personally.

Oddly enough, a few weeks after our debate, JDate matched Anna's roommate Jill with JStud #1. She emailed him and heard crickets back. Perhaps he was too busy ruminating about how cool the ocean is or was on a hat factory tour somewhere. Our loss.

- Although I still think I'm cursed, I never went in for my reiki-healing session. This, again, is related to my lack of the monies. However, I opened my umbrella in my apartment by accident last week and have now convinced myself that I've doubled my curse and will die of swine flu the H1N1 virus soon. Maybe I'll start saving the Mall Madness dollars I get paid in and actually go?

- Alex got me a subscription to GQ for my birthday! (Please don't tell my mom.)

- Lazy-Eyed Tim's story checked out. He really is best friends with my boss. Even better, he apparently just took over the DC/MD/NoVa veneer territory and will from now on be working out of our office frequently. We already have an event scheduled together in two weeks...soooo get ready for more Lazy-Eyed Tim stories!

- Despite my best efforts, Helena still hasn't gotten Twitter. Thus, I will be ghost-writing Helena's Twitter updates until she gets an account of her own. Follow "her" at twitter.com/hojo6969
.

34 comments:

Laura said...

YOU WILL HUG JOHN MCCAIN BEFORE 2010! I have a lot of faith in that... do not forget my drunken encouragement!

Erin said...

Speaking of hugging people. Ive been rapidly spreading the word about your blog. And I was like OMG how freaking cool is Meg. I seriously want to start a hug Meg mission much like her McCain one. So now when I send people the link Im like oh and you should email her that I am not a creeper/stalker but just want to meet her. Although sometimes Im like wait she doesnt like people and then I get all paranoid that I wouldnt be cool enough (1 thing I do have going for me is that I dont have a rolly bag). Its like a catch 22. *sigh*

Rachel said...

so erin, are u starting a "I want to Hug Meg" campaign?

Erin said...

heck yeah. i need to make a blog....

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

HA! "...Although sometimes Im like wait she doesn't like people..."

Oh come now! I like people! Just not most people!

If I met you, I'd totally give you a meaningful hug. I'm not a hug snob like some other people not worth mentioning (cough, Mr. McCain, cough).

Erin said...

All right. Who is in?

http://teamhugmeg.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

i'm glad my lazy eye list was helpful, but i'm sorry i ruined veronica mars for you. i can't watch the last two episodes because that means i'm admitting it ended!

luckily kristen bell has charm coming out of her armpit, unlike lazy eye tim, so it more than makes up for it.

speaking of lazy eyed tim, i hope you run into him while drunk at a local bar and proceed to challenge him to a staring contest. i've done it before. it was hilarious for the people surrounding us...me, not so much.

Anonymous said...

plus, you don't have to look at kristen bell on gossip girl, just listen to her narration.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Holy shit you really did it. True or false: you are more bored at your job than I am at mine?

Erin said...

true true and prolly a little more true. youre tax payer dollars hard at work.

M.R. said...

This blog is so hilarious. I'm giving you one of those silly blog awards: http://allthingsfabu.blogspot.com/2009/05/thank-you-justin.html

Congrats!

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

I will take any and every award I get and be grateful. So thank you.

Tahir said...

Inexplicably, I "met" both of you in a dream I had last night. I asked who you were based on what color you write in. I'm gonna file this under "signs I read blogs/tweet too much."

Also, I'm pretty sure I was Wolverine.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

That is amazing.

That's why Chris and I always dress in our blogging colors when we go out together. You should start dressing as Wolverine to ease confusion as well.

cait said...

just making sure you've read this babysitter's club blog:

claudiasroom.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

You may have already seen this:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/32bbf2a08d/late-line-special-report-snuggies-warm-comfortable-deadly

but there are others who share your crusade against the snuggie!

Helena said...

You play dirty, madam. I feel like I've been raped and am now pregnant with a Twitter baby that I can't abort. But I'll learn to love it because it came from you.

Steph said...

I am in. I want to hug Meg. I realized today this blog is like going out to dinner and ordering the best dish you've ever had...you savour each bite and as your plate gets emptier so does your heart...and when you finally finish eating it's kinda sad. It was a kickass meal but its like "....I guess Im done? damn." Thats how I feel everytime I finish reading the days post.......I just want more

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

That's the best review ever. I'll hug the shit out of you any day of the week.

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