Happy Columbus Day!

Greetings from Alex's Monday Morning Mimosa Party (MMMP, if you will) and a Happy Columbus Day to you! Like any true-blooded American, I'll be celebrating the subtle raping of a people and a Nation the way I celebrate all great American holidays—with alcohol and mini flags!

If you are at work today
you are a terrorist.

Have a great day and we'll see you back here tomorrow!


Stephanie said...

It's also Canadian thanksgiving. Time to get drunk and be irritated by various family members. Yessssssss!

Rachel said...

horray terrorism. i'm stuck "babysitting ghosts" all day.

leedigsdeep said...

Clearly terrorism is running rampant here at my work. It's suspiciously quiet...

Margo said...

My boss is "working from home", yet I am office bound in Alexandria. The terrorists have won.

Grant said...

I don't think the rape and pillaging was too subtle. Europeans pretty much just went at it from day one.

James said...

EVERYONE IS HERE TODAY. I knew this company was un-American. I can't wait to be unemployed.

Caitlin said...

Who's Columbus? Why do you call it a holiday? We in Louisiana don't know any holiday but Mardi Gras.

We never even got school off for Columbus Day...sheesh.

James said...

Ha, you think Columbus Day is bad, I remember getting school off for Pulaski Day. Go on, tell me what it is without an internet search.

Caitlin said...

Pulaski - didn't he just get arrested for having sex with a 13 year old 30 something years ago? :)

Tristan said...

Try Fair Day, in Frederick, MD you get on Friday the week of the Frederick County Fair! It was great and sad, but true. I miss it now. But we never got off for Columbus Day, never heard of it. Just cruise around McDonalds on a Friday night and ask, they all went to fair day!

James said...

Caitlin, YES. Nail on head. And in celebration the children get the day off of school to learn the differences between rape and rape-rape.

Stephanie said...

I see a fellow Louisianian has already bemoaned the fact that we have no idea what Columbus Day is down here... I'm at work inbetween teaching classes right now. Of course, we DO get out of school for Mardi Gras, and for longer than one day, sooo... I think that wins. (Especially since my job is at a school and out of class equals PTO for me!) Like any good New Orleans girl, I'd rather toss a bead than wave a flag anyway.

Margo said...

I see James is a fellow Chicagoan, and yes Pulaski Day was awesome because it was always right around my birthday. Yay public school!

Mike Licht said...

Today is "Native American Day" in South Dakota.

Discovered: New painting of Columbus.

See: http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/columbus-day/

Bill said...

Try getting a day off in November for the first day of Buck season in PA. And for those of you who have no idea what Buck season is, its a day off to kill deer.

Little kids playing outside while men are a mere hundred yards away shooting rifles and drinking beer. Thank you 2nd Amendment.

cal ;) said...

i live in columbus, ohio, and everyone except governmental agencies has to work today. um, hi. our city was named for this dude and i still have to be at work?!

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

A conversation from Alex's MMMP (mid Saw III):

Meg: WAIT. Alex.

Alex: Yes Meg?

Meg: Did you know that two people commented on my blog today who don't know what Columbus Day is and both are from Louisiana?

Alex: Well. Clearly they are the terrorists.

...We're on to you, Louisiana.

James said...


Alex said...


Caitlin said...

I guess I should say that I do know what Columbus Day is, but they never closed schools and businesses for it, so I never got the importance of it.

But shit, I guess we've been outed as being drunk Cajun terrorists. So much for that alligator attack on the White House...

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Well played, sir.

Now please get me more champagne.

Alex said...

Or, in the alternative, http://standupforamerica.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/carville-yelling.jpg

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Ooo! This comes up in a google image search for "Louisiana Terrorism" and is particularly poignant on a day like todday:


2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...


Alex, try that. And thank you for the champagne.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

God damnit, Alex. Well, it's a ye olde picture of a bunch of Native Americans holding guns and it says "Homeland Security - Fighting Terrorism Since 1492.

Now back to Saw III and mimosas.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Also, I appreciate that the comment board has been taken over by me and you communicating with each other even though we're literally 3 feet apart.

Alex said...


Anonymous said...

ps. nice to know the blackagendareport.com is one of the many URLs blocked at my workplace.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...


Stephanie said...

Ok, any other state and I could agree that there might be terrorism a'float, but seriously, Louisiana? The only thing a'floatin here is our ice cubes. In our to-go cups.

Life's too short to waste time terrorizing.

Dallasite 101 said...


My whole day was thrown off minus the 2B1B love that usually starts and ends my week. Not only am I working today... but also have been asked to stay late to answer phones. FML...

P.S. Thought for Drinking Game Friday...Dazed and Confused DGF...for those that enjoy ALL recreational activities!

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Alright alright alright.

James said...

MEG! I have a suggestion. The DDGF, or Drunk Drinking Game Friday. You've been drinking for, what? 6 hours now? 7? WRITE A DGF in your drunken haze and let's see how it turns out! It really doesnt even matter the topic. More just what drunk Meg thinks is a good idea to drink when drinking. I realize, this may be a horrible idea, but I don't think so. I think we're discovering brilliance here. YES.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

INTERESTING IDEA. The DGF scheduled for this week was written partially drunk, does that count?

Leigh said...

Came across this during my job search...


its literally a blogging job, of course i thought of you two

ashzilla said...

ok, so this (again) unrelated, but omg omg omg you GOT to read this hahaha


its about "My Monkey Baby"

James said...

I'm gonna make a game-time decision and say yes, that does count. When do we get the blog post from 8:00AM-but-already-high Meg?

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Thank you Leigh! And that's horrifying Ashzilla and that would be the worst blog post ever James. It would probably just be me writing about how I can't feel my face for a few hundred paragraphs...

That being said, I'll see what I can do.

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