10.23.2009

An Drinking Game Friday to Remember

Happy Drinking Game Friday gang! This week flew, HUH?! Sorry. Jesus. Why do I always irritate myself on Drinking Game Fridays? Anyway, before we get to this week's drinking game, there's something we need to talk about. My frequent misuse of "An." Yeah. It's on the table. Sit down. Let's talk about it.

If you don't read and/or take part in the comments section (and I don't know why you wouldn't; according to my mom it's the most entertaining part of the entire blog. You know, the part I don't write.) you may not know that I was called out by numerous people for the following grammar mistake in yesterday's post:

"Uggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," she sighed as she rolled her eyes and moved her body AN single millimeter so I could pass.

For the record, I am 100% aware of how grammatically incorrect this sentence is and I know I should have used "a" where I used "an". It's an inside joke. We ironically misuse "an" to emphasize how small of an amount something is. For example:

"I asked her for more pickles and she gave me like, AN single pickle."

Some inside jokes translate well on the blog, some do not. This might be the latter. It was born at 4:30 in the morning at a train station in Stuttgart, Germany and involved horse tranquilizers...sooooo maybe I shouldn't have tested it in these waters. But I did. And the overall consensus seems to be that a.) nobody likes it and b.) everyone is relieved to learn that I'm not as grammatically-challenged as I originally seemed. Which I can handle! I decided I would stop using it on the blog but obviously continue to use it in my every day life. And then I got this email from Andrew, of The Great Juno Debate fame:

"[...]I love you and your blog dearly, but twice now in recent entries you've used "an" where you mean "a." Grammar mistakes make me as sad as my train schedule shirt makes you. :("

AND GOD DAMNIT! So, fuck it! I'm officially retiring AN. I'm carefully wrapping it in bubble wrap, putting in a box marked "Memories," taping it up and putting in the basement where it will inevitably get destroyed in a flood or eaten by mice. So there. I hope you're all happy.

AND NOW YOU ALL GET A RECYCLED DRINKING GAME! Not so much because I'm bitter about AN falling flat on it's face (WHICH I AM), but more so because it's the official movie of Meg's Fall Fun Day and this year's MFFD is this Sunday! MFFD might be the most glorious day of the entire year. And by might, I obviously mean is. Every fall since 2005, Helena, Alex, Andrew, Danielle and I pick a day in October, pile into my little Malibu Stacy car and drive up to Lariland Farms in Woodsboro, Maryland where we pick apples, get pumpkins, drink cinder, take inappropriate pictures with phallic-shaped gourds and such and then go back to Helena's house to make pies, carve pumpkins and drink our faces off while we play this week's drinking game—The Sleepy Hollow Drinking Game!


Heaving bosoms, Johnny Depp in tight pants and Christopher Walken. What could be better?

Rules:
Drink When:
- Someone’s head gets chopped off
- Christopher Walken makes a “GAHHHHHHH!!!!” noise
- Someone faints
- You see a burning pumpkin
- Katrina’s bosom heaves
- Bram acts like a jackass (I understand this is subjective…just drink when Casper van Dien is on screen)
- Someone goes in or out of the Tree of the Dead
- Ichabod thinks out loud
- Ichabod uses of dat dem der fancy big city detective methods/tools
- Ichabod has a flashback to his childhood featuring his mother’s inappropriate cleavage pouring out everywhere and anywhere

As always, thank you so much for reading, forwarding, emailing, tweeting and the like. We feel strongly about you. I'm not quite sure if it's love...but I think it could grow into love. And now we're making out. In my mind. Blokay! We'll see you next week!

180 comments:

RecessionistaDC said...

Noooooo! Meg, I think you should totally keep "an" as part of your blog vocab. Why is everyone being so anal retentive? This is your blog so you should do as you please.

Anonymous said...

I TOTALLY got the misuse of the a/an AND I thought it exaggerated the fact that she only moved a millimeter. So I am not a hater and I hope it makes you feel better that at least one person understood and appreciated your irony :) RIP 'AN' Too bad.

David said...

I may have just found this blog through a friend a week or two ago (by the way, thank you for helping me to retain my sanity at work) but the whole "AN" thing should NOT be retired. Fuck the grammar nazis with a Hellboy-shaped fist if they can't take a damned joke. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

WOAH WOAH WOAH! Where was Team AN yesterday when I was getting thrown to the wolves?!?!

Mason Lane said...

ohmygodiloveyoumeg! This is the first time i'm commenting on your blog, but your posts make me smile everyday. thankyou.

and PLEASE do not retire the AN! i do the SAME EXACT THING with my friends and there really is no better way.

you're awesome. at least in writing.

Courtney said...

The whole reason those people are calling you out is because they have an inferiority complex about their own grammar.

"OMG! Meg said AN when the next word starts with a consonant! WHAT AN IDIOT! I'm going to TOTALLY CALL HER OUT!!"

"Hey Meg! YOUR an idiot! See that sentence THEY'RE?? You said "an" and not "a" and that's wrong!!"

Finally, I called someone else out for a grammar mistake on THERE blog.

Gosh, I feel mighty fine about myself.

Keep up the ANs.

LW said...

I just want you to know that you prevented me from going to jail today. As soon as I got in this morning my coworker came over to me and was like "hey, yo...whatup...listen, would you mind doing all my work for me?! kthanks!" She then proceeded to micromanage me for the next 2 hours. Ohhh, I'm sorry?! Who are you and WHY do you care about getting work done on a Friday?! Our boss isn't even here?!?!

Soooo...before I cut a bitch, I decided to check out what DGF was all about this week. Needless to say it made me laugh, calmed me down, and prevented me from pulling ever last blonde-streaked hair out of her head. She may or may not look exactly like that little tramp at CVS.

too far???

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

you're awesome. at least in writing.
HAHA! Back-handed compliments are now officially a Facebook interest of mine.

Courtney, you are a hardcore member of Team AN and I thank you for it.

Soooo...before I cut a bitch, I decided to check out what DGF was all about this week. Needless to say it made me laugh, calmed me down, and prevented me from pulling ever last blonde-streaked hair out of her head. She may or may not look exactly like that little tramp at CVS.

too far????

Pshh, never. I have oddly specific fantasies involving cross-bows sometimes. Glad I could keep you out of the clink. <3

Snarky Bologns said...

DON"T RETIRE THE AN!!! My friends and I use it for the same purpose and I put it in the category of pure hilarity. People who don't get it, A. Probably don't get a lot of you subtleties - their loss and B. Say things like "I could care less"

Anonymous said...

The thought of you drinking cinder is HILARIOUS to me.

Anonymous said...

I think "AN" is a hilarious part of your blog. Please keep it!

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

The thought of you drinking cinder is HILARIOUS to me.
HAHA! Why?!

Rachel said...

for the record, i definitely understood that an was a joke. clearly why you capitalize it. anyway, keep it please. kthanks.

James said...

May I just note that you were not "called out by several eople" you were called out by AN person, which sparked a "discussion." In which most people said "Oh, it wasn't clear that was an inside joke. Awesome. Keep up the good work guurl!" (Or something like that.) In fact, the original "calling out" was actually just a question of whether it was an inside joke or not. It doesn't need to be retired, but people also don't need to be out for blood here.

PS, I'm sure an old pro like you knows this but spiced rum + cider = heaven. Try Appleton Estates Rum. Only a little more $ than Captain and 100 times as delicious, PLUS it won't cause an ulcer! I think I just discovered my weekend drink to go with my DGF. YES.

Dawn said...

I also got the use of AN as a joke and though I did not know the satire's long and decorated history, I totally GOT IT. BTW, I love that you remembered the geneology of that reference. Made it almost like great aunt ethel or something! So, I, along with most of the other commenters to today's blog, think you should keep the AN in use. We love your blog just the way it is!! Keep us laughing . . . and drinking!

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

JAMES! COOL OUT!

James said...

ZOMG That was cool! I said it doesn't need to be retired and gave you a delicious drink tip! What's wrong, homegirl?

AMcG said...

NOOO! Don't shut that down! I have noticed the ANs several times throughout the blog and you always clearly CAPS it so it's obvious that you are acknowledging it's grammatically "unofficial" usage. I absolutely love the little nuances like that and am also a huge fan of tweaking grammar rules for humor and/or conversational purposes. So please keep on keepin on!

Hungover@work said...

NOOO leave AN... It's so funny! Meg, I love the blog. Anything that can make me laugh out loud at work and then try to cover it with a cough deserves a star in my book.

Katie said...

Don't retire "AN"!! Even without knowing the inside joke, it is obvious that it was written for comedic effect. And frankly, that sentence wouldn't have been nearly as funny without the ironic use of an.

Grant said...

Lariland farms IS my childhood.

God, I haven't thought about that place in a while. Now I want to hop the bus and make my mom take me there. haha.

Anonymous said...

totally got the misuse of 'an' too...and it's brilliantly hilarious. don't retire it...appauled that some of your readers didn't get it!! c'mon guys?!

Helena said...

This is happening at my house?! Well EFF, now I need to vacuum. JK. I'm psyched about Meg's Fall Fun Day and I might not get around to cleaning. Ya'll can deal.

<3

poelondon said...

"It doesn't need to be retired, but people also don't need to be out for blood here." -- James

WHAT?? Commenters on a blog out for blood? Shocking! I've never heard of such a thing! -- poelondon, dripping with sarcasm

The Kuh said...

I am so sorry Team AN left you out in the cold yesterday, Meg. I never had time to comment because I was (looking for a new salon while pretending to be) working. That being said, I use an in that way sometimes as well. And it's a-ok cool. They call that "artistic license".

Fun fact: Last Saturday night, my husband and I watched Sleepy Hollow because we couldn't find Hocus Pocus, but we did not do a drinking game. I guess this weekend I really must find Hocus Pocus to round it all out. Double feature?! God, would we be smashed.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Oh shit, sorry Helena! I assumed it was at your place only because we went there last year. We can do it at my apartment if you don't mind sitting on my bed...with me. All night long. (OH SNAP!) Alex's place is a decent size too. And Andrew's for that matter. Basically I'm the only one out of us who doesn't own a chair. So eff me. I should probably be emailing you this. 'Eh, I'll call you later.

Anonymous said...

Count me in for Team An. I also always got it and appreciated it.

A. Rue said...

I was relieved! That's all, I swear! I will march in favor of your right to "an." Amen.

Also, your fall fun day sounds AMAZING, and now I think I need to organize one of my own. Except the drink of choice will be Washington Apples, because they are my new favorite thing ever.

Bill said...

James's cider idea inspired me. For dramatic effect, I'm going to brew me up a cauldron of that sweet sweet nectar, find me a bootleg copy of Sleepy Hollow, and get totally annihilated. (And by cauldron I mean the leftover jug of cider in my fridge, and the half empty flask of Black Velvet, and to be realistic, I'm gonna use the microwave because I'm lazy and need to get drunk.) It's a recession people.

kthnks for the blog

Anna said...

"...at the hazelton clinic for AN horse tranquilizer addiction" did that really come to light at the rape train in Stut? HA, loves IT.

dont you DARE retire the AN. or "Ann" as i now call her.

Katie said...

I like the use of "an" and since you bold it and all caps and italicize it, I thought it was pretty obvious you were doing it on purpose. I got it. Fuck the haters. I say bring it back, if it's not too soon to say that say it's not reallly gone yet.

http://bitternessblog.wordpress.com/

CheechaB said...

I am a &*#@!$ English teacher, and I not only got and appreciated your intentional abuse of "an," I giggled inside and out each and every time I read it.
Those who complained are clearly lacking some wit in their souls and maybe, just maybe, should be temporarily banned from observing your general bloggery.
I say temporary because I wouldn't want to lessen your audience.
Anywhose, (see, I did it, too - because it's funny) I vote to keep the "an." "An"drew can suck it.

CheechaB said...

"An"d, I'd like to add an apology for not attempting an "an" rescue yesterday. I failed to look at the comments.

Francesca said...

Your comment about cross bow murder fantasies just made me think about when i was in driver's ed a thousand years ago, and they showed us a road rage video about a priest who was on his way home from a hunting trip, got all road ragey, and proceeded to murder a person with the cross bow in his trunk. just thought i'd share. because WHAT?!

Anonymous said...

is spelling "relieved" wrong part of an inside joke too?

Anonymous said...

anyone who gives you a tough time via the interweb are meeks. i kid i kid. Have an issue, need a tissue? I virtually <3 u

Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pointus Cranus said...

It angers me that you actually had to explain your misuse of an. Enrages me, even.

mariposa said...

don't box up 'AN'!!! Been reading for months, always vote, never commented but felt this post necessitated it. keep, keep, keep, please.

Anonymous said...

did you know there is a bed bug epidemic ?!

Nate said...

OK ok ok, I'm going to be the contrarian here, apparently...

The AN thing.

Obvsies it's a joke. But personally, I still can't get behind it (that's what he said). Here's why: It's DISTRACTING...

See, I'll be reading along, thoroughly enjoying myself and thinking of ways to sweep Meg off her feet, when suddenly I'll be hit in the head with an intentionally misplaced AN. And it takes my brain out of the flow and rhythm of whatever is being talked about.

It's like a literary shiny balloon or something... Which is something I think most people with ADD can sympathize with. My brain does this when it happens:

reading reading reading reading reading SHINY BALLOON! reading reading reading reading HEY REMEMBER THAT SHINY BALLOON? reading reading reading...

etc.

Lydia said...

Goooooooo Team AN!! I love it when you use that, it makes me laugh. I also chuckle to myself whenever you call yourself "Meggles" or say "welp!"

I've never commented here before, but I figured now was as good a time as any to start. Lady, you are fab.

James said...

Yes! Nate explains up the original issue with AN. The entire reason anyone said anything was just a "what's up with that?" Now that it's clear it's a 2b1b-inside-joke kind of thing, it's all good. Retirement isn't necessary.

"Heh, there's that shiny balloon, AN. Haha."

Terms to see also: house plant, Evie, son-of-a-butcher, Camelot freelance security.

PS - Nate - how early were you drunk today? :)

PPS - Meg - I'm perfectly calm, Dude... calmer than you are.

Santa Chiara said...

NOOOOOOO!!! I love the "an." I totally do that too and it was my favorite thing ever. I was like "YES! WE ARE SOUL MATES!" And now I am shedding a single tear.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely do NOT retire AN! And that's coming from a former copy editor. Your misuse of an is 100% obvious and I'm surprised the readers of such a witty blog aren't a little more witty themselves...

Anonymous said...

no, meg i'm not hating on "an" at all! actually, it totally works for the purpose of emphasizing and whatnot. i think you should keep it, don't give in!!

Rachel said...

hahahahaha calmer than you are. hahahahahahaha! awesome reference.

I am totally bringing that into my daily conversation. hahahaha.

Now thats a movie we need a drinking game for

Crystal said...

KEEP IT!! I use A (long A sound as in Apple) when I am talking about something singularly. Wanna know why? It's because of a little movie called WAYNE'S WORLD! I quote, almost verbatim, "I don't even have A gun, much less many guns to necessitate a gun rack". Do you love it...I most certainly do!

Rachel said...

PS- I cannot believe this is causing so much blog drama!!! HIGHlarious (another of Meg’s favorites). It’s like LOLZ. "AN" is her lingo...and if you didn’t get the joke you are waaaaaaay to serious. it was ironic and funny and that’s what we love about her.

and to all of you who got fired up about it yesterday, particularly the girl who said she can’t stand when people say, over th ephone say, "this is her," instead of "this is she" um wow. chill. seriously.

Nate said...

James -

Not drunk at all, actually! Just feeling weird and quite unemployed today. But since you mentioned it, I'm about to go to the bar downstairs. I live in the same building as a brewery and it is awesome.

Also, James, major bonus points for The Big Lebowski reference.

And lastly, James, you're in Chicago, right? I JUST moved away from Chicago. To Milwaukee. And I miss it a lot. I last lived in the Bucktown/Wicker Park area. On Western and Dickens, if you know where that is.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Lariland farms IS my childhood.
Not like I think about my hypothetical fake wedding a lot...but it absolutely takes place at Lariland Farms. November first. 20??. Be there.

Anywhose, (see, I did it, too - because it's funny) I vote to keep the "an." "An"drew can suck it.
Andrew sucks nothing! Well...actually I don't know what Andrew sucks and I'd like to keep it that way. Much of my friendship with Andrew is based on him pointing out my stupidity and I wouldn't have it any other way. <3

is spelling "relieved" wrong part of an inside joke too?
No, but your mom's face is.

Oh Nate. Swooooooon!

This entire a/an debate is stressing me out. I have decided NOT to retire it...but NOT to go out of my way to use it. If it happens, it happens. Like bad sex. Or drunk driving. WELP! Have A great weekend! <3

Wiggs (The Beholder) said...

I got the AN joke and I'm a professional writer. So I think you should keep it. I actually read it and thought, "Hm, I wonder if Meg would be pissed if I used that in my book..."

I'm sorry I wasn't reading the comments so I could police those hating mo-fos and tell them to step off.

p.s. another awesome game to play when you're drinking cider and/or brandy is "Microwave Brandy." My friends and I made it up. You take brandy, put it in the microwave for...oh...30 seconds or a minute, then make someone sniff it. It's best when they don't know what you're doing - just turn to them and be like, "Oooooooh, warm brandy smells SO GOOD. Here, sniff this!" Trust me. You have to do it.

James said...

Nate - First, living above a brewery would surely mean my imminent demise. Second, that's awesome! My best friend lived at Sheffield and Fullerton for a while and Wicker Park is awesome (Oh, how I love you, Goose Island). I can't afford it up there so I'm in the south burbs for now, but I'm looking to transfer to UIC to finally finish up school, so we'll see. Lastly, Milwaukee's a nice town! I was *this* close to going to school in Milwaukee, and it's never too far away to drive if you wanna visit home. :D

Kim said...

NOOOOOOO. I LOVE AN! And because I'm smarter than A average reader, I got it!

James said...

Oh! Totally forgot!

RACHEL!!!

The Big Lebowski drinking game is really, really easy. You just take a drink every time someone says the word "Dude" or, if you want to change it up, a variation of "fuck," and you see how long you can make it.

I usually make it till about the musical montage for "Gutterballs" and then have to quit.

Nate said...

Alright, NOW I am drunk. Strangers bought me shots of Jaeger and some disgusting Italian syrupy shit that tasted like death. But the bar has $4 pizza before 4pm, so that's my excuse.

Also, a couple of nights ago I drank whiskey with a 48 year old woman who lives in my building. Because I'm classy.

MARJORIE said...

geeeeeez, you'd think the fact that you capitalized AN would have given everyone a clue that you knew it was wrong but you were using it anyway; and even though it was an inside joke i think some of us figured it out...you love it - you keep on using it!

EasyWayIn said...

Ahh! The real Sleepy Hollow is abuzz tonight with our "world"-famous haunted hay ride. Greetings!

Stephanie said...

Dear Rachel. Hi. I'm Stephanie, also known in your comment as...

"particularly the girl who said she can’t stand when people say, over th ephone say, "this is her," instead of "this is she" um wow. chill. seriously."

... I would point you back to my comment, except I deleted all of them because I want the hell out of this ridiculously heated & overwrought debate. However, since you so specifically targeted me, I feel the need to recap. What I said was that I knew the "AN" was on purpose and a joke, and that I knew the only reason it bugged me was because I was "That Girl" who "twitches" when people make grammar mistakes, like the phone-answering one you used as an example.

I never said I couldn't stand it. I said that I twitched. Is there not a single thing on the planet that makes YOU twitch? I also never said that Meg should stop using "an", I JUST SAID THAT IT MAKES ME TWITCH. What's more, I said it ironically, poking fun at myself for being "That Girl" when it comes to grammar.

I did not need to "chill" before I read your comment, but I definitely need a big fat chill pill now. Mmmk I'm done & thanks for ruining a good 15 minutes of my Friday night with your insult to my intelligence, wit, and sense of irony & humor!!! It was oh so intelligent, ironic, and "chill" of you.

Natalie said...

Why you wanna be startin something? :-)

Comments sections are made for being snarky, so once again - CHILL! Smile!

Marie said...

ditch the "AN". Love the halloween tradition - now I'm going to download sleepy hallows!

Anonymous said...

Do not under any circumstances put AN away for good!! Though I did have to re-read the sentence, once I got it....I laughed!

Sarah P said...

Um. Don't mean to poop on the idiot parade, but your use of "an" was completely obvious. It was a defining part of your blog voice.
I'd miss it, and I'm kind of a bitch about grammar.

Casey said...

I'm TOTALLY team AN!

Anonymous said...

I started reading your blog two days ago and have already pissed my pants 5 times. The first time you used the word "an" in front of a consonant-beginning noun, I completely understood the emphasis, and I've never been to Stuttgart. This is because I'm not a complete fucking retard with no sense of humor. And I'm sad you are retiring it for those
who are.

Danny said...

Hey I'm back from NYC - what'd I miss? Oh shit, more BLAG WARS?!? I'm never leaving DC again.

Rachel said...

and...again....point made.

Heather said...

If the comments scared meg off writing my lunchtime is going to be seriously more boring. :(

Anonymous said...

Heather: EXACTLY what i was thinking. but who could blame her?

poelondon said...

Buck up, young trooper. To quote a wise old sage named Nell Carter, "You take the good, you must take the bad. If you take them both, well, then, there you have the facts of life, oh yeah, the facts of life."

Just remember, for every snarky comment, you get at least a bazillion good ones. Let the rest go the way of Jo's crush on Blair...unrequited and ignored.

Brittan said...

Meg DO NOT retire AN! I totally got it and laughed so hard. Anything to keep your people laughing!

Anonymous said...

I have seen others use "AN" and used it myself on occasion, so I totally get what you were going for and it always makes me chuckle. I can see people not thinking it's funny, fine... but actually thinking you're making that retarded of a grammatical error? Come on dudes.

Santa Chiara said...

Meg, I'm sure you have already seen this because it is awesome and you are awesome, but it reminded me of your Meg's Fall Fun Day.

"It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers!" http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/10/20nissan.html

Anonymous said...

not to nag or anything, but i've been awaitin' nag for your post nag and guess what? i have been forced nag to wallow in my nag boredom…nag.
so please, my dear, pull yo shit together and make me laugh! i do love you, though, thanks to the many months of entertainment you have provided me, so if you're going through somethin tough, i'm sorry :(
still, i want funny!

Hannah said...

I don't know what to do with my life when you don't update.

Stephanie said...

I agree with Hannah. I feel lost and scared :(

Anonymous said...

Just have to say I thought the AN reference was brilliantly used. I was totally picking up what you were putting down and have vowed to bring "AN" into rotation in my own vocabulary. So don't banish it!

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather said...

Son of a Butcher! What did they do?!?! New Rule for Jackasses of the World--don't traumatize Meg. She's funny, she's smart, and eff me, sometimes her blog is the only bright spot in my working day. I write, but I am not as good as she is and certainly not as prolific. Now I am off to be agitated at the world for making Meg run off. F*ck.
(ha-ha; had to delete this and repost due to a grammatical error--oh the irony)

Brian O'Mara-Croft, Lost in the Hive said...

Meg-- Really, who gives AN shit what anyone else thinks?

Cheers,
Brian

Margo said...

Sweet God I hope Meg is ok. I'm afraid. And bored.

Anonymous said...

meg mcblogger, are you alright??
i don't know what to do with myself…

Maria said...

Is it sad I'm upset that I'll be partying in Copenhagen on Halloween rather than watching Sleepy Hollow? it probably is, but it's my favorite Halloween tradition and on the inside I'm actually 45, not 21, so I'm okay with it.

I realised that AN must be a joke, but I'm such a pain in the ass about grammar that it bothered me anyway. :X

JillyB said...

Finally delurking to say I LOLZ heartily when you say "AN." Don't kill it off.

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