It's a damn good thing Halloween season is upon us because I've been a bit of a...oh how do I say this?...an "asshole" around the office recently. And I'm sorry. Except I'm totally not sorry because this summer was the worst summer of all time. It was boring and hot and humid and lame and not full of sex, yet totally full of cockroaches and horrible. I've pretty much been in a terrible mood since Memorial Day. A mood that I have absolutely no qualms about taking out on my co-workers via sassy attitude. Two real world examples from yesterday alone:
Boss #1: Wow thanks for compiling this list of vegan-friendly caterers for me!
Me: Yep.
B#1: This is really thorough! Are you vegan?
Me: No. God just blessed me with the unique ability to type "Vegan/Catering/DC" into The Google.
B#1: [Glares]
Later...
Russell the Co-Worker: It's raining out. My daughter's class was going to take a trip to the National Zoo today.
Me: [Feigning interest] Pretty horrible day to go to the zoo.
RCW: And get this! They drove two hours from Ft. Royal to get here! I checked the weather as we were standing in line and it said it was going to rain all day and they just turned right back around.
Me: Wouldn't the smarter thing to do have been to check the weather before you traveled the two hours from Ft. Royal to DC? [Note: Russell's daughter goes to a school for the mentally handicapped.] That's kind of retar...Unwise.
RCW: [Glares]
But! I'm in a better mood now and I vow to decrease my sassiness with co-workers (and bosses...) by at least 67%. BECAUSE IT'S PRE-HALLOWEEN SEASON! (Shit. Sorry.) Tonight Becca and I are driving to our parent's house (AND YES I DID MAKE A SPOOKTACULAR MIX TO PLAY EN ROUTE!) (God damnit! Sorry again.) where we're going to have McBlogger Family Halloween Night 2009! My mom is making chili and we're going to gather 'round the fire and watch the 1981 film, Wolfen. According to my dad, Wolfen "features a middle aged Albert Finney and Gregory Hines in a non-dancing, afro-wearing role of the hero’s friend. Also appearing, Edward James Olmos playing something I can’t remember. But the real star is … NYC. And don’t forget about all the Indians (native Americans) working high steel. Very mystical and creepy. And tastefully done violence, if you ignore the blood and missing limbs." ...I've pretty much never been so excited for something in my entire life.
If you've had an equally disappointing summer and can't quite get in the mood for Halloween and the Fall, allow me to give you a helping hand. I give you this week's drinking game—The Hocus Pocus Drinking Game!
First and foremost, I would like to warn you that this game is potent. We wrote it a few weeks ago when Alex and I went to NYC to visit Co-Blogger Chris, with the help of our friend Bobby. I was out by the time they sang "I Put a Spell on You." But that might have been the numerous pitchers of Margaritas consumed earlier in the evening talking. Also! I had the biggest a-ha! moment! The guy who plays Ernie, aka "Ice," the bully in the graveyard scene (real name, Larry Bagby III) is the same guy who plays Larry Blaisdell, the closeted homosexual football player on Buffy, who made his first appearance in Buffy episode entitled "Halloween." IT ALL. COMES. FULL. CIRCLE. (...Christ.)
=
!
(PS: In researching those photos, I found this current photo of Larry Bagby III:
Kind of smokin' hawt, am I right or am I right?! Mmk. I'm right. Well. Let's just getsta drinking, shall we?)
Rules
Drink When:
- Sarah Jessica Parker sings
- A spell is cast
- Someone mentions a virgin
- The Black Flame Candle is lit
- "Yabos" are mentioned
- Whenever the witches are tricked by technology
- Binks (in cat or human form) says "Emily"
- Bette Midler speaks french
- Mary smells children
- Max is referred to as "Hollywood"
- A towns person talks about the myth of the Sanders' Sister
- The book's eyes open
- The butterflies fly away, the butterflies fly away, the butterflies fly away! (Specifically out of Billy Butcherson's mouth) (50 points if you just got that Miley Cyrus reference)
- There's a billowy white shirt
- Bette Midler says "SISTAHHHHHS"
- Larry outs himself to Xander (Wait...)
As per always, thank you so much for reading. We survive only on word of mouth, so we can't tell you how much we appreciate you threatening the lives of your friends and family if they don't read on a regular basis. You can also threaten them to follow us on Twitter, join our facebook page, vote for us here, here and here and write us in for Best Blog here. We love you and we'll see you bright and early Monday morning! (Well, I will. Chris will be in Mexico on vacation with his boyfriend having drunken vacation sex. But I'll be here! Single and sober...and in the office...weeping ever-so gently. K, I'm gonna go kill myself now.) Buh-bye!
- Larry outs himself to Xander (Wait...)
As per always, thank you so much for reading. We survive only on word of mouth, so we can't tell you how much we appreciate you threatening the lives of your friends and family if they don't read on a regular basis. You can also threaten them to follow us on Twitter, join our facebook page, vote for us here, here and here and write us in for Best Blog here. We love you and we'll see you bright and early Monday morning! (Well, I will. Chris will be in Mexico on vacation with his boyfriend having drunken vacation sex. But I'll be here! Single and sober...and in the office...weeping ever-so gently. K, I'm gonna go kill myself now.) Buh-bye!
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29 comments:
Hot and he has a mustache. Son there you go.
OH. MUH. GAWD.
"That's kind of retar... Unwise." Had me bust out laughing so loud the neighboring team lead came over and ask what was so funny.
I like cheery Meg. Cheery Meg and Royally Pissed Off Meg are hilarious and awesome. Mopey Meg is not.
Also, maybe it's me, but I will finish my drink when someone says "AMUCK! Amuck-amuck-amuck-amuck-amuck!"
omg, this is the best thing ever. I adore hocus pocus! I do believe I'll be playing this tonight.
This blog just reached a whole other level of awesome with the Hocus Pocus & Buffy connection. I applaud you.
I'm so excited to play this! Ernie actually kind of resembles my former piano teacher, so I can't label him 'hot' without vomiting a little. In my opinion, Binx (aka Sean Murray a la NCIS) is much more attractive now!
Best movie ever.
I think SJP's finest work. . .far better than SATC (OMG I'm going to be struck down by the shoe gods)!!!
Um Meg, you're starting to sound like a MEEK...
Hocus Pocus?! Good one! Remember Ghost Dad??
This excites me. I can't wait to see what you can do with Christmas classics like Home Alone... !
Hot and he has a mustache. Son there you go.
He has a full beard. It's the solo stash I find offensive.
I like cheery Meg. Cheery Meg and Royally Pissed Off Meg are hilarious and awesome. Mopey Meg is not.
Ugh I know, right? It's even worse actullay being Mopey Meg.
Um Meg, you're starting to sound like a MEEK...
You shut your whorish mouth. My love of Buffy his hip and ironic and I vowed to stop being mean to my co-workers. And I'm attractive. And I get regular haircuts.
i love you meg, and knowing you, i know there is no possible comparison to the MEEK. none.
ps- please dont refer to the readers, or meg, or becca as "son." thanks
such hostility!
please forgive this son of a butcher.
I got this far and almost peed myself. "God just blessed me with the unique ability to type "Vegan/Catering/DC" into The Google."
I swear I have said some variation of this at least once a day. My usual is "I swear I am not using some special magical portal that only I have access to in looking up your ridiculously mundane factoid. It is all PUBLICLY available information."
I got this far before I almost peed myself...
"God just blessed me with the unique ability to type "Vegan/Catering/DC" into The Google."
I swear I use a variation of that comment at least once a day. Usually I point out that I only wish I had a monompoly on mysterious magical information portal. But alas, any moron who can use a keyboard is also welcome to it.
Sorry. I double posted. A bit rusty on my commenting.
Dear Meist,
This post made me want to be a part of your family. You dad sounds hilarious. And your mom. And sister. And you too, obvsies.
AND today's DGF made me happy because if there's one thing I have been doing lots more of lately, it's drinking heavily by myself. Hell, I even had a beer at 8am today! See, my computer crashed two days ago and as a result my life has come to a grinding halt in many ways (no more midget porn). I'm writing this from a circa mid-90's laptop with intermittent internet access.
So, what I'm trying to say is Thank You... Cheery Meg was much needed and much appreciated today. And your conversation with Russel-The-Coworker has had me giggling like a school girl all afternoon.
Love,
Dr. Sinners
Rachel: Gosh I love you.
such hostility!
please forgive this son of a butcher.
Oh come now. You can't call me a MEEK and not expect to get some shit from the inner circle! However, for using that "son of a butcher" reference, you are forgiven. <3
Poelondon: No problem, just glad we're over our "unpleasantness."
NATE! I think I found a way to solve BOTH of your problems!
Step 1: We move to Park Slope
Step 2: We get an indoor hot tub
Step 3: We get hitched
Step 4: Someone gets you a new laptop as a wedding gift
Welcome to the McBlogger family and enjoy your new laptop.
THOUGHTS? COMMENTS? CONCERNS?
I plan on shotgunning three drinks when SJP says "'TIS FIRM" about the street.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
...Such an underrated quote. Thank you for that.
HA!
DONE AND DONE!
And this Park Slope/new laptop/marriage plan might beat my brother's unemployed/do nothing/marry-an-illegal-Mexican plan he executed a few years ago.
WE WIN! WE WIN AT LIFE, MEG.
I played a slightly different version of this a couple weeks ago, and I was very far gone. Especially with that virgin one...
But I like yours better.
-tubular!
omg. i lovvvve hocus pocus. it was in my vcr for years back in the day. what a perfect drinking game! :)
how are you not writing for 30 rock?
Still waiting for my break. Sigh...
We're only thirty four minutes into the movie. I'm pretty drunk. Its Sunday night. Goddammit.
Hey Meg,
any chance you can give a 3-4 day heads up for the movie choice of DGF? I ask cause this one I would have love to have done friday had I had the movie. *sigh* But the beauty of netflix...blah blah blah.
any chance? :)
"Poelondon: No problem, just glad we're over our "unpleasantness.""
If it makes everyone feel better, I'm going for my first mammogram today! Woo-hoo! Letting some unknown techinician with cold hands feel me up! That's right -- I'm that lonely!! Go to town, one and all.
My Friends and I played this game last night (yes drinking game friday on a tuesday was great) we had to stop playing before we got half way through the movie because we had already drank so much. I can't imagine being able to function after finishing the whole game!
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