Welp, I've got big news. In a little under 8 weeks, I will be leaving New York City for greener, more governmental pastures. Where the skyline is restricted by security concerns and the taxis don't accept credit cards. Yours truly is leaving the Big Apple for the greater DC area. Ok, to be specific, I'm moving to Arlington, VA, but I'll be just a few short metro stops from Meg, which is really what I'm most concerned about. This is all very exciting/terrifying for a variety of reasons. But the overarching reason as to why I'm peeing my pants on a nightly basis is that I need to pack up from my secure, albeit irritating job, and head out into the hurricane that we know as a job market.
This does not bode well for me. As I've recently undergone a quarter-life crisis and have no idea what I want to do with my life, I don't even know the first place to start to look for a job. And the last thing I want to think about are cover letters. But first and foremost, I should probably update my resume. So let's see. Haven't looked at that gem since 2007. What marketable skills have I learned in the past two point five years at my job? Well let me think about how exactly I've spent those last two and half years.
I would be willing to venture I've spent at least two of the last 2.5 years on gmail (the remaining half a year is the time I'm not on my work computer). Do you blame me? When I have a deadline looming and my desk is piling up with papers, I can't possibly focus on work until I know what every single person that appears on my chat list has done over the weekend. That has to get done before everything else. I need to know when one of my friends stays in to watch a Weekend at Bernie's marathon. Oh don't worry, I'll get to that progress report, but first, I've got to hear about this weirdo guy my friend met at a bar who literally said they had "a cosmic connection". Psycho, am I right?! Sure, there's usually a weekly pang of regret that I spend so much time on gchat and I think "Man, I should probably do some real work and ditch this distraction." But then I get a frantic chat from Meg regarding the note Betty White left for Rue McClanahan after her stroke ("I hope you die, so I can be the last Golden Girl." Priceless.). Thanks to gchat and gmail, I'm able to stay in touch with infinitely more people that I would have completely forgotten about. So I guess that I can say I've:
- Maintained exceptional interpersonal communication skills
- Improved organizational skills
- Self-motivated to complete tasks of all priority levels
- Conducted interoffice relations in a professional and efficient manner
- Observed company policies regarding dress code
- Perfected ability to work on various projects simultaneously
- Managed time at work wisely
That being said, anyone have a job they want to hire me for?