DOUBLE EDIT: Well, now it's popular opinion that that wasn't Time at but someone fucking with me. I know I should be pissed and/or embarrassed, but mostly I'm just exciting because the last time an A-fuck got sassy with me in a competitive blogging environment, it propelled me to victory—cough, Suzy Soro, cough—so I say bring it on. The 2b1b army scares the shit out of me and it now has my blessing to tweet it's face off. On a side note, I got an elaborate voicemail from Alex tonight pretending to be "Time magazine" calling to see if I wanted to drop my towel, pop open a bottle of paragraph and hop into a bath with it. He then proceeded to make a series of orgasm noises riddled with the word "paragraph" for an impressive amount of time...WIN.

Uh, so Time left us this comment on today's other post:

I like paragraphs. You don't. Please stop your people Tweeting me about your blog and invest in some paragraphs. That is all.

I'm so confused. Today has been like a bad acid trip. Moral of the story is they're pissed and we have to go the paragraph store and invest in paragraphs. So stop tweeting them? I don't know. I'm gonna go drive to Vegas in The Red Shark now. Thank you for supporting us though!


Hi lovelies. If you have
Twitter, please tweet @2birds1blog to @TIME so we can make their list of top 25 online blogs! Hmmm...I've written that sentence 9,000 times and it still feels confusing. Your tweet should look like this:

YourTwitterName @2birds1blog @TIME

ELOQUENT. I am. Fuck.

If you don't have Twitter, you should totally take the .8 seconds to create an account, tweet that shit and pretend like it never happened.

Just cut and copy the "@2birds1blog @TIME" part, put it in your type-y box in Twitter and hit post. DONE! Ask your friends!

We would seriously appreciate it so much!

Love you guys,


Laurie said...

Even with the explicit instructions, that was my first tweet ever, so I hope I did it right! :)

BMac said...

Done! Just for you, Meg! Passed the message along to my friends...

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

BLESS ALL OF YOUR HEARTS!!!! 4 seriouses.

sarah said...


Dave Stroup said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I don't think it matters which one comes first, TIME will still get it if it has @TIME in it.

Unknown said...

twitter is down. obviously we rabid fans have crashed their servers. is that GOOD ENOUGH for you Time?

. said...

Joined Twitter just for you. Now let's forget it ever happened because I LOATHE twitter. kthanks.

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

twitter is down. obviously we rabid fans have crashed their servers. is that GOOD ENOUGH for you Time?
Oh good job guys...

And Dave you just gave me a small heart attack, but after some research I'm pretty sure they'll get it either way. I'll be in GW's cardiac wing if you need me.

Kelly Aline said...

Done, and your tweet retweeted...

Jessica said...

I really want to keep tweeting them.

Elliot Smilowitz said...

Time Magazine more like Time Vagazine

Stephanie said...

is it possible to punch someone in the face via twitter? because if so i would totally punch time magazine repeatedly for that comment. that was totally from the poor pissy intern who has to monitor their twitter account

Unknown said...

Okay, I looked at the TIME comment, and you can't know for sure that is them. Unless you got that via Twitter, I wouldn't believe it.

Sounds like you got trolled.

Unknown said...

The again, maybe your Twitter competition left that comment to stop you! Foul play! You should tweet Time about this.

Unknown said...

I bet the TIME comment was actually from Adam Lupsha's girlfriend. She's pissed already.

Lindsey Sloane said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

ahahahahahah JENNA that was hilarious.

love the blog, keep it up!

Teen Liberal Atheist said...

Russel the homophobic co-worker updates? No?

Elizabeth said...

Wow, Time. Talk about some misplaced aggression. I can't believe some disgruntled employee took the time to leave a bitchy comment, especially in response to something they asked people to do.

It's probably a 25 year old intern who hates his or her job as Time's Twitter Bitch and Chief Copy Machine Operator ("If I work really hard, one day I'll get to retrieve coffee for the real journalists! AND MAYBE EVEN GET TO GO TO MEETINGS!") and dreams of having a comedy blog to write about it, but alas, that would require a sense of humor. And I don't think you can buy one of those, no matter whose Twitter account you run.

Slightly unrelated, but how the hell do I go about finding gainful employment as an official Twitter Bitch? Because that sounds like it's loads more fun than being a lawyer, and I'm pretty sure I could do it without being reduced to leaving dickbag comments on someone's website, IN RESPONSE TO SOMETHING I ASKED READERS TO DO ON THE TWITTER I MANAGE.

Sorry for the excessively long and mildly angry comment. I had a bad day, and it's manifesting itself as a fiery defense of my favorite blogger. Maybe I'll go drink a few glasses of wine and misplace my own aggression by drunkenly tweeting @Time. Stay tuned.

P.S. Time, look at all those paragraphs I just used!
P.P.S. You're awesome. In the wise words of my mother, "Don't let the bastards get you down."

Elizabeth said...

Ooooohhh I just saw the comment suggesting that it might be your competition lurking around leaving deceiving comments... How scandalous. The plot thickens in the internet soap opera. This slightly derails my plan of drunkenly tweeting @Time in your defense tonight. Regardless, the offer still stands. Just let me know who I'm supposed to harass.

Dave Stroup said...

you're right I think it would show up when they search for TIME. I'm thinking about how at replies like that wouldn't show up in their stream, unless they followed you. my bad! sorry for the confusion!!!!

Unknown said...

two words: suzy soro

jen toppe said...

paragraphs?!? i dont even understand that insult! your anonymous readers never cease to amaze me.

me said...

I am going to go out on a limb with a little theory I've been spinning. I don't think the evil and uncalled for Paragraph Incident of 2010 had anything to do with the format people were tweeting about 2b1b to Time.

I think it was in reference to Monday's post that was a recounting of Eddie's one-word-at-a-time hysteria in regard to your future husband, Adam Lupsha.

And I ain't a hater tryin' to hate. Just a down home 2b1b lover who already tweeted your glory to Time and wants to clear up any confusion and create, um, such as, peace on earth.

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