Let's play a little game called, "How Well Do You Know Meg McBlogger?!"
Question 1: What do I love more than tacky animated gifs?
Answer? President's Day.
Question 2: Who is my favorite president?
Answer? 14th President of the United States, Franklin Pierce.
Question 3: Why is he my favorite president?
Answer? He had a faux hawk and a sword:
Question 4: Anyone with a faux hawk and a sword can __________?
Answer? Put it in me.
Question 5: By "it," what do I mean?
Answer? Not his sword.
Question 6: How did I spend my Valentine's Day?
Answer? Overeating take-out from The Cheesecake Factory, snuggling with the old Facebook ball and chain a.k.a. Talia, and watching The Time Traveler's Wife.
Question 7: What activity would have yielded the same result as watching that movie?
Answer? Beating myself in the heart with barbed wire.
Question 8: That being said, Eric Bana + sword ÷ faux hawk = what?
Answer? Lady Boner.
Question 9: Do I have today off of work?
Answer? Ummm...that's unclear at this point.
Question 10: Should I clear that up?
Answer? No, not necessarily.
Question 11: Why not?
Answer? Because clearing that up could result in me concretely knowing I have to go to work.
Question 12: Which would cockblock what activity that I'll be doing today?
Answer? Wedding dress shopping with Becca.
Question 13: For my wedding, or hers?
Answer? Uh, hi. Hers. The most meaningful relationship I have right now with someone from the opposite sex is with Bob Costas and his tantalizing sports announcing skills.
Question 14: That's sad.
Answer? I know.
Question 15: Do you think they'll have champagne at the bridal appointments?
Answer? I certainly hope so.
Question 16: What time do I have to be at Chevy Chase Bridal this morning?
Question 17: Are those "my hours?"
Question 18: Did my sister send me a text message specifically asking me not to be late?
Question 19: Did I find that text message patronizing?
Question 20: Do I blame her for sending it?
Question 21: What is my apartment like right now?
Answer? Freezing cold.
Question 22: How would I normally resolve this problem?
Answer? By calling Alex and whining until he either comes over and turns on the heat for me OR verbally amps me up like a hype man until I get up and do it myself.
Question 23: Why can't I do that right now?
Answer? Because he's in Mexico.
Question 24: With or without me?
Question 25: Which makes him _____.
Question 26: Given that uncalled for last answer, I'm clearly just ______.
Question 27: What did Alex do President's Day before last?
Answer? He came to visit me in Brooklyn and got a vicious case of food poisoning when I got us lost in Sunset Park and hired a town car to take us to the nearest Burger King.
Question 28: When he finally started to feel a little better on Sunday, what did he order when Co-Blogger Chris and I took him out to lunch?
Answer? Ahi Tuna.
Question 29: What kind of a decision was that?
Answer? A unique one.
Question 30: More unique than hiring a town car to whisk you out of the ghetto and to the nearest Burger King?
Answer? I'd say so.
Question 31: So in summary, what does President's Day always make me think of?
Answer? Swords, faux hawks, hamburgers and Alex writhing around a futon in his boxers.
Question 32: Which makes it what?
Answer? The BEST. HOLIDAY. EVER.