2.26.2010

The Morning After. (& a Giveaway!)

Woooooooooo...I am hungover. Thank you to Alex, Scott, Carla, Jenna, Dan, Andrew of The Great Juno Debate Fame, Andrew not of The Jundo Debate Fame, Teresa, Laura and Lara who took me out and last night and stuffed me with various fried foods and alcohol until I couldn't see straight. You are all lambs. Lambs I would grill, shove in a pita, douse in tahini and eat up. What? I don't know. I might still be drunk. I want Amsterdam Fallafel. I also appreciate that when the check came and I reached for my wallet, everyone did the old oh put that away! as if it were my birthday and not because I had just gotten fired for a reason I think we all saw coming down the pike. Oh, you guys...

And speaking of losing my job! To answer the most frequently asked question from yesterday's post, I have absolutely no idea how ex-Boss #1 and ex-Boss #2 found the blog. None. The curiosity will drive us all to drink. (Too late.) I thought about asking when I saw that Boss #2 had an entire Encyclopedia's worth of printed blog posts tucked under her wing, but decided that might be too ballsy. Even for me. Mostly I just wanted to ask her to take the damn thing to Kinkos, bind it, slap some cover stock on it and bada-bing-bada-boom—book deal. AND THNXXXXX!

So, here we are. The day after THE DAY. I woke up at 8 this morning to write a post, felt like someone wearing brass knuckles was repeatedly punching me in the forehead and immediately went back to sleep. Now I'm lounging around my bed wearing nautical themed booty shorts watching a very poignant gun-control episode of 7th Heaven. It's not bad, you guys. It's not bad at all. I gotta say. Give me booty shorts and A. Simps or you give me death.

Now I hate to ask you guys a favor when you've all been so unbelievably kind and supportive...but I indeed totes have a favor to ask. Would you do me a solid and go here, scroll down to the third category of "People and Places", click "34 more," write in 2birds1blog for Best Local Blog/Blogger and submit it? That's it! That's all you have to do! You totally don't have to sign up for anything or vote for any other categories (unless you want to, of course.) Maybe get your friends and family to do it too? I'd appreciate it immensely.

In return, I will totally tell you something embarrassing. (Yes, embarrassing stories are my currency at this point. Things are touch-and-go.) So I woke up the other day and was about to hop in the shower when I looked in the mirror and noticed that I have these huge black and blue bruises alllllll over my upper-right thigh slash groinal region. To be frank, it looks like I had some straight up All-American rough-ass sex. (Not to be confused with rough COMMA, ass sex.) It looks like someone banged me out six ways to the weekend. Which would be exciting except I haven't had sex since the Nagano Olympics. (Which would put me in 8th grade, I think? Hm. Too early in the afternoon for statutory jokes?) Truth be told, the sex bruises are from carrying a shit ton of bags home from Trader Joe's and having a giant bottle of Pelligrino repeatedly bang into my crotch with each step I took. So what I'm trying to say is the closest thing I've had to awesome sex in a moth(s) of Sundays was with a Pelligrino bottle in the street. So. There's that.

...Meh, that wasn't that good of a story. Guess it's time to start throwing free shit at you, huh?? To thank you for being so amazingly supportive, we're doing a giveaway with our friends at jägerstore.com! And speaking of jägerstore, if you're only going to visit one alcohol based internet boutique this weekend, why not make it the jägerstore? (And no FCC, Jäger is not paying me to say that...yet.) Just leave a comment on today's post before midnight saying that you voted 2b1b for City Paper's Best of D.C. 2010 and you could win a totally badass Jager Cooler SLASH Shot Dispenser! [Edit: As of 11:45am on Saturday, February 27th, dis shit be closed. You can still vote and leave a comment, you just won't get any free shit out of it. Don't worry, there are more giveaways where this came from!]

And as much as I just love anonymous comments, you're going to have to use some sort of name so I can identify the winner tomorrow morning. Sound good? Awesome.

And speaking of alcohol—T.G.I. Hagman baby! A holiday needed now more than ever.


As of 1:09pm on February 26, 2010, Larry Hagman is............alive! And thank god for that. I don't know how I'd handle it if I got fired and Hagman got Fired with a capital F in the same week. My guess is with a lot of alcohol and cheese fries.

Alright, I think I'm too hungover to think of a drinking game this week. I hate when that happens. Make sure to vote for us and leave a comment before midnight! Thank you all so much again for your support and love! We love you right back and we're not going anywhere. Well, I'm probably going to put on a shirt, attempt to wipe the eye makeup off my face and venture out to get some coffee. But overall, I'm not going anywhere. Have a great weekend and thanks again for being so amazing. Kisses!



196 comments:

Jenn- wizard of words, queen of the universe and all around great time! said...

vote submitted!!! woot woot!

James said...

Voted. Twice.

If your cooter is bothering you, I'd recommend chilling a nice, big bottle of Pelligrino and just holding it between your legs. It'll help the bruising and you can hump people (read: anyone that enters your apt) and it will be hilarious.

Megan said...

Totally voted. From work and normal email.

Ashley said...

Vote down! It's nice to see that you AND Hagman are both doing well this fine Friday.

Grant said...

Can I just say that I'm really jealous of you? You get to be on unemployment. I really want to be on unemployment.

Is that insensitive? I'm going to post it anyway.

Kim said...

Voted :) Also my roommate told me this: we need a cooler to add to our jager collection of stolen paraphenalia. Thanks for the blogging!

emily said...

voted! and did you know you can create a button to add the blog so people can vote that way? at least that's what they tell me here
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/bestofpoll/nominees/

Rosalyn said...

Just voted for best local blog & fingers crossed for you to win "Best Local Crafter" ('Meghan McBlogger') and "Best Local Scandal" ('Meghan McBlogger getting fired') as well. Figured I wouldn't rat you out for "Best Place to Smoke Weed," though.

Rachel N. said...

voted! of course I did.

Amanda said...

Voted!

Also, can I borrow your parents sometime...because they sound amazing!

kelly said...

voted!

smoody said...

Voted!

The D said...

Done and done. And if I win, I'm willing to auction it off at the next 2b1b party to help pay for the following 2b1b party (there, now we're committed to two parties! We'll call the second one a "Welcome to DC, Chris" party).

Kate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kate said...

I voted for you :)
hope you are enjoying your day in hungover heaven

A. Rue said...

Voted!

Let us know when/if you decide to look for jobs. I'd be willing to bet this army can charm you into a ridiculous array of positions.

Happy hangover!

Becky said...

Voted!

Brian said...

You know I voted!

Tine said...

I voted! Good luck with that hangover. :D

Talia said...

when I got laid off you got me incredibly drunk.. once your hangover has calmed down i will get you incredibly drunk, again.

I voted, made it my fb status, got a tattoo of it, carved the link in apples, and made up 13 email addresses to vote.

love you, kai bii

Hassenblog said...

I totally just voted 2b1b for City Paper's Best of D.C.!! DONESIESSSS!

erin said...

Always a reader, never a commenter, however I love free shit....

and voting for 2b1b (duh)

Melanie said...

Totes just voted for you and tweeted my friends to do the same! Enjoy your day off!

LP said...

Voted from all my junk emails just for 2b1b, as long as you keep updating us on the fabulously awkward life that is Meg McBlogger.

Erin said...

voted!

so new life plan: when chris gets to dc have him move in with you and make him be your sugar daddy!

Lisa said...

voted!

I wish I was where you are today (i.e. hung over in booty shorts and not working).

Enjoy the promised land for all of us.

matt.bufford said...

Voted! Also, I'd totes buy a 2b1b book, if nothing more to help stick it to those bitches formerly known as Boss #'s 1 and 2

Daniel said...

Vote submitted!

Matt said...

Definitely voted and finally broke down and joined twitter just so I could follow 2birds1blog.

Jenna said...

Voted!

fenioxtides said...

Totally voted!

Amanda said...

Voted 2b1b for City Paper's Best of D.C. 2010!!!!

Daniel said...

Voted for the best blog I know, besides my own. I kid, yours is totally better....

Santa Chiara said...

Meg, don't lie. You know you were doing a Dr-Reuben-style carbonated douche with that Pellegrino and it just went horribly awry.

Hails said...

Of course I voted for 2birds1blog. I don't have a job, what else am I going to do?!
I plan on doing my drinking tonight. I'll pour one out for you.

Trent said...

Voted! Hope your rough sex bruises don't affect your chances this weekend.

Julia said...

voted! (of course!)

Charlie said...

I voted!

Mary said...

Voted! Meggles - You. Are. My. Hero.

Amanda said...

Love your blog in Cali! Voted and good luck!

Tina said...

Voted and voted and voted.

Me and my friends are toasting to you tonight!

Megan said...

I voted! And I'm a huge 2birds1blog fan, and I'm totally gushing. And I don't care who knows it.

Genesis said...

do you think they were monitoring your work computer and so thats how they found out...

K said...

Voted. Twice. God, I want that cooler/shot pourer/party starter.

Chrissie said...

I voted! Now that you're funemployed, can you do more recaps of awesome television shows? I haven't seen any commercials for shows worthy of More to Love and Jersey Shore-type recaps, but summer is coming, I'm sure more bad TV will grace our lives soon.

Correy said...

i voted!

Lauren G said...

Voted!

LG said...

Voted!

AJ said...

I SO VOTED!!!!!! I got all of my friends addicted to your blog. Hopefully they don't beat me out for that sweet ass cooler, otherwise, I'm gonna have to break into their house and steal it. It deserves to be with its rightful alcoholic owner.

Brynn said...

Voted! Thank you for making my afternoons so much better!!

Jules said...

Voted! To quote someone whose blog I read on a daily basis: "Annnnd you're welcome."

Cupcake said...

Voted - all the way from Canada. It was an effort, but you're worth it.

Laura said...

and done. thank god about larry hagman.

Andrew F said...

I voted while I took my laptop into the can and set it on my sink. Huge release.

While listening to WuTang Clan.

Tiffany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tiffany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tiffany said...

Voted! Contemplating joining twitter so I can follow 2B1B more closely. Creepy? Maybe. True? Yes!

Christopher said...

You got my precious vote! Now high tail it out of DC and take LA by storm!

Sarah P said...

Also vote for 2b1b in best local scandal!

2birds1blog blogger fired for blog.

Lindsay said...

vote submitted! glad to hear you're alive after last night.

Kori said...

Voted way before you even asked! If I win the cooler thingy I plan on covering it in 2B1B stickers fo'sho.

And for my own plug, please vote Balance Gym as best gym and Jim Bathurst (a reader by proxy because I read him every blog) for best personal trainer :-) Pretty Please!

Emily M. said...

Voted!

I think in the mean time you could try your luck with these amazing buttons- I would definitely buy one

http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_mr_narwhal_button-145676201049042812

sam said...

1. i voted from multiple email addresses, including a little hotmail diddy from circa 9th grade that may or may not have x's surrounding the name
2. you make my life

i WILL be drinking to your fabulousness tonight. enjoy freedom!

B said...

Voted! Loves it!

Laura N said...

I voted twice!

Jill said...

voted!

Kaitlyn said...

VOTED!

Shannon C said...

Of course I voted for you... Have a Happy Hangover day!!!!!1

Catie said...

Of COURSE I voted!

cvillebackpacker said...

Done and Done.

Jenna said...

I voted. Woop. Now I vote you take that Pelligrino bottle to Ex-Boss #1. ooohhhh.....

Kristina said...

Voted! I think we would do anything you told us to...

Pendleton said...

VOTED!!!!

Courtney said...

I voted!

Evan said...

Voted!

Jaclyn said...

Voted! and put up as fb status too.

Wiggs (The Beholder) said...

Of course I voted, but more importantly, welcome to your new awesome life. My husband and I were up late last night discussing your situation and while apparently it's illegal for someone without a license to dispense legal advice, I WILL say that you don't have a thing to worry about.

You know the best thing about not having to go to work? Daytime television. I'm telling you. Days of our Lives has me wrapped around its little finger. And don't even get me STARTED on Kathy Lee and Hoda Kotb.

MARJORIE said...

voted for you and passed the link along to others...fingers crossed for all good things for you.

Abby said...

Voted!

twts said...

OH SNAPeroni and Cheese! Love you!

Kate said...

oh heck yeah i submitted a vote for your blog. i love it.

Angie S said...

Oh you know I tots "voted voted 2b1b for City Paper's Best of D.C. 2010"...using all 4 of my various e-mail addresses.

2birds1blog community, taking the world by storm, one online voting contest at a time.

B said...

Voted! And I'm poor/alcoholic college student that could really use a Jager shot dispenser!

Stef said...

I voted! I have been pimping you out to my friends for weeks, so hopefully they get the hint and become fans as well!

Completely unrelated, I've started using biffles in everyday convo. I thank you.

Danielle said...

I voted! Good luck McBlogger! P.S. my fingers are crossed for the giveaway. Who doesn't need a jager shot dispensing cooler?!

KellyAOsborne said...

-Done & Done! And now I shall email you about something else! expect email soon :)

misstaylorlong said...

I voted AND posted that shit on my facebook status. Holla!!

Courtney said...

TGI Hagman. Is there a Dallas drinking game in the works?


and I voted!

Abbie said...

I voted. And after seeing that everyone else voted more than once, I don't want to be left behind, so I'll be sure my boyfriend votes too. I was also thinking, if you start running short on money you should set up a "Help the Meghan McBlogger" fund via paypal. And we'll all give you a dollar or something, and you can feel good about whoring yourself out to strangers! But not like that's new...

eclare said...

VOTED!

Kerri D. said...

Voted - if you don't win, I will skin a kitten.

Keep blogging!

Rachel said...

Voted!

I would have voted anyways, but that dispenser was a nice bribe. We used to bring all the fixins' for Jagerbombs to our rugby matches and do shots at half-time. That would make the old girls game much more efficient.

Now that you are off the wagon, let's switch the tea to booze.

Shannon said...

Vote submitted!

Travis said...

I VOTED!!! I'm excited for you, and when you get the book deal, just think your boss has the first rough copy!

~Travis

Susan said...

voted (and before i even saw the giveaway)!

Andrew said...

voted!!!!! because well you are completely hilarious!

~Jamie said...

I voted.

Also, something to think about--those bitches that fired you will FOREVER come to read this blog just to find out what you're saying about them. You will live in their mind as long as you blog... and that's awesome.

Kerri said...

My vote is in for you Meg. Maybe if Boss #1 and Boss #2 are still following the blog they'll be inspired to vote too and we can put this little misunderstanding all behind us?

Andy said...

Voted! done and done

Gainfully Unemployed said...

Voted!
Just found this blog - and I've never laughed so hard at my computer. Good thing my own "Boss-Lady" is out of the office.

Lisa said...

Funny story, last time you asked us to vote i voted 4 times from all 4 unnecessary email addresses that I have so this morning I got 4 different emails asking me to vote again.

In summary, I love you so much that I voted for you 4 times today

Kelly Aline said...

Done ma'am.

Julia said...

I voted!

Fixedgearrider said...

voted!

girl said...

left a comment, once i realized that i actually had to click on 34 more. how i missed it, i don't know. i'm smart enough to have eventually figured it out and voted.

Srav said...

Voted! 2b1b FTW!

Juan Don said...

Of course I voted. I don't really want the Jager thingy, though. I just wanted you to know that you've got my support!

klt10415 said...

Voted!

sam said...

Voted, pestered my friends to vote!

Valerie said...

I voooootedddd!!

Kelsey said...

voted!!

and SO thankful you will continue blogging.

Kate2 said...

I voted. Good luck!

Bryn said...

Voted...and whoa there's another Bryn that voted but she (I'm guessing a she) spells with two Ns.

Kelly said...

totes magotes voted.

Cassidy said...

Vote!! I love you Meg! You can come visit Birmingham in all of your spare time now! We can show you the civil right institution, vulcan, rednecks, and the zoo!

Lisa S said...

Boom. Voted. Times 4

Erin said...

It's so awkward to know that your former Bosses are now blog stalking. Ew.

I wonder when (if?) they will stop reading?

Kristen said...

voted! from all 3 emails I currently have under my command!

R. Walls said...

My vote is in. If you ever find your way to Kentucky there is a Jager Bomb waiting for you. /Wink-and-the-Gun

Ushma said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Courtney said...

I voted I voted!! You are the best! Pick meee!!!

Julie said...

Voted! I currently live at my grandparent's house (no, they are not also living with me) with a roomie and the perfect addition to the antiques and floral 70s wallpaper would be jager cooler/dispenser! Just saying...

Mary Margaret said...

I voted!!!

Amy said...

I voted- holler! Please enter me even though I said holler.

Amy said...

And I voted with my work email too. Because I have a work email. Too soon?

reanerbean said...

I voted! Thanks for keeping me entertained.

manikarn said...

Voted! Don't know about the shot dispenser but would totally kill for the chance to make Boss#1 and Boss#2 the bridesmaids while I sign the dotted lines with you! Keep rocking!

Caitlin said...

Done and done! homeslice, you've totally got my vote.

'kay love ya, bye!

Grace Burberry-Martin said...

I voted Meg! You're awesome!!

Going Without A Lot Of Things These Days said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rebecca e. said...

another vote for you!

Lauren said...

Done and done! Voted twice.

Jessica Ellis said...

I voted 2b1b for City Paper's Best of D.C. 2010.

Yeah, I copied/pasted that.

OH! And I did have another question from yesterdays post. Did Boss #1 refer to herself in the third person?! When you said she said, "Boss#1 is NOT happy." Did she say her own name? If so, that is amazing and hilarious.

Taylor said...

Voted twice!

Amy said...

I voted!
- Amy Wike

Anna Mac said...

Totally voted!

Well done on the whole getting sacked thing. Pretty liberating, right??

Anna

Casey said...

i voted!

you've got this. the army has spoken.

Elizabeth said...

I voted! Enjoy the honeymoon that is being newly fired...yay ice cream, alcohol, and sleeping in :)

Amanda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy said...

Voted! I'm one of the many addicted to your blog thanks to AJ. You have a little cult of fans down here in Arkansas!

Amanda said...

Voted!!!!

If I win this jaeger cooler/dispenser i will be the coolest girl this side of the mississippi.

Abra said...

I blog-stalk the hell out of you and never comment but I'll be damned if I miss a chance at a free Jager coolerSLASHshotdispenser. Quite possibly the best slashie invention ever. Well except for the razorSLASHvibrator, obviously.

Alicia! said...

I voted and got others to as well, but then I bullied them into not commenting so that I'd have a better chance of winning. friendship vs. alcohol themed products...it's a thin line.

Sabri said...

Voted! Me loves me a good cooler full o'booze.

Caroline said...

First things first: I voted for you! (And maybe for my favorite bartenders, but that's a separate issue.)

Secondly: I get bruises like that all the time! All. The. Time. Upper thigh, lower abdomen, all kinds of scary shades. I know with every fiber of my being that they aren't sex-related, but I haven't pin-pointed any other cause. At least you discovered the culprit!

Vo said...

Voted thrice.

Dana said...

Vote entered =) You definitely deserve to win!

me said...

Voted =) Good luck, Meg!

Stephanie said...

I voted! Good luck!

Donniell said...

voted!

and mental high-five for the booty shorts. rocking them myself in morocco. or should i say, moroccan them myself... no. no i shouldn't say that.

- donniell

Kyle Simmons said...

voted because you are the only other person I know that should be sponsored by Jager and yesterday I had the worst hangover of my life as well.

Mike said...

Ballot Submitted
Thanks for voting in Washington City Paper's 2010 Readers' Poll!

submitted! go me!

LBoogie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LBoogie said...

I voted!
Lauren

Mike said...

So that whole "I'm giving the liver a break" thing isn't working out too well eh? eh? hahaha

Tocolets said...

Voted! Not for the totally badass Jager Cooler SLASH Shot Dispenser but because I truly and honestly believe that you're the BEST BLOGGER I follow! More power to you!!!!!1

P.S: Should I win the totally badass Jager Cooler SLASH Shot Dispenser, you should know that it will be much appreciated,loved and cared for!

Kthigg said...

Obviously voted! So glad when I got to the end of todays post and saw Hagman was still alive. Not gonna lie I had a bad feeling about him after yesterdays events.

Allison said...

voooooted :) three emails: personal work AND school. booyah

Amanda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kimmy In The City said...

respectively voted! cheers!

Amanda said...

voted for you, dear! ...and i'm sorry you got fired. <3
-MandaSAWR

Courtio said...

voted! viva 2birds1blog.

Brittney Mac said...

I voted 2b1b for City Paper's Best of D.C. 2010.
I even did it before I knew there was a chance I could get free shit out of it-- does that give me any brownie points? ;)

Ohmygoshi said...

VOTED. I'm so looking forward to the continuing adventures of Meg Mcblogger!

Morgan said...

Voted!!!!!!!!!! I <3 you!

Shep said...

voted! bada-BING

Jane Lane said...

I voted 2b1b for City Paper's Best of D.C. 2010!!! I also wish you wonderful sex in your time of unemployment. Think about it - you have a whole new pool of guys to choose from now: the ones who you usually wouldn't be able to meet while you were working 9-5! They may be unemployed too, but that doesn't mean they're not a great lay!

Emily said...

Me! I voted!

Linda said...

Voted!
And no joke, my iTunes was on shuffle and just came on with Eartha Kitt's "I Want To Be Evil", which reminded me of a blog of yours I read before, which reminded me to go to your site today. Ah, universe...

StephyP said...

voted! hope you win =) reading your blog is one of the best parts of my day, i love it like a fat kid loves cake

Erin said...

Voted!

And let me tell you, as someone who gets lets go pretty regularly, I always tend to find a better job.

Mourn the loss, drink away your sorrows, have a pity party, then pull yourself together and find something that makes you happy and pays.

Good luck!

pook555 said...

I voted!! And glad that Larry Hagman is still alive!! Since reading some of your older posts, I can't have a bagel and cream cheese without bursting out laughing hysterically thinking of good ol' Russell. Plus I can't believe that the bosses #1 and #2 actually printed out the old blogs?? Meh, on to bigger and better things for you!

Rachel said...

voted!

Emily B said...

I totes voted. =-)

Brittany_DCtoCO said...

I voted!! Good luck!

Candace H said...

I voted!

Plus, I sent you that really awesome link last week...think "and a very talented boyfriend with a headlamp" so I should get something for that, right? ...Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that. :)

Sandi said...

I voted. And I also San Pellegrino fucked Boss #1 and Boss #2.
Long live 2b1b.

Vivienne said...

Voted!

...and Santa Chiara took the words right out of my mouth.

Dan said...

You got my vote! I'll miss the work stories, but I'm sure wherever you end up next will be just as fun to hear about! A whole new cast of characters (like you're getting a spin-off or something!)

Best of luck.

Dan

claire c! said...

i voted! :)

Nicole said...

I voted! What WHAT!

Laurie said...

I voted! Saw it earlier this evening on your twitter and voted right away. Think I'll got vote again though with another one of my many email addresses!

Jennifer said...

Meggles....I am hiding in the bathroom on my phone voting for you cuz it's almost midnight Texas time and I am still working! (at a bar!) I hope we win! Thank you for making me life not suck. If my managers catch me in here and can me, i'll let ya know and you can hire me as your Texas promoter when you get sponsored and do a book tour! Much love! -Jen

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
CAN said...

I voted! Good luck!!

Maile said...

Voted! When's the next Jagerball?

queenmargot said...

Voted! How could you not win with all these awesome people voting?

meg said...

I voted last time and I'm voting this time! Best blog EVER.

maggie said...

mmk, it looks like i'm the first person to comment AFTER any chance of winning free shit. and you know what? i'm okay with that, just showin my dedication to the 2 birds (+ 3rd bird tulane chris?)
....god DAMN you internet for not working until now!!! *cough* what? i'm not bitter. anywhoodle, summited my vote and lovin the blog more than ever!

ashzilla said...

I voted too! We love you!

Gaëlle said...

Ballot submited from Paris!

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