8.05.2009

Some housekeeping & Thoughts I Couldn't Flesh Out Into Full Entries

First and foremost, I just want to thank you guys for the surge in votes and support after Monday's "unpleasantness." That whole episode taught me two important things: 1.) It's not just me; Suzy's a total fuckin' asshole and 2.) I fear the 2b1b reader's wrath. For it is a mighty, mighty wrath. Seriously. When you guys get pissed off, you get shit done. You put out fires. And I like it. But I also fear it. Soooo I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing and pray to the sweet Lord almighty that I don't fuck up and piss you off. It's kind of like a horribly abusive relationship that could be made into a Lifetime movie. I'd like to think I'd be played by Tracey Gold and you'd be played by Andrew Shue. Mmkay, well I'll be in the kitchen making your dinner where I belong. Love you baby.

- Next item of housekeeping: I got the following email from 2b1b reader, Chad, Tuesday morning:

Subject: Question about the Criagslist Coffee Challenge
Hello Ms. McBlogger…

I have a quick question about your posting on Craigslist requesting a philanthropic soul to bring you coffee. I was discussing this post with a friend of mine this evening, and she pointed something out that I hadn’t noticed before. (Obviously she’s much better with fine details than I am.) Why does the timestamp on your CL post say 5:16 p.m. if you needed your coffee between 12 and 4 p.m.?

My friend says that the story is a fabrication, just to have a cute story on the blog. While that explanation is conceivable and plausible given “the best answer is often the simplest”, I am offering the benefit of the doubt with the rationale that maybe the post in the picture was actually a second re-post on CL, a cleaned-up and better organized version of the original post that made for an easier image to place on the blog.

Of course neither of us actually dug around to track down your post on Craigslist to see what the timestamp really is, but I figured I’d just ask.

Thanks Meg. You’ve provided us with needed entertainment. Have a splendid Tuesday.

Chad and his friend bring up a completely valid point, and now I'm nervous that other people noticed the timestamp and think I'm a Frances Fabricator, so allow me to share my response in order to clear up any confusion:

Dear Chad:

That's a good question, with a good answer. The Craigslist Coffee Challenge really happened and you have my word on that. I originally posted the ad at approximately 1 o'clock in the afternoon and received my coffee at approximately 4. However, my ad was flagged and deleted by Craigslist before I could take a screen shot to prove that I actually posted it (please see forwarded email below). I felt the screen shot of the ad was crucial to the effectiveness of the post and thus re-published it, solely for getting said shot. I didn't realize the time stamp would be incorrect and I'd look like a liar. Which is upsetting, because it really happened. Man is my face red. Sigh...

I hope this clears up any confusion. Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt, unlike your friend, who I deduce is an asshole.

Just kidding.

(Not really.)

Love,
Meg

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: craigslist <noreply@craigslist.org>
Date: Wed, Jul 29, 2009 at 4:58 PM
Subject: flagged & removed: 1295359165 (domestic gigs) Need someone to bring me coffee!
To: meg@2birds1blog.com

Your posting has been flagged for removal.

Approximately 98% of postings removed are in violation of craigslist posting guidelines.

Please make sure you are abiding by all posted site rules, including our terms of use.

In conclusion: the Craigslist Coffee Challenge really happened, I'm an idiot and Chad's friend is probably not an asshole. Okay? Well all on the same page? GOOD. Moving on.

- Whenever I flip by an ad for the TV version of 10 Things I Hate About You, I always think it says 10 Things I Hate About Iraq for a solid fraction of a second.
Photobucket

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And what's weirder is that in that fraction of a second, I'm not confused. It makes sense to me that there would be a TV show called 10 Things I Hate About Iraq. Because I can think of 10 Things I Hate About Iraq:
1.) It's hot
2.) It's sandy
3.) It's where the Pauly Shore movie In the Army Now was filmed
4.) Just kidding, that was Chad/Libya
5.) Further research shows it was actually Imperial Valley, California
6.) It's all war-torn and shit
7.) Our troops are there
8.) But are not quite welcomed
9.) Have you ever seen a camel spider?
10.) I know, right?!

Although if 10 Things I Hate About Iraq actually was a show, it would be ABC Family.

- I'm jealous of my sheets because they're back on my bed and I'm not.

- The other day I got what I thought were eye makeup remover pads, but turned out to actually be Noxema astringent pads. This isn't going where you think it is; I didn't burn my eyes out with astringent. (Thank Jebus.) What stopped me was that familiar stingy Noxema smell that prompted the most intense flashback I've ever experienced in my entire life. One minute I'm standing there in 2009 and the next it's 1996: I'm 11-years-old, defniately own a lava lamp, am wearing board shorts, Airwalk sneakers and a Johns Hopkins lacrosse camp t-shirt and I'm standing in Mrs. Jordan's 4th period science class researching the most effective and time efficient way to kill myself to escape the pain and torture that is The Middle School Experience. Snap back to 2009. I put the lid back on the brand new bottle of Noxema, walked it out of my apartment, down the hall and threw it down the trash shoot where the scent could haunt me no more.

I then spent the rest of the night blowing my nose and thanking god I finally developed breasts.

10 comments:

Rachel said...

you see how Chad is nice...and not accusing you of lying, unlike Suzy! And you see how you replied, with a normal and thoughtfull wrath-less answer....I mean....im just sayin...that bitch could learn a thing or 2 from Chad.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Totally! Chad is the poster boy of respectful criticism. Viva Chad!

Caroline said...

that spider picture made me nauseated

CM said...

I went and read Suzie's blog and then stopped reading it because she is awful. Why is she nominated for the humor category when she hasn't written anything funny?

CM said...

P.S. Sorry for being negative.

Anonymous said...

I'd say we are skipping ahead by calling Chad's friend an asshole. It's essentially like pointing out a silly typo in a blog post.
I would bet most readers that notice are just trying to watch your back.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

I know. That's why I said "I'm an idiot and Chad's friend is probably not an asshole."

KLOVEYOU.

Lindsay said...

I didn't notice the time stamp on that post and probably wouldn't have thought twice of it if I had. However, its totally cool with me if you DO make up funny stories for your blog.

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies ... I'd love you anyway!

John said...

I wish you had made up those camel spiders. Things like that should not be crawling around ANYWHERE!

Meghan said...

I will vouch for meg. I saw the post with my own eyes, independently of knowing she did it. and it was definitely in the middle of the afternoon.

 
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