Just because the gang here at 2b1b loves you so much (and by you, I clearly mean drinking) we thought we'd give you a bonus DGF. In honor of this weekend being Pride, I give you Tulane Chris' Gay Pride Drinking Game!

You can bypass all the following rules and just sip when you see a shirtless man. This is a variation called "Suicide by Alcohol Poisoning."

Drink when:
- You ask yourself "Is this person a lesbian or a thirteen-year-old boy?"

- A gay parent brings their kid to Make A Statement about how Gay People Are Good Parents and then has to shepherd them away from booze and almost-naked leather daddies all day.

- Some company puts a rainbow and their logo on a banner/cup/keychain/little twinky guy to make you think that Budweiser/ Ikea / Chili's / Amalgamated Consolidated cares about gays.

(- Throw a Molotov cocktail for each company that does this in lieu of offering partner benefits.)

- You hear a couple bickering about if one of them is checking other people out.

- You catch yourself wondering about the logistics of being a tranny or drag queen - where do you find size 14 chartreuse heels, is it expensive to have wigs washed and styled, etc.

- The entertainment lineup goes like this:
Drag queen stand-up comic
Angry girl band
Drag queen stand-up comic
Angry girl band
Drag queen stand-up comic
Angry girl band
Loretta Swit
Drag queen stand-up comic
Angry girl band

- Every time you hear a fag hag say something about loving gay men.

- Drink twice if she's homely. (She will be.)

- Every time someone bitches about how some OTHER city's pride is SO much better / worse than the one here.

- Every time you notice that some guy shaved his whole body three days ago, so now he has chest stubble.

- Drink in honor of the little twinks who went on "Pride diets" and starved themselves for six days, started drinking at 7 am, and were asleep in their own vomit by 8:30.

- Drink for every reference to Proposition 8, twice if you don't even LIVE in California, and three times for every crappy pun like "Prop H8."


- Drink when there's a grudging reference to AIDS, which though a serious issue is a total buzzkill.

If you're living in a major American city, enjoy your incredibly fagalicious weekend!


Anonymous said...

"- Every time you notice that some guy shaved his whole body three days ago, so now he has chest stubble."

Awwwww, my poor boyfriend had heart surgery on Tuesday, so this certainly will get me a drink without going to a gay pride function.
Good news though, apparently having heart surgery is as good as a pride parade as they have some guy shave your chest, legs and junk and then put you in stockings post-op.

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Gah! Here's to a speedy recovery for your boyfriend my dear! <3

Jorge Valdez said...

If people actually attempted the items on your list this week, they'd be dead inside of forty minutes. I say forty because you've fot to give about ten minutes for EMS response to pronounce them dead at the scene. However, all in all, great post! :)

Jorge Valdez said...

"fot" = "got"

my bad...

M@ said...

Love the photo. Why is it that lesbians have no sense of humor but gay men are hilarious. That cracks me up.

Julia said...

there are lots of hilarious lesbians. just an fyi. :)

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