6.26.2009

Item J-062509: Drinking Game Friday

As many of you may recall, last summer I peaced out of New York and moved back in with my dear old mom and dad for a good six months. Those six months were dark days. On day 1 I got mono and spent two solid months in the fetal position praying for death to embrace me in his cold, sharp claws. After that I started the Great Job Hunt of '08. Again, I prayed everyday for death to embrace me in his cold, sharp claws. Basically when I wasn't praying for death to embrace me in his cold, sharp claws, I was hangin' with my parents, and they definitely made the entire post-NYC-what-am-I-doing-with-my-life-it's-a-recession-maybe-I-shouldn't-have-pissed-all-over-my-job-and-moved-home-to-be-an-unpaid-comedy-blogger-please-someone-hold-me phase of my life much, much more bearable. If not enjoyable!

Everyday I had the same little routine: wake up (cough—at noon—cough); check my email for the many "Dear Ms. McBlogger: Thank you so much for your interest in working for ______! Unfortunately at this time, you can suck our balls through our drawls. We will keep your resume on file for the future. Sincerely, ______" emails waiting for me; writhe around my bed listening to INXS's "Never Tear Us Apart" for a while; finally make my way downstairs; grab the cat, a box of Kashi and my laptop; plop myself down on the couch next to my mom and watch QVC/job hunt for the rest of the afternoon.

I got in some great quality time with my mom during this period of my life. (I also got some great Diamonique jewelry and Joan Rivers makeup, but that is neither here nor there.) My mom always jokes that she watches so much QVC she could make a QVC drinking game, so I thought, pfff
why not? Because who doesn't love The Q? It's hypnotic! Everyone is so perky and everything is so shiny! It's a zen experience. You can watch it for hours on end and completely zone out and forget all your worries and cares. It's a terrific way to forget that you aren't even qualified to work as a janitor at a gallery and that maybe that art history minor was a flagrant waste of time and ha ha...ha...

So without further ado, I give you My Mom's QVC Drinking Game!
Photobucket

Rules:
Drink Once When Someone Says:
- "By the way"(given the right host, this alone can keep you blasted for 1-3 hours)
- "Pop of color"
- "Best of the best"
- "It has a good hand"
- Any time the host or caller says "thank you" while trying to end a phone call
- "You're my favorite host"
- A host says to a caller "thank you sooo much, that means sooo much to me"
- "you're on the air with ______, welcome in to QVC"

Drink Twice When:
- Today's special value is announced
- Something is available on easy pay
- A piece of jewlery is measured with the wooden ruler
- The host says she bought the item for herself or a family member
- The host tests the durability of a bracelet by violently banging her wrist on the table

Chug When:
- Joan Rivers or Tori Spelling make a special guest appearance

I'll add more if i can think of any, feel free to donate some of your own. I humbly submit these for your approval.
Love you, Empty Nester. (That's my blog name, dude.) [Editor's Note: GET IT, YOU GUYS?! GET IT? Empty Nester?! Because it's 2birds1blog?! Isn't she the best!?!????!]


Thanks mom! And thank you, reader. Now normally this is where I ask you to tell a friend about the blog, but today, let's switch things up! I'm feeling a little crazy, so tell an enemy about the blog. Yeah, that's right, tell a straight-up jackhole to follow us on Twitter, join our Facebook page and/or shoot us an email (meg@2birds1blog.com; chris@2birds1blog.com). And thanks for that. Have a great weekend and we'll see you back here Monday morning!

20 comments:

Rachel said...

YES!!!!!!!!! DR in the HOUSE

Christine said...

Heyy friendlies, thought you should see my post from today since I made my own drinking game. The topic? TLC Specials. Don't worry, I gave you guys a shout out for the concept!

http://allabouttheafterparty.blogspot.com/2009/06/tlc-special-drinking-game.html#comments

XOXO - Christine

Christine said...

P.S. Awesome post today. QVC never gets old when I come home shitty haha.

Chris said...

Wow. That was amazing. I'm not even mad. I'm impressed.

Laura said...

Tell your mom I loved it and that I'm sending this post to my mom who also loves QVC... then give her a detailed description of my food allergies so she knows exactly who it was that complimented her.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Ohhhh "Celiak Laura"...you know Mrs. McBlogger loves you!

Julia said...

I'm going drunk skeet shooting at a mansion complex in NC. Your thoughts?

M said...

awesome

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

WHAT?!?!! YOU'RE GOING DRUNK SKEET SHOOTING AT A MANSION IN NC?! LIKE, DYNASTY STYLE?! I know this is delayed, but can you please email me and tell me how fabulous it was? Kthnx.

meg@2birds1blog.com

Anonymous said...

Hi !.
You may , probably curious to know how one can collect a huge starting capital .
There is no need to invest much at first. You may start earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you thought of all the time
The company incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with structures around the world.
Do you want to become really rich in short time?
That`s your choice That`s what you really need!

I feel good, I started to get real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to choose a correct partner who uses your funds in a right way - that`s the AimTrust!.
I earn US$2,000 per day, and what I started with was a funny sum of 500 bucks!
It`s easy to join , just click this link http://wadipurini.100megsfree5.com/mukyguze.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take this option together to feel the smell of real money

Anonymous said...

Hello!
You may probably be very curious to know how one can manage to receive high yields on investments.
There is no initial capital needed.
You may begin earning with a sum that usually goes
on daily food, that's 20-100 dollars.
I have been participating in one company's work for several years,
and I'll be glad to share my secrets at my blog.

Please visit my pages and send me private message to get the info.

P.S. I make 1000-2000 per day now.

http://theinvestblog.com [url=http://theinvestblog.com]Online Investment Blog[/url]

aftab khatri said...

I admit that I am rightful truant besides that is reason I hardly arm in sheets on clock. This stretch I would love to gain a http://www.grabmyessays.com/write-my-paper/ to process on my composition. Do you consideration you could moment me in the true tendency for this?



Qing Cai said...

phone cases
christian louboutin outlet
hollister clothing store
nike tn pas cher
replica watches
ralph lauren outlet
coach outlet store
coach factory outlet
tiffany outlet
coach outlet store
polo ralph lauren
reebok trainers
iphone cases
hollister shirts
ray ban sunglasses
rolex watches outlet
coach handbags
nike air max 90
kate spade uk outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
true religion jeans
lululemon uk
rolex outlet
michael kors uk
burberry outlet store
tiffany jewelry
true religion outlet
ralph lauren polo shirts
true religion uk outlet
discount oakley sunglasses
cai20160411

方松腾 said...

TEN0411
babyliss flat iron
mulberry handbags
longchamp handbags
mulberry handbags
michael kors uk
mulberry handbags
hollister uk
tiffany jewellery
oakley sunglasses uk
fitflops uk
fitflops shoes
ralph lauren outlet
ralph lauren pas cher
tiffany and co
oakley sunglasses wholesale
hollister shirts
tiffany outlet
hollister shirts
coach outlet store
mulberry sale
oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses wholesale
ray ban sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
hollister clothing
kate spade handbags
burberry outlet online
coach outlet online
true religion jeans
burberry outlet

Unknown said...

michael kors uk
fitflops shoes
cheap jordan shoes
bears jerseys
michael kors handbags
dolce and gabbana shoes
baltimore ravens jerseys
salvatore ferragamo
cowboys jerseys
michael kors handbags

龙大猫 said...

cheap jordans
nike polo shirts
nike huarache
michael kors handbags
kobe 11
basketball shoes
nike roshe run
longchamp
nike roshe uk
air max 2016

raybanoutlet001 said...

ugg outlet
reebok outlet
new orleans saints jerseys
ray ban sunglasses
ralph lauren
supra shoes
toms shoes
mlb jerseys
coach outlet
michael kors handbags

aaa kitty20101122 said...

led shoes
jordan shoes
roshe run
lebron 14
vibram fivefingers
adidas online shop
adidas ultra boost
cheap jordans
curry 3
michael kors outlet

adidas nmd said...

ugg outlet
mbt shoes outlet
ugg boots
coach outlet
polo ralph lauren
michael kors outlet
true religion outlet
green bay packers jerseys
gucci shoes
christian louboutin shoes

Zheng junxai5 said...

zhengjx20170819
fitflops sale clearance
air max 90
cheap oakley sunglasses
true religion outlet
nike shoes for women
oakley sunglasses
ugg boots outlet
ralph lauren
cheap nfl jerseys
longchamp outlet

 
Clicky Web Analytics