This is why I get pissy anonymous comments...

Looooooooord have mercyit's finally Friday. I believe you know what that means:

As of 8:47 on February 5, 2010, Larry Hagman is...alive! Which makes one of us because this week has officially killed me. I'm dead. Dead as a door nail. I'm writing this from beyond the grave. Casey Johnson and I are scissoring and the Poltergeist Lady keeps declaring this house clean. That's how dead I am. Well, actually I'm in bed eating mint chocolate chip ice cream at 8:56 in the morning which can only mean one of two things: someone just broke up with me or I'm sick. In this case, it's the latter. I have a vicious cold and it's totally unfair because the only light at the end of this horrible week of a tunnel was the thought of getting snowed in and drinking myself stupid this weekend. Which...I'm still going to do, obviously, but still! I'd rather not do it all stuffed up and feeling crappy.

I know I owe you Part II of yesterday's post; the actual dirty details of how craptastic this week was, but I am begging you to please understand that I just called out of work sick and all I want to do is put on my Jack Daniel's jammy pants, take two scoops of fresh Sudafed and pass the fuck out. I'm really sorry I was MIA this week but I promise I'll be back full-force Monday morning with hee-larious anecdotes from this week's conference. In the mean time, I hope you have a fantastic weekend, enjoy the snow if you're in DC and please please please don't leave me cunty anonymous comments about how you're not going to read my blog from now on because I never write anymore. Because it's been one week. Versus two years worth of posts. For free. I'm a real person. Who has a full-time job and gets colds. Something tells me we're both going to survive. KTHNXBAI!


Patrick said...

People really tell you they aren't going to read your blog when you don't post something for a couple days? Man, people need to improve their own lives.

I'll patiently wait (get drunk all weekend) for your next blog post.

Have fun with Snowpocalypse 2010.

Andrea said...

meh - you don't need those cunty readers anyway....sometimes i seriously wonder how you could possibly write all this stuff while working full time - when i get home from work the only things i can do are 1) park myself on the couch and zone out to tv in a semi-catatonic state while guzzling wine or 2) get blitzed at happy hour and bitch about work....the idea of writing some fantabulously funny/witty blog would make my brain melt - screw them - keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Fuck Cunts.
This blog is totally worth the wait!

I started drinking Jager because of you!!!

Anonymous said...

Meg - see what happens when you set the bar so high? Geez, learn something from the slackers in our generation about entitlement and mediocrity.

On a side note, is it horrible that I hope this sickness results in a hospital visit (full recovery of course) just to hear more awkward stories about running into past hook ups and stool samples? Yeah...thought so...I'll go to travelocity to reserve a window seat on my eventual trip to hell.

Brittany said...

Speaking of stool samples. I made a birthday cake for my friend last week, he said he wanted the icing dark blue. So I put a whole thing of dark blue food coloring in it. Turns out, food coloring doesn't just color your food, it colors your insides.

My poo has been green for the last week.

Anonymous said...

cunty comments = sad and sexless. the only thing i can accept about these asshats is that they inspire you to greater heights of brilliance.

feel better meg. we'll wait until the end of the world if that's what it takes.

Anonymous said...

Cunty commenter is only a few steps away from internet meek. You're better off.

Elizabeth said...

Bitch got served. Take that Anonymous!

(Can this be Meg Mcblogger vs. lame blogger Suzy, the remix?)

Sarah P said...

Alkeypants it up, dude.

Tony B. said...

I'm fairly certain the cure for the common cold is watching the movie "Toy Soldiers" with Sean Astin, Wil Wheaton, and Louis Gossett, Jr. It's a feel good tale that clears the sinuses.

MARJORIE said...

feel better meg...your blog is a very generous gift to us and anyone who takes it for granted and gets pissy when it isn't there should be cursed with chronic schmoody schmiaherra...

Marissa said...

Cunty readers are the worst.

I'm eating Rocky Road. Not because I have a cold or because of a break-up, but because I'm pretty sure I might have a tapeworm in my bowels who's taking care of the extra calories for me.

Feel better!

Non Sequitur Chica said...

Wait you are not in your Jager jammy pants? Well that must be why you haven't been sponsored yet....

Anonymous said...

Where's Cunty McCunterson? Let's take him down!

Caroline said...

I would never leave you mean comments threatening never to read your blog again. And even if I did make threats, let's be honest, we all know they're as empty as my social calendar.

Here's hoping you feel better soon, recover from the week of death, and get to enjoy the snowpocalypse / snowmageddon / whatever the heck they're calling Old Man Winter, round 3.

Sean said...

I heard about this giant snowball fight in dupont circle and I seriously considered flying up, but I don't have a place to stay (unless you want to let me shack up with you. totally wouldn't be weird at all). Then I realized the airports are probably closed, and my hopes and dreams of snowball fights died :(

Anonymous said...

Would totally be worth it for like 1 post a month.

Can't wait for pt 2!

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Anonymous said...

Very strange :) I just said the same thing to a guy! One week of MIA vs. two years of free everything. LOL! Have some chicken soup. Cures almost any type of crappy feeling.

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