Drinking Game Friday had the time of it's life

Man, it genuinely feels good to not be hungover on Drinking Game Friday. That's a nice change of pace. Anyway, before we get to today's drinking game, I'd like to share with you two things that have nothing to do with anything. One being I just checked my blog e-mail, to discover this:

And my god, it is far too early in the morning for my spam filter to fail. I generally don't like to be confronted with the phrase "lick a chick out" until noon. If ever.

Next, I had the most coked-out dream ever last night. But it was one of those really realistic dreams you have right before you wake up, so as you get ready throughout the rest of the morning it's still fresh and weird and you remember all of the weird details...if that makes any sense? Anyway, I dreamt that I was at Eastern Market shopping for a Halloween costume when I saw two blinged-out characters in tuxedos walk by me carrying boxes of cupcakes. They looked somewhat familiar so I stared at them for a few seconds until I realized, "...Is that Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg??" Obviously, I flipped out and followed them for a few blocks and as it turns out, Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg were at Eastern Market getting cupcakes for Dre's daughter's wedding. I freaked out all, "BLO-MY GOD, I'm at Dr. Dre's daughter's wedding!" and tried to stealthily sneak around the venue to find Dre, but instead managed to stumbled into a private Eminem concert. Now, I don't generally like Eminem, nor do I find him sexy in the least, but at the time I was rull, rull into it. I was dancing my face off, a-makin' eyes at him and he totally ended up pulling me on stage during the last number and we started making out. Hardcore. And I'm not going to lie, it was kind of hot. Which again is confusing because I really, really don't like Eminmen. ANYWAY, after the show, Em lead me backstage to his dressing room and was like, "Yo, what the fuck you wearing?" And I looked down and I was wearing a comically over sized black cable-knit sweater and Eminem was like, "Damn girl, those sleeves too long," and took out a pair of pinking shears and cut the sleeves off. He tossed my sleeves to the ground and I was like, "OH MY GAWD I FEEL SO SEXY AND LIBERATED" and we started making out again. That's when things get a little hazy, but the next thing I remember is everyone telling me that I was just a groupie and he was just using me and I freaked out and started screaming, "EMINEM LIKES ME FOR ME! NOBODY UNDERSTANDS US!" I went to his next private show and truthfully I was really nervous he wasn't going to remember me and my friends would turn out to be right, BUT, not only did remember me, he pulled me on stage again and took me backstage after the show. Except once we got to his dressing room, he pulled me in for a kiss and said, and I quote, "You smell like a fucking Cosi." To which I said, "No! It's just because I ate a bag of salt and vinegar chips!"

And then I woke up. Fifteen minutes late. And all cracked-out of my gourd.

Ok, well that was special. Hope you enjoyed that little tour of my subconscious. Now onto today's drinking game. And on a day like today, did you really think DGF would be dedicated to anybody else?

Oh Pay-Sway...RIP, my tiny dancer.

The Dirty Dancing Drinking Game

(Before I get 900 emails reaming me out for not picking Point Break, I would like to state for the record that I fucking hate that movie for the following reasons: 1.) Lauren Petty. Period. 2.) Keanu Reeve's invisible acting skills 3.) HE THROWS HIS BADGE INTO THE OCEAN AT THE END!!! The fuck?! I get that he lets Pay-Sway catch The Great Wave because they were bros and Keanu apparently has the heart of a surfer, but really?? Was it really necessary to chuck your badge into the ocean too?? Garey Busey was viciously gunned down trying to catch Pay-Sway! And not only does Keanu not avenge said death (which, by the way, is what I thought all FBI partners do for each other, asshole) he goes and shits on everything he learned from Busey in the process by dramatically throwing his badge into the ocean! So Busey died for nothing. Because in the end, Pay-Sway gets to catch his Great Wave and Keanu decides, fuck it, I think I'll quit my job and work at the fish taco stand for the rest of my life. And it's bullshit. But, you know, still, RIP Swayze.)

Drink When:
- A voice comes over a loudspeaker
- Watermelons
- Neal patronizes Baby
- You can't stop looking at Jerry Orbach's eyes and thinking that some random schmo in New York City is currently walking around with them
- Someone receives a monetary tip
- Anyone says the word "lesson"
- Anyone says the word "summer"
- Someone counts off
- Baby and Johnny practice the lift
- Anyone lip syncs
- Baby says "daddy"
- Anyone goes a-slummin'
- She's like the wind
- 15 years later you finally understand that Penny got a back-alley abortion, not the flu
- Baby sneaks off to Johnny's cabin
- Lisa talks about doing it with Robbie
- Somebody puts Baby in a corner
- Somebody takes Baby out of said corner

Sadness...welp! Have a terrific weekend! You know, I bet if you told five friends about 2birds1blog, Patrick Swayze could rest a little easier in heavan. And shouldn't we all do our part to make sure Pay-Sway's eternal soul can rest a little easier? You know, after all the joy he's given us over the years...don't be selfish guys. Tell five friends. K, love you, mean it!


Anonymous said...

Hey, at least having the flu is a little more legit. When i was 7 I thought someone had slit Penny's throat. I have no idea where I got that. I would also like to know where my parents were while I was watching Dirty Dancing 9 times a week when I was 7.

Unknown said...

Everyone, everyone, I'll let you get to your DGF in a minute. I just wanna say that Meg McBlogger is the most fucking weird dream of the year.

Unknown said...

you need to lay of my man! no one puts eminem in a dream corner...

The Kuh said...

When I was little, I thought she had food poisoning! I think my 4 year old brain combined the fact that Baby and little weird dude were digging in the fridge for food and that was when she saw Penny all freaked out. And she hadn't even had the abortion yet at that point. Amazing the connections one's brain makes when they are seeing a movie far above their maturity level.

Shelagh said...

I also recently had an Eminem dream! He threw a can of soda at me and told me I was ugly (I still feel genuinely insulted about that one), but then came crawling back because he needed directions to the grocery store. And then we had a heart to heart about why he is so mean to people. I woke up feeling like we have a real connection.

Anonymous said...

That dream was so weird and RIP Swayze, but my favorite part of this post is the email. I love how the email begins with "Dear Sir/Madam" as if they can make 'How to lick a chick out' more formal.

Rachel C said...

I, for one, am GLAD that you did not choose Point Break. If I had to pick it would have been dirty dancing because a) I had the life size poster since I was 6 and b)I grew up wanting for people to call me Baby and have since realized this is why I have a-many issues. The other GREAT movie was the 2 hours of greatness that was Swayze in DRAG!

Genesis said...

ah, i love you even more for making Dirty Dancing today's movie! you're the greatest!

lol @ your dream!

Nel said...

I am new to your blog and I must say...I AM SO EXCITED FOR DRINKING GAME FRIDAY. What a miraculous invention.

Anonymous said...

James wins.

Well, okay, Meg's dream wins. But. Still.


poelondon said...

Well look at that...watermelons CAN be used as a verb.

I'm not going to ream you for Point Break when clearly, obviously, the best Pay-Sway movie for DGF is "To Wong Fu Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar."

Nicole V said...

Your dream was awesome and a lot like my crazy dreams I have all the time. Kinda like the one where I was getting lettuce out of my kitchen cabinet while Rob Pattinson was at my house.

Unknown said...

THANKS Beth! I thought the typo I missed would ruin it.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I am not the only one who took so long to grasp what the dirty knife and folding table meant.

Anon1: My parents did not let us watch it for awhile and would tell us it was about people jumping in the mud and dancing in it. It blew my mind when I saw it the first time, so lies are just as bad as complete obliviousness. :)

Lara said...

Man...I knew it would be a Swayze tribute. I was also hoping for To Wong Fu! In fact, I meant to suggest it. Oh, well.

heather said...

jerry orbach donated his EYES?! i had no clue.

thank you meg for being funny AND informative. and thank you google:


Anonymous said...

Point Break cannot be appreciated until you see Point Break Live, where one lucky audience member gets to play the role of Johnny Utah and read his part off of cue cards. The line "are we gonna jump or jerk off" could never be more dramatic.

Anonymous said...

jerry orbach's eye donation and the comments section on that gothamist piece set off a giggle TIZZY two feet from my boss. we're talking 10, 15 minutes. i need to blalking @ work.


"You can't stop looking at Jerry Orbach's eyes and thinking that some random schmo in New York City is currently walking around with them"

Hahahahah omg ilu. I. can't. stop.

Christine said...

The first time I saw Dirty Dancing I had my wisdom teeth removed earlier that day and was majorly hopped up on pain meds... let me tell you, the thought of a sketchy abortion while you're already kinda queasy and high as a kite doesn't do anything for you!

Oversized sweaters are evil, I can see why Eminem would snip off your sleeves!

steffington said...

Have to admit, I kinda stopped reading about your dream after "Snoop Dogg" because I was just too excited to keep going. I love having dreams about him. Glad I'm not the only one.

Unknown said...

hi! just voted for you and visited your blog. pls vote for my friend's blog, too, to return the favor. thanks.


Christine said...

Your dream reminds me of the episode of "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" where she moves to Paris and Britney Spears shows up to give her a private birthday concert, except that BSPears thinks she's the one dreaming. WHOA.

Julie said...

I have weird dreams like that... well not like that but okay lolz Im confusing myself okay anyways I had a dream that there was this contest to see who could cross the longest bridge I ended up crossing this bridge in seattle and there were people throwing axes from the top and a lady killing people in the water... I woke up thinking what the friggin hell

Alis said...

I had to google "Cosi" and this is what came up:


..not shitting you, please explain kthanks!!

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...


Yummy, over-priced sandwich/salad place:

Patrice said...

I swear I had a conversation about looking all around a subway car whenever I see the Jerry Orbach's eyes ad.

Amazing of him to do, creepy to be confronted with every time I ride Public Transit.

Casey said...

I once had a dream that the frat house across the street from me had a pet rhinocerous that they kept tied up on their front porch. Then one day the rhino started attacking some of the frat boys, and to get it to stop, I threw a bomb across the street and blew up the frat house.

Sooo... I know what you mean about weird dreams. All these crazy dreams were cracking me up to read, though!

2b1b: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

It's an unofficial life goal of mine to meet the person who has Jerry Orbach's eyes. Damn doctor/patient confidentiality...

Anonymous said...

sort of late in the game, but:

- you love not the swayze. to love the swayze is to love the bodhi, and you love not.

- lori petty. lori.

- i am an fbi agent!

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