9.21.2009

The Girl Who Cried Bullshit

Over the weekend I finally caught The Girl Who Cries Blood on my new favorite channel/boyfriend/what?/it's questionable, NatGeo. Regarding it's abrupt and anti-climactic ending, I only have this to say: BULLSHIT! It was BULLSHIT! And it's BULLSHIT! has lit a fire deep within, the likes not seen since Suzy Soro kicked me square in the metaphorical balls.

First a disclaimer: this rant obviously divulges the end of TGWCB, so if you're about to curl up on the couch with a big bowl of Kashi and watch it, I highly recommend you don't read this first. EXCEPT I DO, because the ending was BULLSHIT! and this rant will prepare you for the inevitable pain and anguish of which nobody prepared me. And you're welcome.

Now, in case you haven't seen the 5,000 commercials NatGeo hyped up the show with, TGWCB is about a 13-year-old Indian girl named Twinkle who spontaneously bleeds from her eyes, scalp, hands and "other body parts." There's no physical injury and she feels no pain. She just spontaneously starts bleeding.

A quick little recap: the first part of the documentary follows Twinkle and her mother, Nandani, as they trek around India trying to find answers from various holy men and holistic healers. When that doesn't help, they decide to meet with top American pediatric hematologist Dr. George Buchanan, who has traveled to India take their case.

Dr. George meets her, examines her, does lots of tests, beakers beakers beakers, coagulate coagulate coagulate until he reaches his final diagnosis: a bad case of Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire. The bleeding isn't coming from an injury, the blood from her eyes isn't even coming from the tear ducts, her platelets are fine, she's otherwise perfectly healthy and most importantly, nobody besides her or her mother have seen the bleeding start. She's always conveniently on the john or having super-secret-happy-alone-playtime when she starts a-bleedin'. Therefore Dr. George says, "I've seen the movie Heartbreakers, I know what mother/daughter teams are capable of and I say good day to the both of you." But then Twinkle starts to cry and he feels badly for her, so he tells them that the only way anyone will know for sure if they're telling the truth is if they see the bleeding start, so they'll need to set her up in a sleep study situation and monitor her on a 24-hour basis. Twinkle and her mother not only agree, but are relieved that this will finally prove the truth and get Twinkle the help she needs.

THE END.

What happens? FUCK IF I KNOW! Oh wait, was there a second part on after that you missed? NOPE! World's Smallest Girl was on next. Oh, well was she at least adorable? Nope, wanted to punt her across a football field and celebrate with wings and a beer.

MOST UNSATISFYING END OF ANYTHING EVER! And the thing is, I could handle it if the answer to the mystery was, "Welp! She's a liar!" Because that wouldn't be so bad, it was still an interesting documentary. I could even handle it if the doctor was like, "Fuck if I know! Guess she's a Medical Marvel! GLAVEN!" Because it's not the not knowing that's so frustrating, it's the fact that a simple test is all that lies between knowing and not knowing, and yet it never gets done. And not because Twinkle or her mom don't want it to happen, but just because. Just because it never gets done. Like when you go get a physical and half-mention to your doctor that you've been tired recently, so he or she tells you that you should really get your iron level tested and you're like, "yea...that'll totally happen..." but never do and your doctor never follows up because who really gives a shit and everything is fine in the end because you just needed to stop staying up to watch reruns of South Park and go to bed on time. That's how everyone handles the situation. Except Twinkle hasn't been feeling more tired than usualshe's been bleeding out of her fucking face holes. And this isn't just a physicala doctor traveled to India with a camera crew for the sole purpose of figuring out why this is happening. Don't you think everyone involved, including the documentary crew, has a vested interest in finding out what's up?? I mean, I'm the Queen of not following through with things, so I guess I get it, but this seems like one thing that even I might want to put in the time and energy into actually getting done. You know, what with the stigmata and all.

You may be tempted to point out that if this is just a hoax, than of course Twinkle and her mom would be hesitant to go get the test done. But that's just it! They were the ones who were actually the most psyched about doing it in the first place! Her mom literally says, "This test is exactly what we want to happen. Sooooooo...how do we contact you about doing this...?" But Dr. George is all, "Yyyyeaaahh...I've got a game of squash next Tuesday that I've already rescheduled twice and really can't move again...umm...yiiiiiikes...let me wait to get back to the States and take a look at the old google calendar and then you look at yours and I'll chat ya and we'll work it out. Mmk? Kay. BYE NOW!" and high-tails it out of the country.

And the most infuriating part is that it really isn't even a test that needs to be done! They just need to film her for 24-hours or until she starts bleeding, whichever happens first! And then they'll know for sure whether or not she's lying! AND THEY BLATANTLY ALREADY HAVE A GIANT CAMERA CREW WITH THEM. The hard part's already done! What? Are you trying to tell me there isn't one single tripod in the entire country of India? Not one motherfucker willing to sit in a chair, drink coffee and make sure the little REC light is blinking? And not one single person in India has insomnia and can poke that guy with a stick if he starts to nod off? I mean, I'm not a medical doctor, but that sounds like a pretty fail-proof system to me.

So now we're in our first fight, NatGeo. Good job. How dare you flood the TV with intriguing and provocative commercials for The Girl Who Cires Blood and then have it fail so monumentally? Tonight I will only watch you on the couch, not in my bed. Suffer.

102 comments:

lovenotestoself said...

Apparently I don't watch as much NatGeo as you, because I'd not heard of this, but the premise of the show is fucking brilliant. And I might have had an aneurysm if I watched with that sort of anticipation only to be jerked around by NatGeo. Thank you for saving my life.

Perhaps you should author a Wikipedia entry about it. You know, just to save more lives.

Brittan said...

Yeah, someone definitely needs to write a letter. I didn't have any prior interest in this whatsoever and even I'm pissed.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

I feel like it's my life's work to stir up anger in people's hearts about things that they were in no way interested in before.

And it's an honor.

Patrick said...

Didn't NatGeo also do the documentary about the guy from (insert Asian country here) with the 50 pound tumor on his face? I was pretty pissed about that one too. In the end, all they do is take off 10 pounds from this giant tumor. Well, is that it? They should've freaking waited another five years or so before finally showing this mess. I want to see this guy when he is completely tumor-free.

That'd be like if ESPN stopped coverage of a football game at the end of the 1st quarter and was all like, "Welp...I guess we have enough footage here...make sure you don't ever announce the final score or anything like that either...peace bros"

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

OMG RIGHT?!?!?!!? I was pissed about that too! That was a horribly unsatisfying before & after. It was like, "Here he is before the surgery, where he has no hopes of ever living a normal life, having children or living independently and here he is after the surgery where he still has no hopes of a normal life, but only has to hold his right mouth flaps open while he eats. TA-DA!"

Such a tease.

Annalisa said...

Way irritating. =( And worthy of banishment from the bed. Stay strong.

More bloody children, ahem, more discussion of the fascinating phenomenon at the Daily Mail: http://tinyurl.com/kveqt3

hiphophippie.com said...

You know what that is? A massive load of horse shit. What the mother f?! I saw those commercials too and was luckily too caught up in my love affair with Bravo to tivo it. Thank sweet Jesus or else I would've gotten all Real Housewivee of NJ on someone. Total BS NatB.O.!

Kat said...

Speaking of Suzy.. and speaking of cry babies.. have you seen this??

http://wherehotcomestodie.blogspot.com/2009/09/theres-really-something-wrong-with-me.html

Anonymous said...

re: kat--

dude, seriously? suzy creeps me the eff out. those bangs aren't anything God intended.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Hm, I had not seen that. So when I bribe you with stickers it's cheating, but when she does it with t-shirts it's promotion?

Well fuck me. Hope you guys don't want t-shirts.

Anonymous said...

This is what I call TV blue balls. I watched this show & was sooo pissed @ the ending. But what did I do? I watched the smallest girl in the world, only to be disappointed yet again. Instead of getting an operation on her TWO BROKEN LEGS, she goes to a guru and has dirt rubbed on them. Ugh. NatGeo needs to work out the kinks. And fast.

Kim said...

They really should have marketed this as a docu about Munchausen's. I'm disappointed in NatGeo. What a let-down. And doesn't this in some way contribute to their psychosis by feeding it? Irresponsible.

K @ Blog Goggles said...

That's the worst thing I've ever heard. NatGeo is one of the few channels we get in Hong Kong and if that was advertised, I would cancel all other drinking plans to drink while gawking at that broken little girl. But with that shitty ending? No way.

James said...

Um, I realize I'm late to the party this time (off work yesterday!) but both blood-crying-girl and massive-face-tumor-guy sound horrendous. Like Nightmare Fuel disgusting. Am I the only one that strongly believes that "if you don't look, you're not afraid"?

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

James if you want to never be ok with anything ever again (ever...), I suggest you watch "China's Elephant Man."

And then weep.

poelondon said...

I felt this way about the Indonesian tree man story (his skin looks like BARK!! It's crazy! Bark!), but I think it was ABC that exploited, I mean, aired that story.

Still, I have a feeling I'll fall prey to NatGeo's charms again, and they will continue to disappoint me for a long time to come.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

I legitimately can't talk about the T. Man. So much so, I have to call him "T. Man".

His special traumatized me. TRAUMATIZED. And a few months ago my loving sister, who is 29-years-young, literally chased me around a bar with a picture of T. Man on her Blackberry shouting his name.

Ugh...

James said...

SEE?! THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE! WHY WOULD I WANT THAT?! I will keep my sanity and dreams untainted, thank you. I'm okay with things being mostly okay most of the time.

Natalie said...

ACTUAL IM CONVO W MY FRIEND STEPH:

stephieXX (1:25:48 AM): i wanna see the girl who cried bullshit
stephieXX(1:25:51 AM): is that a real show?
NatXX (1:26:14 AM): The Girl Who Cried Blood
NatXX (1:26:56 AM): but she obvvz didnt actually cry bloood, so MeggerMcBlogger nicknamed it the Girl That Cried Bullshit
stephieXX (1:28:13 AM): ohh i love that!
NatXX (1:29:01 AM): I know right!!! Read every other post, you'll love it.

mlkirwan said...

Sounds like Münchausen syndrome by proxy. Wikipedia it Dr. McBlogger.

Elizabeth said...

a few weeks ago on cnn there was a story just like this of an african american kid who would spontaneously bleed from his eyes and they were trying to find out why as well.

2 Birds, 1 Blog: The sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere, Monday through Friday. said...

Thank you Natalie!

And yes mlkirwan, the documentary explored the possibility of it being Münchausen syndrome by proxy. But thank you, sassy pants.

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Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA! This was awesome to read, I was rolling!

I just watched this piece of shit documentary and decided to search google for some friggin' ANSWERS. I found nothing but I found your blog! It was great to know I wasn't the only one who was just plain angry once this sorry thing was over.

You are hilarious.

Anonymous said...

I share all the frustration you have mentioned in your blog. In the end it left you (the audience) like an idiot for sitting and watching a BULLSHIT story by NG and this doctor from America. I mean how difficult is it to film somebody in observation. ahhk!

Greetings from Ireland said...

Like many others I found your blog while desperately searching for "Part 2" of the Twinkle story. There is NOTHING out there in cyberspace. Surely Dr. George/NatGeo must feel some obligation to finish what he started. All I can say is that I've found solace in the knowledge I am part of a community of NatGeo Twinkle disappointees! I wonder can we force a response from them - start a Facebook campaign "Finish Twinkle's Test"! I'm gutted, the honest diagnosis is obvious but PROVE it and we can all go on about our lives happily again...

Anonymous said...

That was the single greatest rant I have ever read. You win at life. Also watched that show...pure balls

Anonymous said...

excellent blog by the way! crazy documentary, no conclusion - read an interview with the doctor and he's not in direct contact with the girl and her mother anymore, but has heard she's getting worse or something... and still no inclination to put her under observation!!

Anonymous said...

I just watchd this show and like all you people was just pissed of at the end. Its really good to know that you were not the only one who went through the torture just to see the "Nat Geo view".
Phew...

Hina said...

She pokes her nose with a hairpin and causes a nose bleed, smears the blood on her face and hairline and palms etc.

Anonymous said...

Bullshit, pure and true... If you can put 10 idiots in a house, or should i say mansion,and film all their drama and affairs, and give them unlimited food and booze. You mean to tell me you had flown 9k miles with possible bombers, possible crashing, spending all this $$ but no idiot would film all the time, "we just accidently missed the start of the bleeding by 30 seconds", yet the blood is mostly dry if you look close. Glad I dont watch nothing geo very often (as you can tell this been out 2 yrs before i saw), pissed I didnt read this blog before nothing else was on and i couldve planned to hot iron my arms and legs or something (j\k bout the hot iron folks) before watching this bullshit. The frickers had to be there awhile he!! they followed her all over. The bleeding didnt happen often, she's a female, they bleed every so often. Not to mention nose pricking possibility, or just the whole thing being b.s. Im not from missouri, but you gotta show me.

shocker said...

YOU CANNOT BLEED WITHOUT A CUT... its impossible ..and deep down you all know this.

Anonymous said...

Three of us girls have just seen this shit of a docummentary. We all came straight away with the same conclussion: PERIOD BLOOD! Yeap why did the doctor not make sure she wasn't menstruating. Its not even exactly easy to fake...go to the toilet, stick your hand down your pants and up your cunt and smear it a bit watered down on other body parts. Hey presto! no cuts, wounds, or sores seen and no hair pin needed even. Soooo easy to guess! total hoax and total unbeliavable, umprofessional shit of a program!
A total waste of 55 minutes of our lives watching this crap.

Colin said...

I just got suckered into watching this POS documentary on a rainy afternoon here and then of course hit up the internet in search of AN ACTUAL FUCKING ENDING. Apparently, there isn't one. I did however stumble across your blog. George must still be playing squash 3 years later and India still has no way to keep a camera running for 24 hrs straight. What a fucking waste of time that was.

Anonymous said...

I watched it last night on tv in greece.. MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!!! you wrote this years ago.. and STILL there is no follow up on this... I can't find ONE article about what happened next. I'm just going to assume that the mother and daughter disappeared, because they would never actually do the final test.. because they were lying!! I feel so sorry for the girl for having such a crazy mother...

Katie said...

Count me in as yet another victim of Twinklegate. I demand a follow-up. I can't leave this earth not knowing how the f she was doing it. And I def. think she was doing it herself. The blood under her eyes looked like it had been smeared there, not like it had seeped out.

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Catherine .S said...

I'm just baffled at how Twinkle managed to bleed right after seeing the catholic priest guy. I mean is he in on it too? Was he paid to pretend? He must of some what "witnessed" the bleeding occur somehow, he was in the bloody room.
People such as twinkle and her mother promote these proposuous ideas for others to take example to.
Next Sunday night we will be watching the documentary: Girl who bleeds green. Or some what of a similar idiolisation,
This is sick
Absolutely sick

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Anonymous said...

...and never mind that the girl cries in the middle of the show... And guess what?... NO BLOOD!!!!

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Anonymous said...

Love the way that eye blood was all Alice Coopered on with no apparent point of origin, everywhere, except NONE IN HER ACTUAL EYES!

Kendal said...

Oh my god.....I know I'm like 7 years late, but I just caught this on late night T.V., was so furious when it ended that I went searching for some fuckin answers and found your blog....I couldn't have said it better myself!!!!! Fucking hilarious and I couldn't have said it better myself!!!!!!!!!! Love it!

Anonymous said...

Years later, i'm still a victim of twinklegate....

Apparently, she was still appearing on Indian live T.V. by 2010, as evidenced by The Guardian (http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2010/may/12/twinkle-girl-cries-blood-edamaruku), and she made some muslim friends. Although the reporter seems to be quite suspicious, it doesn't states that she "confessed" to faking it.

Worst thing is that the little girl is around my age now, i'll just choose to believe that she was faking it, she confessed it, got over it, made new friends and is now leading a normal blood-cryingless life, while nobody had the guts to actually "exposed" her to the world.

At least i met your blog thanks to this fucking documentary.

Anonymous said...

I think she is telling the truth.. I am praying for part 2..I need closure

Anonymous said...

Clues that point to a hoax: She's a tomboy and has periods that last 10 days - maybe there is some trauma related to this which is affecting her and this is her "loud and clear" statement about it all. This bleeding didn't start until she reached puberty. The plus point of it is that she gets to stay home from school. Other people are scared and in awe of her. She got to travel around India with her mom to search for a cure and be the center of attention.

The blood doesn't come from her tear ducts or any "duct" or pore that they can figure out. It is her blood (not her mom's). What they never tested, and it seems like they could have is if this is menstrual blood she is smearing on herself. All the incidents happen in or near a bathroom. No one sees it start. There is no active flow of blood when people do see it - and it is already drying on her skin. It seems that the doctor could have tested the blood to see if it was menstrual blood bc that should contain mucus and uterine lining material. The samples were so small that maybe he couldn't get enough to test. Her regular blood taken by doctors from her veins was normal with only a minor platelet issue.

I suspect the sleep/observation study fell through because she backed out of it. The mom was all for it, but Twinkle didn't seem so enthused. She also didn't want to stay at the Ayurvedic institute because that would have also placed her in a position of getting caught. (And possibly getting treatment for her 10 day periods). But I do understand a 14 year old girl not wanting to stay with strangers!

She might even have a split personality and not even know she is doing this. The only way to rule it out of being her own menstrual blood would be to examine the blood again and to track when she is menstruating - not sure how that could be accomplished without major privacy issues. If she can materialize blood on her body when she's not menstruating then more study would be needed.

She also needs closer examination for self-inflicted injuries in places difficult to observe such as in her nose, etc.

Anyway, she needs medical treatment for the 10 day periods at the least! And then some psychological counseling to see if that has any connection.

Maverick Kansas said...

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so f**king pissed! Seriously? Can someone beat nat geo with a stick until they follow this up and we know one way or another! I'm so mad I COULD bleed from my eyes! Does anyone know anything? Give me someone at that muppety NatGeo and ill email them myself. Any update would be very much appreciated!.

Anonymous said...

I can't find anything that says what happened after filming, if there was further testing....UGHHHH!

Eileen Tsiapanos said...

Yikes!! Did someone say Daily Mail? That National Enquirer of the Internet? :)

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Unknown said...

Pssst random ranter with genuinly every right to be pissed....
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2010/may/12/twinkle-girl-cries-blood-edamaruku

Here is your satisfying ending...

Courier Z said...

Yes you can, it is called having a period, which, seeing as the blood matched hers, is very capable to do... Perhaps the camra crew did not make a part two, because ot would be 2 minutes of news going as "Welp, she had period, and played with it like a monkey with his shit". And 58 minutes of "Incase you did not know the story, here is a recap!" Think I am being absurdingly rude? Well... I think this story kind of gives me the excuse of not seeming so rude
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2010/may/12/twinkle-girl-cries-blood-edamaruku
Real or fake, it would explain so much... Here is your satisfying ending.

Unknown said...

I'm super irritated aswell!! I just watched it today and have been up googling what the hell happened next! Ugh.

Anonymous said...

I just wish I'd read this before I watched the whole 50 minutes of it
That girl needs a slap round her face and so does her mum
I can't believe Nat go even wasted their time on this bull shit
I honestly am so mad right now

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